So Yesterday My Boss (who Is A Big Burly Man With A Lot Of Facial Hair) Was Singing Along To The Radio

I have been waiting all year to post this.

when you make a great pun but your friends are tired of your shit

do it.

Matching icons for you and your sandwich daddy 

me, reading my completely incoherent essay and deciding its ready to be submitted for 30% of my final grade

Reasons why ive been asked to leave class

i said that the government was a bunch of dick heads and we should all just set the white house on fire and kept calling students who tried to defend the government “dick heads in training”

brought 6 whole pizzas in their boxes to class and was blocking the view of students

I kept sneezing during a lecture

Got really mad at some guy who wouldnt shut the hell up behind me and was flirting with some girl so i told him to shut the fuck up and she doesnt want to suck your dick and to take his frat boy ass and move.

Was signing dirty words and funny shit to my deaf friend and making him laugh. But because he’s deaf he didnt realize how loud he was being. so we both got asked to leave

poured water on some kids test after i was done with mine because i saw him copying off me the whole time.

Kept cussing too much during a socratic seminar about censorship to prove a point. and when they got mad at me i said “You trying to censor my words?”

made toast

had a dog in my backpack and said i had to take him to the vet after the class and didnt have time to run home and get him. he puked on the floor. which is why he had to go to the vet.

Clapping Banned

I think this was last year, but anyways, clapping became a thing at my school. It was crazy. At first it started out small like a few kids clapping when a teacher walked into the room, but a week later it was the whole class clapping when anyone walked into a room. It was loud, there was cheering and screaming as if someone famous had walked in, and let me just say.. This happened to every. person. I mean if you were the second one through the door to a class, that one person sitting there would be clapping. You could hear the clapping from other classes on the other hall. So one day, we’re all sitting at lunch when the principal stands up on the stage(there was a stage type thing in the cafeteria, idk why), and announces that clapping is banned. Anyone who claps will be given a warning, but if they do it again, a referral. And suddenly, the whole cafeteria is quiet. 

And then we start clapping.

i love tom holland so fucking  much he’s so pure

tom holland starred in billy elliot on stage, still dances ballet a lot, confidently said he’d fuck thor, is soft around puppies and kids all the time, talks about getting emotional/crying without making it seem like a bad thing or a big deal, and dressed in this

while dancing to rihanna, and i just love him a lot for it, ok? i’m glad this is the guy that little boys growing up now will see playing spiderman. you go on rejecting toxic masculinity, tom. 

 iM WHEEZING

Yesterday i lost my glasses. And decided to document my frustration until……… I really wish this was planned, but i gotta admit, I took a big L.

Our dog kept barking at nothing and it was getting on my nerves so I went inside and yelled “LET ME EXPLAIN YOU A THING” at him, and he sat down in front of me and waited patiently to be explained a thing.