Ughhhh I Wish I Had More To Post About But It's Kind Of Demotivating Knowing That People Won't Really

yawn... i'm so tired, silly people in my phone. i had a lot of trouble sleeping last night and then had a super busy "morning" (slept in until 11:15 am.) but now i'm free!!

what will i use this freedom for? not much, tbh. being silly online, playing minecraft, the usual. maybe even posting some silly thoughts here!

my minecraft pets

their names are lard and coconut oil :3

i'm gonna try to get more like parrots and stuff

i'm bored and i wanna answer boring questions :3

(PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TALK TO ME!!! or don't it's okay either way <3)

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

just had freaky dog sex w/ @cyanospectre while listening to linkin park during a thunderstorm

bitches call me goro akechi the way i'm autistic and evil

i would literally be so easy to kidnap

just tell me you're going to give me sour patch watermelons and the world will never see me again

and it'd take me like a solid 30 minutes of being in the van until i realize that there never were any sour patch watermelons

addendum addendum:

long story short, i guess i'm just so obsessive over little things. i suppose i need to live by the motto "it's easier to beg for forgiveness than permission," but it's much harder than it sounds. the thought of someone not forgiving me (even if i barely know them) is unbearable.

ugh and i'm SO worried about either talking too much or too little. it freaks me out when i type a lot and someone responds with a few words or vice versa.

anyways weird depressive rant over, back to the freaky and the weird... probably. might come back later if i don't get over this.

sometimes i wonder if i'm too nice for my own good

as much as i love the IDEA of doing it, i'm really awful at degrading people because i want everyone to feel good :D

it mostly comes from a place of anxiety, i guess. like a voice in the back of my head that tells me that everything i'm doing is wrong.

oh what a dilemma i have found myself in... i'd appreciate any tips if people have them, mostly about swallowing that anxiety (even though i don't think anyone would really read this)

no wonder people think I'm submissive... I mean I am sometimes but I love being more dominant, too! I guess I just struggle with confidence and comfort when it comes to stuff like this. god knew I would be too powerful if I didn't have anxiety.

even when I'm anon, I struggle pretty heavily with saying things because they just feel wrong. I always just end up being so polite because I'm terrified of scaring people off, I don't want to make them think I'm weird or gross. I want to make friends and respect people's boundaries, but it's hard to do both!!

this prob doesn't make any sense :(

What is your favorite porn category?

i don't watch porn, really! it's not that i don't want to or don't have access to it, i just don't really find the need to most of the time. i had unrestricted internet access from a very young age (like i had access to a computer and the internet when i wasn't even old enough to walk straight). i probably had a porn addiction at some point in my life, though. maybe i should give it a comeback to make myself more of a pervert or smth.

so i don't know if i really have any particular "favorites." i guess things like milfs?? and i guess "femboys" or whatever but i don't like categorizing a whole group of people as a porn category! i just like feminine men.

a mini-vent of my thoughts

i figure that i should put a kind of warning, even though the content isn't particularly triggering... mentions of f4uxc3st and stuff. and if you don't want to read a slightly depressive and introspective ramble, please just don't read it. thank you :)

i'm starting to think that my interest in f4uxc3st is spread primarily from the fact that i'm the youngest sibling of four. i suppose i just always felt like i've never gotten enough attention nor time alone with my thoughts, let alone talking to other people who i can share my thoughts and feelings with.

that and the feeling of being the youngest always made me wish i was older. the way i've always kind of forced myself into acting older than i am to connect with people who would actually understand me. i've always wanted to protect someone, to be an older sibling, but i've also never gotten the real experience of being treated to an actual childhood.

being autistic certainly hasn't helped that either. it's just forced me to feel ostracized from others and want a deeper connection to the people who are supposed to be closest to me.

or maybe i just think that it's hot! who knows??? and also i'm super mentally ill and have basically no concept of right and wrong beyond the basics!!