Listen, I’m Convinced You Could Put Barry’s Name And A Copy Pasta Down Afterwards And It Would Sound

Listen, I’m convinced you could put Barry’s name and a copy pasta down afterwards and it would sound like a Reverse Flash monologue. Or just any meme.

Thawne: “Barry! What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my words. You think you can get away with saying shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your tongue. You didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.”

Barry: “…”

More Posts from Daemonmage and Others

1 year ago

Hot Take, I think the Bruce fires Dick retcon makes no sense and takes away from both characters.

Like why would Bruce be “oh I don’t want to lose my kid so I’ll fire him” and then adopt another kid and let them be Robin. That makes no sense at all?!

And it completely screws up Dick’s whole thing. Like Dick is supposed to represent freedom and independence. Him being fired takes away his agency in that moment and completely undermines his character motivations.

Also the departure does not have to be good. It can be a mess and Bruce and Dick can fight about it. I just want it to be Dick’s choice, because I feel like that fits better narratively.

So yeah the only thing I liked from Nightwing Year One was how he got the name Nightwing. Also in my Earth au thing Dick does still leave on his terms. I might write about my Earth someday I have like a full timeline.


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1 year ago

I have to say, the hero with the biggest wake-up call due to having kids/sidekicks has to be the Flash. All those times he just jumped into action before the team, because he'd thought his own plan out before them? He must be kicking himself, finally getting their irritation as he holds back his own speedsters by the collar and tells them to just wait a damn minute.


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1 year ago

May I sample this cake when it is finished baking?

Bruce about to reveal his identity to the JL

Bruce: “I’m going to do something that may traumatize two of you. I am not sorry.”

Oliver: “oh come on Batman you identity isn’t that special.”

Bruce going full whiny play boy: “Dinah! Ollie is being mean to me!!!”

Oliver: blue screens

Dinah: “YOU BITCH!?”


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1 year ago

Random sad post!

Do you ever think about how some of the Justice League will out live their friends. Like Clark and Diana are like semi immortal in some continuities. Like I think about this so much, cause I think they both would have such a hard time with this. Lois will die before Clark. Diana will loose Steve no matter how hard they fight. Bruce will grow old before them and so will his kids.

I keep thinking about Kingdom Come and stuff so this sort of inspired me.


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11 months ago

Green Lantern: You know, most Superheroes are cornered into the job by moral obligations because of how powerful they are, but... aren't you just like, a normal guy? Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you gave up the vigilante life to just take it easy?

Batman: Well--

Nightwing, suddenly vaulting into the conversation from across the room: No, no, NO, the last time we pretended to be a normal family for an hour, we played Trivial Pursuit and it ended with an arrow through the living room TV. None of us even fight with arrows. We're freaks that need to fight crime, don't take that away from us.


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1 year ago

Does it? I moved here a few months ago.

One time in Gotham there was this tiny coffee shop that was being investigated for embezzlement but it turns out that it was just Bruce Wayne tipping way more than necessary.


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1 year ago

Baldur's Gate fanartists will draw Astarion like a renaissance painting and Wyll like the cover of an adventure novel and Gale like a Leyendecker drawing and Karlach like the cover of a trashy romance novel (where she is the beefy hunk and her love interest is the swooning maiden) and Lae'zel like a knight in a manuscript and Shadowheart and Minthara like the cover of a lesbian pulp novel and Halsin coming out of a lake like the bear equivalent of the Birth of Venus and they're all so right


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daemonmage - I Jump From On Fixation To The Next
I Jump From On Fixation To The Next

23 | ADHD | I warn you all I am odd.

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