For April Fools We’re Deleting This Entire Site Sayonara You Weeaboo Shits

Microstory

“Sanctuary,” the child cried, running into the library. “Nice try,” the guard following after sneered, “but only holy places can grant sanctuary.” The librarians glanced at each other. A small nod. The head librarian gave the guard a stern look. “Sanctuary granted.”

2002 Michigan Renaissance Festival

Wiener Dog in Armor

After you gave your master the standard 3 wishes, you told him to leave the lamp in a place like a women’s shelter or a homeless camp. Instead he sold your lamp to the highest bidder and now you are determined to twist the 3 wishes to the detriment of both your current and former master.

“To think of the Midwest as a whole as anything other than beautiful is to ignore the extraordinary power of the land. The lushness of the grass and trees in August, the roll of the hills (far less of the Midwest is flat than outsiders seem to imagine), the rich smell of soil, the evening sunlight over a field of wheat, or the crickets chirping at dusk on a residential street: All of it, it has always made me feel at peace. There is room to breathe, there is a realness of place. The seasons are extreme, but they pass and return, pass and return, and the world seems far steadier than it does from the vantage point of a coastal city. Certainly picturesque towns can be found in New England or California or the Pacific Northwest, but I can't shake the sense that they're too picturesque. On the East Coast, especially, these places seem to me aggressively quaint, unbecomingly smug, and even xenophobic, downright paranoid in their wariness of those who might somehow infringe upon the local charm. I suspect this wariness is tied to the high cost of real estate, the fear that there might not be enough space or money and what there is of both must be clung to and defended. The West Coast, I think, has a similar self-regard...and a beauty that I can't help seeing as show-offy. But the Midwest: It is quietly lovely, not preening with the need to have its attributes remarked on. It is the place I am calmest and most myself.”

Curtis Sittenfeld, American Wife

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Finally, someone gets it.

for my fellow southern/midwestern USAmericans: ain't it

the japanese “-ne?” particle and the british slang term “innit” serve the same function

Altogether, I really like the way americans say "can I help you?" as a polite general one-size-fits-all stand-in for "who the fuck are you/what the fuck are you doing here/how the fuck did you get in here/what the fuck are you staring at/what is your fucking problem." Such a polite way of going "bitch what the fuck."

Rabbits and triangles🐇

thanks for the spamn bro, love ur account btw /lh

You're welcome and TYSM! 🖤🖤🖤

Jupiter Enthroned, Heinrich Friedrich Füger

To forge your own manhood is to become divinity itself