1 Note = 1 Pixel for Your Fandom’s Symbol (shown Above) In An Art Piece I'm making

My mom: If you ever get a boyfriend, and need birth control, or get pregnant or anything, let me know. It'll take me a while to accept it, but I love you and will support you through anything

Me: *maniacal gay laughter* I have deceived you all

I had to do it

After Sex

Ivan: Was...was that your first time?

Alfred: No of course not.

Ivan: You shouted "yay this is fun" like eight times.

Alfred: [opening a jolly rancher] and I noticed you said it exactly zero times.

When I walk I hear a poppin in my knees

Hey amigos, the artist I always work with for merch designs wants to do an awareness campaign and donate 20% of the proceeds to a charity that’s related to it - I thought it would be great to come up with a campaign together. Do you have any suggestions?

It's late o'clock and I just found my group didn't do their part of the project so here I am, sobbing and shoveling pasta into my face like the world ends tomorrow, trying to figure out how the fuck you fo quadratic regression without a graphing calculator

@howaboutyoudont I've found my people in the mafia side of tumblr

If you have $1,000 in cash and spend 1 penny, that’s the equivalent of Jeff Bezos spending $1.5 million

Pretty sure this mood change is based on the fact

Nobody

Should ever have to be awake at that unholy hour

Me at 4:50am: I’m thriving. I’m happy and enjoying life for the first time in years

Me at 4:51am: I don’t deserve to fucking live

Nyo Spamano bc I can

Its rodeo break

Babey

Ukraine: How are you ever going to marry someone nice like America?

Russia: Which one is it? Marry someone nice or someone like America?

America: If you were my husband, I would put poison in your coffee.

Russia: If you were my husband, I’d drink it.

uh reblog to be part of a pineapple pizza lovers club. im getting us jackets