I Wish I Could Scream At The Top Of My Lungs But I Live In A Suburban Neighborhood In A House Full Of

addendum addendum:

long story short, i guess i'm just so obsessive over little things. i suppose i need to live by the motto "it's easier to beg for forgiveness than permission," but it's much harder than it sounds. the thought of someone not forgiving me (even if i barely know them) is unbearable.

ugh and i'm SO worried about either talking too much or too little. it freaks me out when i type a lot and someone responds with a few words or vice versa.

anyways weird depressive rant over, back to the freaky and the weird... probably. might come back later if i don't get over this.

sometimes i wonder if i'm too nice for my own good

as much as i love the IDEA of doing it, i'm really awful at degrading people because i want everyone to feel good :D

it mostly comes from a place of anxiety, i guess. like a voice in the back of my head that tells me that everything i'm doing is wrong.

oh what a dilemma i have found myself in... i'd appreciate any tips if people have them, mostly about swallowing that anxiety (even though i don't think anyone would really read this)

OR it could be freaky if you're feelin wild I literally just wanna answer anything without limitations

im BORED chat send asks please 💔

could be about anything freaky or not, literally ranting about one of my interests would fix me rn I just need a good place to start

sorry guys i'm actually just a clump of conscious cells in a petri dish... i'm sorry for lying to you all.

intro post

hello! i am cyanospectre (been here plenty of times under various names) and you can call me Corvus, Cyan, Spectre, whatever you want really. prns are he/they but i don't particularly care (AMAB!!!!)

i'm audhd and this has only led to me being even sillier (and like twice as freaky. i think the lack of knowledge regarding social norms and boundaries has really pushed my "comfort zone" so to speak.)

interests: Persona series (in the middle of p1, beaten p3, p5, started p4), Death Note (duh.), Ace Attorney (just beat aa5!!!), Hollow Knight, Terraria, Minecraft, post-hardcore (MCR, PTV, etc.), nu-metal (Korn, Evanescence, some Limp Bizkit, etc.), punk (Dead Kennedys especially), and so many more. i am so normal about everything i like (just ask)

i love making friends, even beyond the freaky stuff. if you wanna talk, let's talk! i'm just a little bit awkward :(

expect me to mix big huge complicated words like "indefatigable" while i also show how completely rotten my brain is. and also that one tweet that's like "sexting like dracula." that's basically me.

freaky shit below cut

POINT OF NO RETURN!!!!!!!

i was NOT joking i'm freaky as hell!!

first things first, i'm pansexual, but if you're older than me i'm only letting you dom me if you're afab. no offense, guys, i just don't want stuff in my butt. SOME exceptions may apply, test the waters first.

more than willing to sub for older afab people though!!! as long as you're good at it, ofc.

i don't send (in most cases, like maybe you're really coercive or hot or something) but i'm not sure why you'd want nudes from me anyway!

kinks (no particular order, i wanna ramble): oh boy where do i even begin... switch (primarily dom w/ wiggle room), age gap (especially older woman/afab), praise (giving/receiving), degradation (giving only, i'm fragile), bondage (both light and extreme, giving/receiving), bodily harm/torture, worship, knives, sh (iykyk), cnc (especially somno/intox but everything), fauxcest, and like so much more

the best part is that i'm willing to try everything at least once. either ask beforehand or try exposing me to it and see where it goes, just listen and i'll do the same.

i am still clinging to my shreds of decency and morality, please understand if i'm a little hesitant or awkward at first!

it's hard for me to keep a conversation going after it's started, at least at first, so please be patient <3

if you don't want to rely on tumblr's shit ass messenger, i have a few other platforms.

tumblr im- CAUTION!!! open at all times for any reason, but don't be too explicit and don't send anything risque!

tlgd/tlgm/disc- i don't really give them out unless you make yourself seem interesting (especially disc), sell yourself :)

i have some others but i don't use them much

i may get "templed" but you'll know it's me from this intro post, i'll continue using it or something like it :)))

What is your favorite porn category?

i don't watch porn, really! it's not that i don't want to or don't have access to it, i just don't really find the need to most of the time. i had unrestricted internet access from a very young age (like i had access to a computer and the internet when i wasn't even old enough to walk straight). i probably had a porn addiction at some point in my life, though. maybe i should give it a comeback to make myself more of a pervert or smth.

so i don't know if i really have any particular "favorites." i guess things like milfs?? and i guess "femboys" or whatever but i don't like categorizing a whole group of people as a porn category! i just like feminine men.

Even more bored than usual, wanna be freaky

NSFW ASKS.

1:When did you lose your virginity? 2: Rough sex or soft sex? 3: Do you have any unusual kinks/fetishes? 4: Weirdest place you’ve had sex? 5: Favourite sex position? 6: Do you like to be dominant or submissive? 7: Have you ever had any one night stands? 8: Sex on the bed, couch or the floor? 9: Have you ever had sex in a public place? 10: Have you ever been caught masturbating? 11: What does your favourite sexy underwear look like? 12: How often do you have sex? 13: Is there anybody right now you’d like to have sex with? 14: Do you prefer giving or receiving oral sex? 15: Most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you during sex? 16: A song you’d listen to during hard/rough/kinky sex? 17: A song you’d listen to during soft/slow/passionate sex? 18: Are you into dressing up for sex? 19: Would you prefer sex in the bath or sex in the shower? 20: If you could have sex with anyone right now, who would it be? 21: Have you ever had a threesome? If not, would you? 22: Do you/would you use sex toys? 23: Have you ever sent someone a dirty text/picture? 24: Would you have sex with your best friend? 25: Is there anything you do after sex? (for example, smoke, eat, drink) 26: Something that will never fail to get you horny? 27: Early morning sex or late night sex? 28: Favourite body part on the opposite sex? 29: Favourite body part on the same sex? 30: Something that you have hidden in your room that you don’t want anyone to find: 31: Weirdest sexual act some has performed [or tried to perform] on/with you: 32: Have you ever tasted yourself? [If no, would you?] [If yes, what did you think?] 33: Is it ever okay to not use a condom: 34: A food that you would like to use during a sexual experience: 35: Worst possible time to get horny: 36: Do you like it when your sexual partner moans? 37: How much fapping is too much fapping: 38: Best sexual complement you ever got: 39: Favorite foreplay activities: 40: What do you wear to bed? 41: When was the first time you masturbated: 42: Do you have any nude/masturbating pictures/video of yourself? 43: Have you ever/when was the last time you had sex outside? 44: Have/would you ever have sex in public? 45: Have/would you ever had a threesome? 46: What is one random object you’ve used to masturbate? 47: Do you watch gay/lesbian porn? why/why not? 48: Do you like oral sex? (why/why not) 49: How do you feel about tattoos on someone you are interested in? 50: How would you feel about taking someones virginity? 51: Is there any food you would NOT recommend using during a sexual encounter? 52: Would you rather be a pornstar or a prostitute? 53: Do you watch porn? 54: Have you ever been called a freak? Why? 55: Do you feel comfortable going “commando”? 56: Would you have a problem with going down on someone if they hadn’t shaved their pubic hair? 57: If you could give yourself head, would you? 58: Booty or Boobs? 59: Have you ever cheated on someone? (Why?) 60: If you were the other sex for a day, what are five things you would do? 61: have you ever watched someone masturbate? 62: has anyone ever watched you masturbate? 63. Have you ever had an erection and someone noticed? 64. What is your method of masturbation? (ie. toys, clitorial, prostate) 65. What is your bra/penis size? 66. What is the strangest thing you have ever put up your vagina/anus? 67. When was the last time you masturbated? 68. When was the last time you had sex? 69. When was the last time you watched porn? 70. Have you ever bought a sex toy? If so, which one did you buy last? First sex toy? If not, which one do you plan on buying when you do? 71. Guys:Circumsized? 72. Which not-genital part of your body do you like being touched? 73. Which genital part of your body do you like being touched? 74. Girls:Are you able to achieve orgasm just through breast stimulation? 75. Have you anonymously sent a sexual ask to someone on tumblr? 76. When was the last time you have had a wet dream? 77. Which wet dream was your favorite? 78. Is there a friend you would willingly have sex with? 79. Is there a celebrity/character you would willingly have sex with? 80. Favorite sexual position? 81. Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed? 82. Are you into any BDSM? 83. Have you ever wanted to have sex with someone but knew you couldnt for any reason? Why? 84. Do you like dirty talk? 85. Are you loud or quiet during sex? Masturbation? 86. Have you ever been inturrepted during sex or masturbation? Who/what? 87. What kind of porn do you like to watch? 88. Have you ever confessed to someone that you got an erection over them? What about masturbated to them? 89. Have you ever masturbated because your sexual partner wasn’t there when you needed them? 90. Have you ever had a one night stand? Do you still keep in contact with them? 91. Have you ever had a friends with benefits? Are they still beneficial? 92. Ask whatever you want

SEND ME A NUMBER

shhh just go back to sleep, it's okay. i just couldn't help myself, you looked so pretty with your eyes closed.

but we wouldn't want you to stay like that, would we?

bitches call me goro akechi the way i'm autistic and evil

addendum:

it goes beyond like degradation and stuff, i'm just really terrible at making myself get over the anxiety of doing something. i guess i'm just so afraid of people not liking me for something i do. is that normal..?

sometimes i wonder if i'm too nice for my own good

as much as i love the IDEA of doing it, i'm really awful at degrading people because i want everyone to feel good :D

it mostly comes from a place of anxiety, i guess. like a voice in the back of my head that tells me that everything i'm doing is wrong.

oh what a dilemma i have found myself in... i'd appreciate any tips if people have them, mostly about swallowing that anxiety (even though i don't think anyone would really read this)

hickeys from an older woman ughhhh

being marked and claimed by a mother or older sister, hell, even a family friend. them telling me it's just them 'showing me how much i mean to them...'