It's A Good Thing Sisko Shaved His Head. In The Pale Moonlight Is A Bald Man's Soliloquy. A Man With

3x17 - Visionary

im high and all i wanna do is draw odo

I’ve seen a post talking about Deep Space Nine being pre-9/11 show and I’ve never felt that more than Kira talking to Tom Riker and literally going “dude you’re so bad at being a terrorist, you don’t have that dog in you, if I was in your shoes right now I would’ve been murdering everyone I could because I was a an effective terrorist and that’s what an effective terrorist would do”, and it’s not presented as Kira being evil or unhinged, she’s just making a (correct!) observation about the situation.

So. Nobody was kidding about S02E22 "The Wire".

mortifying

the way Odo calls the Founders “my people”

You ever think about those DS9 episodes where everyone's aboard the Defiant fighting an intergalactic space battle, and meanwhile back at the station it must be like:

the thinggggg the thing about kira and jadzia is that. jadzia is so so so full of joy and the measured, steady, unshakeable optimism of someone much older than she is. but she wasn't always like that, she was a lonely, anxious, nerdy kid who "grew up" 300 years in the span of a single medical/spiritual operation. and a big part of that experience was the dedicated training she got towards knowing herself, knowing her needs and desires and how to meet them, so that she wouldn't get drowned out by the rest of dax. right

and she comes to ds9 and she meets kira, a lonely, anxious fighter who was an adult by the time she was 10, who never had the opportunity to know more about herself than what was strictly necessary--that she is strong, that she makes a good leader, that she can do anything she sets her mind to. but she never figured out what she might like to set her mind to, because freedom was the only thing it was possible to want.

and jadzia sees her old self in kira's face, in the bowstring-tight lines of her, and jadzia takes her by those aching shoulders and says Hey. do you want to know yourself? do you want to know what joy is? do you want to play?

so i just finished season 2 of DS9 for the first time and i have so many thoughts about quark and his relationships with the crew; specifically ben, kira, jadzia, and odo. throughout the season, we see quark either trying to connect to these four — albeit in his own grating way — or proving his worth to them after a major fuck-up. (this is the case for jadzia specifically; he inadvertently put her on danger in invasive procedures [2x03] risked his own life trying to save her. we see them hanging out in playing god [2x17], so we know they’re cool and that jadzia forgave him. this should go without mentioning jadzia sticking up for the ferengi more than once throughout the season, specifically to kira, and insisting there’s more to them than their money grubbing ways.)

with ben, quark attempts to connection with him over a drink in second sight [2x09], only for ben to turn him down — presumably because he has too much on his mind and quark is quark, but the way the camera lingers on our favourite bartender, we can see how the rejection ate at him. the rejection sensitivity is dialled up even further in shadowplay [2x16] when quark attempts to get playful with kira, only to be told she utterly despises him for collaborating with the cardassians during the occupation — forcing him to realize that their snark isn’t a game and that she legitimately doesn’t like him, to the point where he says (verbatim) that he wishes he hadn’t brought it up. this comes up again in the jem’hadar [2x26] when he mentions to odo that kira specifically doesn’t like him, showing how much he internalized that conversation and ruminates over it even with the passage of time — and that’s still not all!

in the collaborator [2x24], there’s a specific exchange between odo, kira, and quark that’s very relevant to the theme of quark feeling rejected and isolated by the crew. transcribing it doesn’t quite do it justice, so i’ll just link the scene itself:

TL;DR: these two show up and quark immediately gets defensive and nervous. given his interactions with odo on a regular basis + kira’s recent (and completely understandable) anger, he figures them confronting him together probably spells out trouble for him. and unfortunately, in typical odo fashion, he doesn’t exactly make him feel any better:

quark: you want something from me, don’t you?

kira: how’d you guess?

odo: it’s simple. we’ve been here more than a minute, and we haven’t insulted him, threatened him, or arrested him.

quark: exactly. so what is it?

quark values odo’s opinion a lot. and while i’m sure odo was just playing around and being sarcastic, this is the last thing quark needed to hear in that moment and solidifies in his mind that he’s only of any value to the others when he’s useful, which ultimately culminates in this confrontation with ben after they’ve been captured by the jem’hadar:

i’ve seen this clip before, but it was only last night, after having seen season 2 to completion, that i finally had the full context for it — specifically, for quark’s emotions, and why he went on his little tirade. he isn’t angry at ben specifically; he’s angry at the entire DS9 crew for (in his mind) treating him like an annoyance that’s only worth speaking to when he gives them something in return. i believe he brings up his species as a whole rather than Just Himself for two reasons: 1, it gives him a roundabout way to express his outrage without getting too vulnerable, and 2, he is attempting to rationalize why he’s faced with the indifference and the animosity that he is. chalking it down to speciesism helps him rationalize why this is happening, but the alternative is also pretty devastating: that they just don’t like him as an individual.

but here’s the kicker: they DO like quark! ben lets him come along on the camping trip despite his wishes to spend time with jake and only jake. he engages in conversation with him, feeds him, and is pretty damn amiable towards him despite quark’s incessant complaining. he defends quark to eris when she expresses annoyance over him. meanwhile, odo specifically joins the rescue mission to make sure quark gets home safe (in his own words!!!) and even tells kira she’d miss quark if anything were to happen to him — they ALL would — and she agrees!

the tragedy is that all of these things are discussed when quark is out of earshot (no pun intended) or just not paying enough attention. but despite his growing disillusionment with them, quark is willing to resort to violence (something he’d really rather avoid) to protect his friends; first demonstrated in invasive procedures and then coming full circle when he lethally shoots a jem’hadar trying to hurt ben, who returns the favour by making sure quark isn’t left behind despite eris’ insistence. and this time, quark IS around to hear that someone cares about him; not just anyone, but the station’s commander, which certainly gives him the validation he’s been craving all season long.

while i can’t find the clip, i think quark’s little monologue to the gloomy morn at the beginning of the episode describes it best; he isn’t just their bartender, he’s their confidant and their friend — or desperately wants to be. unfortunately, his learned / cultural behaviours, impulsivity, and selfish tendencies (as demonstrated when he abandons morn to scurry after his boytoy, aka odo) drive a wedge between him and the people he’s come to want the approval of so badly… and despite his glaring flaws and their often flippant treatment of him, they manage to like him anyway. big ears just needs to listen better, it seems — or maybe his friends need to make their affections a little more obvious.

i just. man. it’s such a subtle arc, one you probably don’t notice unless you’ve been watching a bunch of episodes consecutively like i have (not to mention my, ahem, keen eye on a certain ferengi…), but it’s so satisfying. they didn’t have to do all that for him and they did. this show and its attention to character detail is incredible and i can’t wait to see what else it has in store for me. 🖤

sorry. cant stop thinking about this

bonus stupidity round: