Reblog This And Put In The Tags Where Youre From And What Temperatures You Think Are Too Hot And Too

and now i have to wait another long year to post this again

Resolution Progress

France: This year, I promise to be less of a slut.

Russia: That’s the same thing you said last year.

France: No, but I have progress! Last year, I can fit seven fireworks in my ass, but now, I can only fit four!

England, shaking: How the bloody fuck did you measure that?

God works hard, but I work harder

Holy shit oh god oh fuck I stubbed my toe and it hurt really bad but then sorta stopped so I went into the living room and I only now look at my toe because it still hurts and it has a fucking pouch full of blood??? Help what do I do should I pop it? Leave it alone? Stick a straw in it and let a vampire suck the fluid out like a fruit gusher?

Would die for this boy, 10/10

5 minutes of racist, homophobic, transphobic anti-feminist Ann Coulter getting dragged on Comedy Central’s Roast of Rob Lowe

Yo same I never liked bread crusts and my grandma told me they would make my hair curly if I ate them to get me to eat them. I never ate them and my hairs still straighter than me so guess I'll never know

Hey guys what weird fake shit did ur parents tell you I’ll go first my parents told me if I ate chicken my tiddies would get bigger

out of all the tiddie bearing people in my house who eat chicken(all of us) i am the only one who has grown the tiddy

Note to vacationing non-Americans: while it’s true that America doesn’t always have the best food culture, the food in our restaurants is really not representative of what most of us eat at home.  The portions at Cheesecake Factory or IHOP are meant to be indulgent, not just “what Americans are used to.”

If you eat at a regular American household, during a regular meal where they’re not going out of their way to impress guests, you probably will not be served twelve pounds of chocolate-covered cream cheese.  Please bear this in mind before writing yet another “omg I can’t believe American food” post.

What if they are just skin,,, little balls of flesh,,,

mochi!America: (about mochi!England) Why is he so shiny looking?

mochi!Canada: He has a good skincare routine.

mochi!America: We don't even have skin!