The Boys Are Back! Back To Save The Day!

a peaceful day

WIP!!!

I think a MDZS Psych AU would be hilarious. WWX's this super observant genius who remembers everything he sees and can easily guess people's true motives, but it only ever gets him into trouble.

First, YZY hates him for getting better grades than JC, then he's kicked out of LP for calling WC on his lies at a charity gala, effectively blackening the Jiang name. After leaving, he gets caught up in a plot to assassinate him, which leads to him testifying against the Wens in court - which leads to a new, intense interest in seeking justice for those who can't.

...Unfortunately, even this gets him in trouble. WWX's called in one too many tips to the local police station and now he's a suspect! Oh woe! Whatever is he to do?! They're going to lock him up and throw away the key!

LWJ, an up and coming officer with a decade long crush on WWX: Do not worry. I will speak with Uncle to clear your na-

WWX promptly decides to announce that he's psychic.

"Impossible!"

LQR...doesn't believe it. No one really believes it, but LXC takes the opportunity to hire WWX as a consultant for cases...

"...Otherwise not easily solved," he explains delicately, very subtly not winking at his brother who's also very subtly not eavesdropping on their conversation. "You would of course be working with Wangji."

WWX considers it for a moment: a well paying job that interests him, and he gets to bother LWJ all day? How could he possibly say no?

And so he doesn't. In fact, he agrees.

WWX and LWJ become partners. LWJ the dashing young police officer, WWX the spooky, scary crackpot-

"Do not insult yourself, Wei Ying," LWJ chastises.

WWX can't help but swoon. "So protective of my reputation LZ!"

"Mn."

LWJ has good reason to be protective - and of more than just WWX's reputation. Since becoming 'psychic', WWX's attracted a number of very vocal detractors who find his methods disrespectful - along with several enemies in high places who can't afford to have their secrets uncovered.

Thankfully, LZ is always there to keep him safe. And when LZ's busy, WN is willing to step in and help.

(WWX is somehow blind to both LWJ's boundless adoration, and the fact that he's essentially employed WN as a part-time bodyguard behind his back.)

Still, no system is perfect. While investigating the murder of a local debutante, WWX is captured by one of his enemies' lackeys - Jin Zixun.

"...Who?" he asks, drawing a blank.

Jin Zixun pokes his finger in WWX's face. "You-! Don't you remember everything? How can you pretend not to know me?!"

WWX blinks. He's sure he's never seen this person before in his life. But when he says as much, Jin Zixun looks fit to beat him.

Thankfully, before things can get too heated, LZ breaks into the warehouse they're keeping WWX in and rescues him. Is this another swooning moment? Of course! Any moment is a good swooning moment with LZ around.

"Mn," LWJ agrees, picking WWX up in a bridal carry (after arresting the bad guys, of course).

WWX laughs, hiding his cherry-red face in LWJ's neck.

"LZ!" he whines, batting his partner's chest. "Don't just agree with me! Think about my heart."

LWJ tilts WWX's chin back, so he can look him in the eyes as he says, "I think of nothing else."

WWX almost swoons for real. What an unexpected confession! Maybe he isn't as observant as he's given credit for?

"Ridiculous," LWJ denies, "You are very observant. Just not psychic."

WWX laughs so much he almost falls out of LWJ's arms. Thankfully, LWJ is stronger than he looks.

"I am so psychic!" he argues once he's caught his breath. "I'm getting a vision right now!"

"Oh?" LWJ's raised brow shows exactly how little he believes Wei Ying.

"It's true!" WWX says. "I see...! It's us! We're standing side by side and...we're getting married! We're gonna be together forever, er gege."

Heart in his throat, he looks up to find LWJ staring back at him with dark, hungry eyes.

"Mark your words," he says in a growl, and WWX gulps.

That day, LWJ becomes a little less sceptical of his new fiance's preternatural powers, and WWX becomes a firm believer in LWJ's physical prowess. 😉

----

Jin Zixun, some hours later, still handcuffed to a chair in the abandoned warehouse: Hello? I think you forgot me? ...Hello??

I love this soo much. I saw it once and now it's ingrained in my brain. It is soo soothing to watch, this man is like, just so happy in this.

THRITY SOMETHING, RENOWNED CULTIVATION AND WAR VETERAN HANGUANG-JUN SULKING AND POUTING BC WEI WUXIAN DARED TO SMILE AT A GROUP OF LADY FARMERS

like if this isn’t the cutest image to ever be conjured 😭😭😭 lan wangji of the past would have burst into a rage and gave the cold shoulder or hissed a “shameless” at wwx but now, nearly two decades later, all he can do is pout and sulk 😭

Wangxian plot bunny I may or may not write, but I encourage people to write as well 🫡

Wei Wuxian: I have an excellent idea for people to leave us alone.

Wen Qing: oh boy...

Wei Wuxian: don't you wanna know what I got?

Wen Qing: stupider?

Wei Wuxian: booo! Anyway. I'm gonna send this message at the Great Sects and they'll be so disgusted they'll leave us alone!

Wen Qing: "if you want to keep the Yilling Laozu from doing horrible, ghost cultivation, then send someone as a sacrifice to have nasty, disrespectful sex with him. Those who exceed his expectations will gain everything he owns".

Wei Wuxian: See? 100% guarantie of success! Nobody will take the offer and if they do, I just say it wasn't good enough! Win-win for me!

Wen Qing: so you got stupider. Alright. Scrape that idea

Wei Wuxian:...

Wen Qing: what. Did. You do.

Wei Wuxian: I already sent it to the major sects...

Wen Qing: I swear tO GOD!!

Meanwhile, at the big sects:

At Yunmeng jiang: the message was ripped apart by Jiang Cheng because he knows Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid and isn't going to fall for it. Also, not willing to send someone to Yilling, like, think of their reputation!

At Qinghe Nie: the message was also ripped apart by Nie Mingju because he thinks Wei Wuxian is mocking them by calling out their righteousness. They're not sending anyone either, but Nie Huaisang 's brain is going "??.. !"

At Lanling Jing: there's a huge debate about which prostitute to send him, how much they'll have to pay said prostitute to keep the Yilling Laozu content and get their hand on the Yin Tiger Tally without sacrificing too much on their side. Everyone is shooting everyone in the foot. Nothing concrete is done.

At Gusu Lan: the message was ripped apart and everyone is shaking their heads at the shamelessness of the Yilling Laozu, they're too "above" to even consider sending anyone. Lan Qiren, knowing Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid (same as his mother, hmpf!) is nearly ripping his beard off from how mocking the boy is! Lan Xichen is sighing at yet another proof Wei Wuxian has fallen because of his cultivation. He goes to tell his brother not to do anything rash but Lan Wangji is already gone. Oops.

A month later, Lan Wangji comes back with a gaggle of old people and a child. And the Yilling Laozu, dragging his feet and trying to escape. Lan Wangji says "excuse me." at the sentries before walking to the sides in the forest for.. about 45 minutes? and when he comes back, Wei Wuxian is disheveled and loopy. He looks like he's been mauled by a fierce beast. The rest of the Wen group look exhausted and used to it, wishing they could be set somewhere so they don't have to endure their Yilling Laozu being ravished (enthusiastically) by Hanguang-jun four times a day. Wen Yuan is just happy Wei-gege and Rich-gege made up.

yearning <3

Xianle Quartet is a top tier polyship not only because of the metric ton of emotional baggage (and the sheer volume of sexual tension and awakening possible between 3 virgins and an effectively celibate fertility god), but also simply because they're all from a country renowned for beauty and pretentiousness, therefore treating impossible beauty standards as the norm.

Xie Lian's canon internal thoughts consist of not infrequently calling people ugly. Can we blame him? He was raised constantly surrounded by and continues to surround himself with devastatingly attractive people. Feng Xin, canonically olive-skinned and handsome, archer's figure. Mu Qing, canonically delicate-appearing and pretty. Hua Cheng, growing up to be tall and savagely beautiful.

Meanwhile, Hua Cheng is a literal fashionista, decked out in every possible silver accessory at any given moment, jingling like a Christmas elf and fabulous while doing it. He throws money around on luxury items just because he can, and his taste is impeccable. Mu Qing straight up destroys his own statues if they're ugly, literally described as wearing luxurious robes that he probably made himself because no one could do it better. They're the divas of this operation. They're judging you, hard, and they want you to know it, so you will.

Xie Lian is the equivalent of the naturally beautiful friend who doesn't wash their face with anything but a bar of soap and comes out looking flawless. He needs absolutely zero fashion sense because he could wear a trash bag and people would think it looks high fashion. Feng Xin is the himbo friend who washes with 10-in-1, yet his skin glistens in the sun like an oiled up ancient greek olympian. He does a normal amount of working out and comes out shaped like Captain America. They're simply God's Favorite, so they don't need to try.

Basically, I picture them as the blindingly hot polycule walking around like the Cullens entering their high-school cafeteria. Hair blowing in an invisible wind. Throwing incredible amounts of shade in the communication array.

They're hot. They're judgmental. They're literally the Mean Girls.

Ok so another rant about Jiang Cheng cause I have so much beef with this man. Of course this is from a personal perspective and you're allowed to disagree. I don't care. Tbh a lot of my issues with Jiang Cheng are really issues I have with some of his stans

Like one of the excuses his stans have to defend him is that he couldn't have possibly known what Wei Ying was thinking and it's not fair to expect him to but like... no??? I very much disagree with that statement because Wei Ying isn't just some stranger. He is his brother. The person he grew up with. The man he's known for almost 2 decades. The person who's protected him and whom he has also protected almost all his life.

Yeah he might not have been able to discern the truth but he couldn't give his brother the benefit of the doubt? His grief and anger doesn't excuse him from blindly blaming him for the Jiang massacre. From blindly believing what other people were saying about him. Yeah Wei Ying had faults but that didn't matter because the Wens were always going to attack regardless. Like they did with the Cloud Rescess. Their accusation of Wei Yings insolence was just an excuse and it's a VERY common tactic employed by dictators to justify their actions.

And i genuinely do not understand why so many of his stans give him a pass to be an asshole just because he has anger issues or just because of his trauma. Whilst at the same time ignoring Wei Yings. I don't know why so many of his stans can't comprehend the difference between understandable and justifiable.

And the fact that he expected Wei Ying to just abandon the Wens and leave them to die was immoral to the extreme. The fact that some of his stans see Wei Ying 'breaking his promise' as being more egregious than Jiang Cheng basically allowing a genocide to happen right under his nose is unbelievable. Not to mention it's worth arguing that he might have actively participated in the genocide. The fact that he solely blamed Wei Ying for the death of Jin Zixuan and doesn't even try to argue that hey maybe Jin Zixun shouldn't have blindly accused Wei Ying of cursing him and tried to ambush and kill him.

It's like he had all of his mother's anger but none of her backbone. The fact that he never shares with Jin Ling the whole truth about how his father and mother died was so manipulative because it was basically him passing on his generational trauma to a child he was supposed to protect. All he does is parrot the opinion of others. Let's other peoples words get to him. Allows his jealousy to warp his perception of someone he's known longer than almost anyone. How is it Lan Zhan can understand Wei Ying and see the conflict within him better than Jiang Cheng does?

Also politics isn't a one way road. There are multiple routes that can get you to the same destination. Him showing some backbone and defending Wei Ying even if it was just giving him the benefit of the doubt could have impressed enough clans for them to support him but no. He shows no standard of his own. Terrified of going against the status quo. He's actually a good mirror to Lan Zhan with the difference being Lan Zhan realized his faults in the end and tried to fix them whilst Jiang Cheng just rooted himself more firmly in his rotting muck.

And again you are allowed to like him regardless. You don't have to desperately find ways to justify his actions.

Dadji how I love you