Hey There! So Long Time No See!

When you become a speedster it's just inevitable that everything you own will become part of the group for casual use because distance means nothing and you're in one communal unit.

So when Wally finally takes the plunge to a buy an airfryer everyone is quick to remind him that it's really...

Arguing about who is Damian's favorite brother

Jason: Dickhead doesn't count! He's basically the brat's second dad!

Damian: Actually I already have a method in place to determine which one of you wastes of space is my favorite if I'm asked.

Jason: Oh? Don't keep us in suspense then.

Damian: It's simple really. Whoever has the highest kill count at the time is my alleged favorite.

Jason: HA! Suck it losers!

Dick: No fair! I killed the Joker!

Jason: What?

Damian: And while I would normally count that as at least 10, since Father revived him-

Jason: WHAT!?

Damian: Todd, we cannot stop to explain all of the family drama everytime you find yourself out of the loop. You will simply have to unblock us and rejoin the group chat.

Tim: Yeah Jason, get your family updates like the rest of us

Damian: As I was saying, since the Joker isn't dead despite your best efforts, I've decided that your count is at 5.

Jason: So I'm your favorite?

Damian: No. Your confirmed kills are between 20-40. Unfortunately, Drake is my favorite since his confirmed kill count is in the low hundreds.

Dick: I'm sorry. Can someone please explain how my Baby Bird has a kill count at all

Tim, trying to escape through the vents: YOU SWORE NOT TO TELL ASSHOLE!!!

Damian: You swore that you didn't touch my Taj Mahal Lego set. I guess we're both liars

♡More Ship incorrect Quotes for RDR♡

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♡John Marston x Javier Escuella♡

---

John : I love you.

Javier , not paying attention: What was that?

John : I said I’m selling you to the zOo-

--

John : My hands are cold.

Javier : Here, let me hold them.

John : My lips are cold too.

Javier : *covers John 's mouth with their hand*

--

Javier : Since we're in a relationship now, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is our shirt.

John : Fine, but when I come strutting in with your fuzzy socks I don't want to hear shit.

--

Javier : *fast-forwards all the way through the movie*

John : You can't just skip to the happy ending!

Javier : I don't have time for their problems.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

♡Arthur Morgan x Charles Smith♡

---

Arthur: I think it’s time I get my life in order.

Charles , narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

--

Arthur : I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Charles: But, Arthur, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Arthur : O-oh. Well. Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Charles: Is it working?

--

Charles: You have to apologize to them Arthur .

Arthur : Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with!

--

Arthur : Hey, random question, what are your favorite flowers?

Charles: Peonies, why?

Arthur :

Charles: Were you going to get me flowers?

Arthur :

Charles:

Arthur : ᶦᵗ’ˢ ᵃ ᵖᵒˢˢᶦᵇᶦˡᶦᵗʸ

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

♡Dutch Van Der Linde x Hosea Matthews♡

---

Hosea: I can't imagine what Dutch is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

--

Dutch: You're right.

Hosea: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

--

Kidnapper: We have your child

Hosea: I don’t have a child?

Kidnapper: Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crusts off their sandwich?

Hosea: Oh god, you have Dutch.

--

Hosea: That's not funny.

Dutch : I thought it was funny.

Hosea: You don't count. You started laughing in the middle of a funeral because you started thinking of a meme you saw on Facebook.

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

♡Sean Maguire x Lenny Summers♡

---

Lenny: Hey, can I get a sip of that water?

Sean: It’s not water.

Lenny: Vodka! I like your sty-

Sean: It’s vinegar.

Lenny: …What?

Sean: It's vinegar, PUSSY.

--

Lenny: Ew. What kind of tea is this?

Sean: I boiled gatorade.

--

Sean: I’m in love with you.

Lenny: We called off the prank war last night at midnight, dork.

Sean: I know.

Lenny: Ah. Okay. Um. Cool. Neat. Very cool. Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool-

--

Lenny: Are you ready to commit?

Sean: Like, a crime or a relationship?

▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎▪︎

♡Kieran Duffy x Bill Williamson♡

---

Bill : The first time Keiran opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside they yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

--

Bill : Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Kieran , deadpan: I’m a Taurus.

--

Bill : I never tell people off the bat that I'm gay. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face.

Keiran :

Keiran : I like you.

--

Bill : *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Kieran : What was that?

Bill : The sound of someone else's problem.

Some Kansan things I think Clark and the other supers from Kansas would say or do, by a Kansan:

Yee Yee: an exclamation said before one does something exciting, such as hunting, fishing, or shotgunning

Ope let me squeeze right on past ya there, sorry

Yeehaw: definitely said while flying around.

Have overly weird "salads". I don't even know how or why they are classified as salads, but that's what we call them. (Smth like lime jello salad)

Clark as a teen has definitely tried weed. There is jack fucking shit to do in KS but fight and do drugs (in gas station parking lots). That's how he knows drugs don't work on him. He tried them.

Aldis.

Brooding in fields.

Trader Joe's!

They all know way too much about different types of grass. Just going to school in Kansas does that to ya.

*grabs wild animal* this here is a friendly lil guy, innhe? *animal is biting, hissing, and spitting*

Yes to the overly politeness, even if they don't like someone. But if they don't like someone, it's passive aggressive. So, so passive aggressive.

That's all I can think of for now. There are probably more.

Soldier: Calling my superiors by their legal names! _

Soldier: Sup, John Price, staring at him: Don't do that Soldier: ... I'm sorry _ Soldier: How's it going, Kyle? Gaz: Oh I don't like that. Mm, no, sure do not Soldier, laughing: Something wrong, Kyle? Gaz: No no- no likey Soldier: *laughs* _ Soldier: Hey, John, can you sign this doc for me? Soap: Sure- No. No absolutely not Soldier: Please, Johnny- Soap: NO _ Soldier: Hey, Simon, can- Ghost: THE FUCK YOU CALL ME?? Soldier: I'M SORRY Ghost: I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE SLEEPING AT ALL TIMES Soldier: I'M SORRY I'M SORRY- _ (bonus) Soldier: Hey, Kate Laswell: *stops walking and swivels her head around to stare* Soldier: ... This is scarier than LT yelling at me

I bought this last night. This is a total game changer. Internet fame, here I come.

Wait who is Tims assigned youtuber?????

Well

Price doing those embarrassingly gritty, try-hard ThruDark adverts for a bit of extra cash, which is all fine because most of it is faceless with voice overs, and then he happens to do the Price Toe Bounce™ at the end of one, and Ghost is in his office the next morning after it appears on his Instagram feed.

He places his phone down before his captain, hands flat on the desk, staring at Price as he watches the advert. With the exclusion of Laswell and Nikolai, no other man alive would spot the flicker over Price's face as he realises he's been made. Ghost smirks beneath his bally when he sees it.

"What'll it take?" Price asks, opening negotiations.

"Bottle of bourbon, wearin' Man City colours next game day and first dibs on the next kit haul."

"Ask me for a sexual favour, be less humiliatin'."

"Well, I can always send this t' Johnny, whole base'll have it by evenin' debrief."

"Fine, terms agreed. Out."

Ghost picks up his phone and hesitates. "That sexual favour still on th--?"

"Get the fuck out my office, lieutenant."

"Sir."

Very few people get to hear genuine amusement in Simon's voice. Price is one of those few.

hrnghhhh FTM trans Soap thoughts

lil Soap who always knew he wasn’t like the other girls his age

lil Soap who cried when he couldn’t join the boys’ footie league at school. His mom signed him up for a girls’ league instead, but for some reason that only made him want to cry more and he wasn’t sure why.

lil Soap who would always say “No, i’m hamsome!” whenever someone called him pretty, but grew out of it when he got older because the quiet laughs and ruffles of his hair that he received in response evolved into long silences and weird looks that he didn’t know how to interpret.

lil Soap who refused to brush his hair because it was a waste of time, so his mum always had to braid it every morning to keep it from turning into a rat’s nest, eventually coaxing him to let her brush it at least once a week because “I want you to look nice for church, m'ulaidh” and even then he’d sit on his little stool with the poutiest look on his face because this takes so loooong! How can anyone do this every single day?!

trans Soap whose family always sort of knew. The first time he comes back from a long deployment after starting T, he’s worried because he’s changed a lot and he doesn’t know how they’ll react, but when his Mum opens the door and lets him into the house, she just pinches his cheeks and says “you look just like your father” while his siblings immediately start clowning on him for his mohawk

Trans Soap who had to disclose his identity to Price so that he could still get his T shots while deployed and couldnt hide his big ol’ smile when Price just clapped him on the shoulder after signing the paperwork and said “Welcome to the team, son.”

Trans Soap who comes out to Simon over breakfast at his flat, where a drunk walk home the previous night had turned into to a make out session and almost a hookup, but had ended in a slightly awkward sleepover for obvious reasons.

Ghost who hasn’t exactly taken the time to sit down and work out what and who exactly he’s attracted to, he just knows he likes Johnny, so he takes a long sip of his coffee (because Johnny doesn’t have any tea) as he works out how to respond.

Ghost who can see how antsy Soap is getting while he thinks about what to say, so he puts down his mug and blurts out “still got an arsehole, don’t ya?” and starts mentally kicking himself the second the words leave his mouth because what the fuck?? who says that? He’s so nervous his hands are shaking and that’s how you respond? You blew it Simon, you idiot-

Soap who starts losing his mind laughing, both because that was the goofiest thing anyone has ever said in response to finding out about him being trans and he’s so relieved that Simon didn’t make a big deal of it

and then they kiss or something idk

Examples of Bruce’s “Dad Strength” as witnessed by various Robins throughout the years:

can and will bodily pick up any new Robin and bail as soon as gunfire starts on patrol

one time Bruce got out, physically ripped off a broken part of the Batmobile, and threw it in the backseat so he and Jason could keep chasing someone in the Narrows

ran home with Nightwing over his shoulder when he got shot

frequently lifts sewer grates/manhole covers like they weigh nothing

does push-ups with Robins on his back for a challenge

held onto the side of a building with just his fingers for ten minutes once when Steph’s grapple line broke and he had to help her back up

pulls hot dishes from the oven without mitts sometimes for Alfred (insists scar tissue on his hands means he can’t feel it, nobody fully believes him)

Damian swears he saw him kick a tree down once during training. A big tree.

Dick frequently catches him unscrewing screws in his prototypes with his bare fingers

Punches through walls????

can drink nothing but straight black coffee for several days before any signs of discomfort (this freaks out everyone but Tim)