Dearlyread - Reader

life changing experience: girl listens to song she hasn't heard in years. it brings back all the emotions she felt back then.

I feel like I didn't come into the world screaming. My sibling was born angry and loud, the world wasn't ready for them, but I don't hear the same story about myself, just that I came out with hair and fingernails, that I wasn't ready to come into the world yet. I'm quiet, not nimble, but quiet. I scare people when they don't hear my footsteps, I always need to raise my voice to be heard, but it doesn't make me feel safe. I can't shout when I'm scared, I can't scream when my emotions bottle up, I physically can't talk to anyone because the words hurt to say. I hate that everything is quiet. I love music. I listen to screaming sometimes. But I hate being overwhelmed with the sound of people. People are volatile. People are angry. I'm never angry, not if I'm hidden away. But then I have to leave my safe space, and it's not just the normal bad parts of the world I become afraid of. Sometimes you know you're safe, but people act like they will betray that trust you have for them. Then had for them. But they're everything. You have to have hope they won't do this again, as long as you stay in line. You can't bring this up again. You have to be quiet again. But my thoughts are never quiet. But that's just my problem, then.

a world not a home

Existing. You do that, you breathe, you see, touch, you taste, you smell. Survival. You do that, you eat, you sleep, you move, you drink. Feel. You do that, you laugh, you cry, you destroy.

Peace. We need that. Love. We need that. Hope. We can lose that flame as quick as it lights.

The basics are simple in this world. But this world is not simple. This world never gives you all you need, or all you can do, but only humanity is what can make this world a home.

Disaster. It kills us. Rejection. It kills us. Guns. We kill each other.

None of us are truly home. This is inhumane. Stop the violence. Ceasefire.

i am being a hater, and i am being queer, and i am being autistic at a family event (and i am not the one who is the problem)

I've been using tinder. I think I'm ready to jump now.

I remember you. You're someone I have to forget.

(I've missed you. I've loved you.)

Alice Fucking Oseman made me know pain and joy lol

Tab system:

Orange: "Wait, That's Me." (Relating too hard to Georgia)

Yellow: "Ace Pain." (i.e. "Being asexual, I felt that, ouch")

Green: "Ace Joy." (i.e. "Being asexual, I felt that, thank you Alice :)")

Light Pink: "RAGE" (Getting angry at the scenario or characters)

Dark Pink: "Outlier" (Moments I will probably quote or wish happened to me, like having a Pip, Rooney, Jason, Sunil, Jess or Ellis)

+ page 5: Alice, when I catch you, Alice.

This song makes me think about growing up a boy, being loved for being a child and growing up and finding acceptance in my journey to be who I want to be brave enough to be.

The question is

I'm genderfluid

Is this subject to change if I retake the quiz???

Low-key lol-ing

Take the quiz for yourself if you're interested! It's completely free and short, enjoy yourself!

https://www.idrlabs.com/gender-coordinates/test.php

Me taking my first binder break and placing a stitch marker on my chest for a second and I see the return of my dread: this is a fucking disaster.