Maybe It's A Good Thing That Lan Zhan Had Minimal Rizz Back In The Day.

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LQR: When choosing a cultivation partner it is important to choose someone with similar values and ideals as you.

LWJ: Mn. Must be someone intelligent, responsible, kind, wise, reticent, good self-control, quiet, and respectful of our rules and traditions. Must be someone my family(shufu) approves of.

WWX: Sorry to interrupt the lesson, but quick question, Grandmaster Lan—what’s the record for number of rules broken at one time?

LQR, eye twitching: . . .

WWX, fingers crossed behind his back: …for research purposes only, of course.

LWJ: . . .

LWJ: that one

No one waited, but I'm back

Soulmates AU wangxian where their skins reflect. So Lwj has all of Wwx' scars (bite marks from dogs, belt scars from Madam Yu, a surgery from when JC needed a kidney, a burn mark on his chest, etc) and Wwx has... Nothing. Because they have the same callouses from sports and bruises from training but Lwj has no scars nor does he write on himself or accidentally gets ink on his hands. So Wwx thinks he has no soulmate, because even when he writes things to him (Hi! How are you?? WHO are you?? Are you well??? Are you there????) he gets no reply. Lwj does see it, he just knows his parents were soulmates and their relationship was fucked up, and that his uncle's soulmate didn't want him, and that his brother's relationship with his soulmate is stranged because he likes someone else. So he doesn't want a soulmate at all.

Anyways. Shit happens in Wwx's life, he hits rock bottom and starts getting tattoos. Why not? It's not like he's saddling anyone with them.

Cue Lwj watching ink accumulate on his skin while he's working a CORPORATE JOB. His uncle thinks it unprofessional and they are creeping towards the neck and hands.

So he writes to his soulmate to please stop.

His soulmate: so you DO exist uh.

Lwj: I do not want a soulmate. Or tattoos. Please refrain from getting any more and from trying to contact me.

Wwx: ...

Wwx: okay.

Thirteen years later Lan Wanji falls in love with the gorgeous Biomedical Engineer working at his company, Wei Wuxian, and is doing his best to approach this man who has been so very obviously mistreated (Wwx is on his YLZ era with others). They get closer little by little. And then one day they are on a date and Wwx rolls up his sleeves and Lwj comes face to face with a lotus flower sleeve he knows intimately well.

Cue angst.

oh, hello brainrot <3

The thing about Hua Cheng is that there is in fact two wolves inside him and one is the very cool extremely competent hopeless romantic ghost that rose to power to support the love of his life whenever he needed him and the other one is the cringefail 10 year old who saw a boy so pretty he forgot to hate the world and instead took a nose dive of a giant wall because he was experiencing being a fangirl for the first time and both those wolves start fighting when Xie Lian throws hands.

the world of pidw is malfunctioning. wives already wed are not triggering their wife plots, and the story is suffering!

to fix the issue, the system has grabbed the soul of shen yuan to act as wife plot enacter. he must now set in motion the wife plots for every wife who does not stumble onto it by herself, as well as keep the timeline on track.

luo binghe thinks there’s a weird meddling kidnapper with access to aphrodisiac plants who’s jealous of either him, or his harem. he genuinely can’t tell. the man, who he’s never seen but had been described as kind, beautiful and gentle, was either too kindhearted to hurt any of his wives or a malicious spirit. some of the wives even come back with gifts. as apology? enticement? luo binghe doesn’t know. some wives even want to go back, while others ask the emperor for leniency. he’s yet to manage to catch this mysterious man.

the system has applied a special tag to npc shen yuan’s character profile: “protagonist halo’s blindspot”, which allows him to evade every attempt at being discovered by the protagonist while active! it’s really quite helpful.

eventually luo binghe figures out some kind of pattern to the whole thing (airplane had a system) and, disguised as the wife in “danger”, he allows himself to be kindapped and taken to a modest but warm home where he’s shown to “his” room and told to wait by the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. he’s given books and food, and assured no one will bother him until the emperor shows up.

when luo binghe doesn’t show up to save the wife, shen yuan begins feeling bad for keeping her cooped up and starts keeping her company. they talk, play table games, she cooks for him when he proves hopeless in the kitchen. shen yuan feels horrible: where is binghe? this beauty is waiting to be saved, and he’s nowhere to be seen! and she’s so cool, too! very powerful cultivator! why would binghe not want to save her? he’s left the appropriate amount of clues! also, where’s the system?! the damn thing announced it was enacting “final wife plot protocol” and then fucked off!!! shen yuan was so close to freedom!!!!!!!!

and that’s the story of how luo binghe found his empress

Headcanon that WWX used the song Wangxian as a lullaby for himself and a-Yuan in the burial mounds. He associates it with the safety, security, and serenity that he associates with LWJ even if he doesn’t remember that’s why. He associates it with his head being cradled in LWJ’s lap, his hands carding through WWX’s hair as he takes care of him when he’s suffering the fever from the infection. He associates it with being held and cared for.

So, when he’s thrown into the burial mounds by Wen Chao, he hums that song to himself a lot when he’s feeling scared and like he needs some comfort. (Which is a lot bc he’s in the Burial Mounds where everything is trying to kill him.) Even after he escapes the Burial Mounds, he hums and sings it to himself for self soothing. A little something to keep the voices of the dead from driving him insane and remind him of how to be human.

He plays it when trying to calm spirits and fierce corpses if the other songs don’t work or he just wants to use this one instead. He pours his heart and soul and humanity into playing it so it may remind the dead just as it does him of that comfort and safety it holds in its notes. The love it offers brings him back from the edge of madness many times, so he holds the song close to his heart for when he needs it.

It is only natural then, that when a-Yuan asks him for a lullaby that he plays that one. Whether it’s notes ring out of Chengqing or fall softly from his lips, he gives this melody to the boy in hopes it will bring the same comfort it does him.

So, of course, when he’s newly resurrected, this is the song he plays to calm Wen Ning. It is a song he has long associated with calming erratic emotions, safety, security, love, and, perhaps most importantly, reminding one of their humanity.

'mine'

The Yiling Patriarch