Lan Qiren Is Not Having A Good Time

Please somebody, get Bichen away from wwx

Ok, but listen.

Jiang Cheng, in nothing but his inner robes, gunning it barefoot down the walkaways of Lotus Pier, because his beloved nephew (age four) decided to escape his bed and climb into an unsecured boat that is now being pushed by wind into the lake, much to Jin Ling's wailing dismay.

JC didn't even think to use Sandu, just launched himself full-tilt from the end of the pier with sheer physical brass of knowing he can eat that twenty metres...

A few minutes later, he was rowing the boat back with one arm, the other full of a wailing nephew, adrenaline finally settling down.

you know what'd be really fucking funny? gusu history lessons with the new generation (re: lan sizhui, lan jingyi, jin ling, ouyang zizhen)

jin ling asking jiang cheng about if yunmeng jiang truly was eradicated almost to extinction, lan jingyi asking lan xichen about the burning down of the library, but most importantly:

lan sizhui, approaching wei wuxian: wei-qianbei! i apologise for being so direct, but was there really someone who could melt spiritual cores? and, if someones core was melted, would restoration be possible?

wei wuxian, freezing up:

wen ning who was nearby, dropping the radishes he was carrying:

I love Zu Zhan Jin's portrayal of JGY so much. Like he's so expressive! His face! His body language is so fluid! His voice has so much emotion! And yet his intentions anv emotions are as opaque as a block of solid wood. I love Villains like that

'mine'

To be loved by a god. 🌸

the way wangxian’s first meeting is literally just we wuxian saying “is that a sword or are you just happy to see me” and lan wangji, who has just fallen in love for the first and last time, immediately trying to kill him

It’s affection, always / you’re gonna see it someday

the world of pidw is malfunctioning. wives already wed are not triggering their wife plots, and the story is suffering!

to fix the issue, the system has grabbed the soul of shen yuan to act as wife plot enacter. he must now set in motion the wife plots for every wife who does not stumble onto it by herself, as well as keep the timeline on track.

luo binghe thinks there’s a weird meddling kidnapper with access to aphrodisiac plants who’s jealous of either him, or his harem. he genuinely can’t tell. the man, who he’s never seen but had been described as kind, beautiful and gentle, was either too kindhearted to hurt any of his wives or a malicious spirit. some of the wives even come back with gifts. as apology? enticement? luo binghe doesn’t know. some wives even want to go back, while others ask the emperor for leniency. he’s yet to manage to catch this mysterious man.

the system has applied a special tag to npc shen yuan’s character profile: “protagonist halo’s blindspot”, which allows him to evade every attempt at being discovered by the protagonist while active! it’s really quite helpful.

eventually luo binghe figures out some kind of pattern to the whole thing (airplane had a system) and, disguised as the wife in “danger”, he allows himself to be kindapped and taken to a modest but warm home where he’s shown to “his” room and told to wait by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. he’s given books and food, and assured no one will bother him until the emperor shows up.

when luo binghe doesn’t show up to save the wife, shen yuan begins feeling bad for keeping her cooped up and starts keeping her company. they talk, play table games, she cooks for him when he proves hopeless in the kitchen. shen yuan feels horrible: where is binghe? this beauty is waiting to be saved, and he’s nowhere to be seen! and she’s so cool, too! very powerful cultivator! why would binghe not want to save her? he’s left the appropriate amount of clues! also, where’s the system?! the damn thing announced it was enacting “final wife plot protocol” and then fucked off!!! shen yuan was so close to freedom!!!!!!!!

and that’s the story of how luo binghe found his empress

prompt for @/shiraayasha on twitter for the juniors quartet g4g here, thanks so much!