Overthinking 🪦

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

annoying bloggers are having another Gossip Season it seems and its mad stupid and evil but this is making me laugh so hard im gonna throw up. fuuuuuuuck #staysafe

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

I'm not saying JD Vance did it, I'm just acknowledging the fact that 10 hours before it happened the Pope had to give him a talk on being more compassionate. I'm saying that would've stressed anyone out.

Yan! Mindreader x reader

Imagine how annoying it would be if your obsessed stalker had the ability to read your mind.

He was a part of your life before you even knew of his existence. Every day, he would follow you around and listen to your thoughts; the good, the bad, the angry and the sad ones.

He wished to know all there is to know about you and what better way was there than to intrude on your most inner, private feelings?

Yan! Mindreader always thought his power was a curse he’d gotten the misfortune of being born with. All day and night he’d been forced to hear everything peaople were thinking. That’s how he got to know his parents hated living together and his friends only saw him as a piggy bank. No one truly cared for him. Anyone who believe they’d want this power is wrong. All it has done is bring him misery. If he had the option to be normal he wouldn’t hesitate.

Then came you. You barged into his life without warning and set his whole body on fire- but in a good sorta way. You made him feel all tingly and light, like he could fly. You were one of a kind; nothing like the others who were selfish, vain and completely fake.

He knew. After all, he could read your mind.

Slowly he introduced himself into your life. It was subtle and natural, just like he’d prepared. He didn’t want to scare you. It was quite easy to fabricate running into each other and after it happened on plenty occasions you joked about it being fate. You saw him at the grocery store, in your apartment building-apparently he’s moved in just next door- and he even visits the same coffee shop as you do! He wanted to scream ‘yes!’, in agreement, it was indeed fated for you to be together.

It wasn’t after too many charming, well-practiced smiles and flirtatious hints that he received the greatest gift of all; you, on your back in his bed with him thrusting vigorously into your warm heat. Oh it was simply heaven. Hearing your moans whilst simultaneously listening in on your thoughts- they were far from disappointing. That was one of the only times he’s blessed his mind reading ability. Thanks to it he knows all your kinks, desires and needs, which he doesn’t hesitate to use to his advantage.

He’d be the perfect boyfriend. You will never want anyone other than him ever. Only he truly knows you and that includes parts if yourself you’ve hidden away or have never acknowledge.

Isn’t he your perfect fit?

———-

Sunlight pours into the room and wakes you up. You don’t want to. Waking up means dealing with reality and its shitty way of treating you. You resolve to just ignore the warm presence behind you and pretend to still be asleep. You hoped he wouldn’t notice.

“I know you’re awake, sweetheart.”

Damn it.

“You can’t hide it, I can tell when you’re dreaming and when you’re conscious. Although I like it when your brain imagines me naked and on top of you subconsciously, I prefer you being awake and in control of those scenarios. It makes me feel good knowing I’m wanted and I’m not sure your dirty dreams actually count.” He teased whilst placing a gentle kiss on your bare shoulder.

Fuck this guy. It was just your stupid brain working against you and he had the nerve to make it seem like you have any affection for him.

“You hurt me wit your words. Where were these feelings yesterday when I took you deeply agai-“

You hit him in the face with your pillow in order to shut him up. You wouldn’t let him bring up anymore of your shame. You knew it was bad but since you were stuck with this man-forever presumably- you didn’t know what else to do. There was no escaping since he would just pick up any plan you had immediately. Hell, you doubted you’d even get past having the thought ‘escape’ in your head before he goes ballistic.

Besides, you couldn’t help but to admit no one had made you feel as good as he had. It killed your soul to think it but it was true.

“Hmm, I like the thought of that. Thank you. I’ll also let you know that you feel just as good and pleasure me endlessly~”

Seriously, fuck this guy.

b-b-b-blow him up