Reblog If LGBT+ Members Have A Safe Place On Your Blog

just listen

Uber Driver: I’m close, where are you?

Kryoz: Oh I see you

Uber Driver: Are you the guy in the middle of the road?

Kryoz: Yeah floor it

Kryoz: i can’t believe this

Smitty: believe what?

Kryoz: that you’d do this to me

Smitty: what did i do-

Kryoz: YOURE MAKING YOURSELF LOOK CUTE AGAIN STOP IT IM TOO GAY FOR THIS

if you dissociate hard enough you can eavesdrop on conversations you’re a part of

My life basically

Friend: I hate my life. Me: Thank You. I meANT TO SAY ‘SAME’ AAAHHH

proof i am a grandpa

- hates kids - full of useless information - everything hurts - ready for death

America’s Sweethearts backup vocals/instruments… truly magical!

(requested by anonymous)

send me your audio requests in my inbox or message them to me!

me: im not gonna let anyone know how im feeling me, three seconds later: hey guys im sad and want your attention

my cat likes being gently scraped with a plastic butter knife like a cute lil fuzzy piece of toast WAY more than she likes any of the grooming utensils or toys i have spent actual money on 

Ohm: john, are you sober?

Kryoz: *slurred* why *hic* would i be sober on my birthday? huh? tell me that Ohm, ya little bunny rabbit

Ohm: …

Ohm: john, buddy

Kryoz: Ohm, buddy

Ohm: John it’s 10:30 in the morning

Kryoz: and? *hic*

Ohm: *gives him a disappointed look*

Kryoz: geez sorry dad *eyes start to water like he’s about to cry*

Ohm: …john?

Kryoz: *starts to cry*

Ohm: okay okay! you don’t have to record today!!

Kryoz: *through tears* thank you *under his breath* ha got eem

happy birthday kryoz!!