Latest Posts by cleelczipsybane - Page 2

Violence in the Tatara Shrine

This stage is the Tatara Shrine, where the Last Descendant of the Kagami Family, Kagami Izuna, is kept, hidden away from the Shainto who seek to kill her. (Izuna is not to be confused with the young priestess Suzuka, who gives the players their weapons in the first game. Common misconception on the English net.)

While this is the final boss stage for the Shainto, it is also the stage you'd fight Mikado in the Vs CPU gauntlet mode. You normally cannot select the stage, but I'm a dirty little hacker.

Normal jumping while your opponent is down automatically does an attack in BB2.

Multiple attacks can connect at once. Getting hit in the legs is far less dangerous in the second game, since it only slows you down instead of breaking your leg (which makes combat nigh impossible).

Notice how her legs are shaking in her victory pose, that's because she got hit.

Game Manual 1.5

The game manual post had some technical difficulty, so I split it. If the prior post is hidden, it's because tumblr is labeling "mature" likely by auto error.

The Japanese manual, for reference.

Game Manual

Here are some some details and pictures from the games' official manuals.

Mikado and her Shainto counterpart Kaun face off.

The manual pairs her with Jo as speed-type. The stats the ladies have are similar with the four swords, but the polearms are a different story. The Shainto spear is Jo's worst weapon, but the Narukagami naginata is Mikado's best. Mikado and Kaun have the maximum speed and power with the big pointy sticks!

Mikado's stats with each weapon, if you're curious are:

Weapon-----Power----Speed

Naginata----22/22----15/15 Same as Kaun with Yari (Jo is 15 and 12)

Broadsword-15/22-----12/15 Same as Jo

Katana-------12/22-----14/15 Slower than Jo

Nodachi-----15/22-----13/15 Much weaker than Jo (18)

Longsword--10/22----14/15 Slower than Jo (Tied for the weakest Char/Weapon combo in the game.)

Notes: The lowest normal power is 10 and speed is 12. NPCs and the secret duo are above the limit. Mikado is weaker and slower than Kaun with all swords except being as fast with the katana.

In the original game, Mikado and Black Lotus (aka Kokuren, aka James, aka Highwayman) are the medium characters. Sadly, I haven't found the character stats in BB1 yet.

Also, that codename: Gate of the God's Descent. That's even cooler than my nickname for her: the Empress.

Mikado and Tatsumi face off, back when she was balance and he was speed.

These scans came from Archive.org, so that's why the text is scrunched like that.

Polearm Vs Gun

Bushido Blade has a pair of characters that use guns. This also let's me show you the hit sparks of the game. Blue is good defense, green is bad defense, white is neutral clash, orange is nonlethal hit, and red spray is DEATH.

Hokkyoku Tsubame with her M16 cannot deal with the point-blank assault. Maybe she should have stuck with her sword.

Mikado refuses to let Schuvaltz Katze even stand to aim his Revolver. Most of the cast have a low opinion on the hired gun.

Official Sketches

Her original design was more priestly, but was toned down for looking too much like a sentai villain. The outfit on the right is an early draft of her story mode outfit. The note on the right talks about how scary she looks with her hair down, but I don't see it.

She's only depicted playing the flute in the intro of the second game, but I'm glad that concept was there from this early on.

Just a close-up of her pretty face, yeah?

While I'm certain these are all official, I have taken them from FightersGeneration.com. They have some weird ideas about when this game takes place, though. It's in Nineties Japan, not ancient Japan. The Parking Garage stage with the audible car peel out should be a clear indicator.

Bushido Blade 1 Story Mode

The Story mode of the original game is somewhat oddly designed.

First, you either defeat four opponents, or lure your starting opponent across a huge map to an escape hole. You can either break their leg so they can't follow you, or fight them in the cave when they chase you in.

Either way, you will then fight the fifth through nine opponents in confined stages for the ending. All while not violating the rules of honor.

However, if you didn't fight the second through fourth opponents and never got hit by anything. You can fight the secret tenth enemy.

This video showcases Mikado's story mode cutscenes. First, the scenes for killing her friends in a few different locations (there's around thirty locations these can play at), then the unavoidable fights. Followed by the scenes of her friends killing her in their stories. Then we repeat both set of friend clips again in different locations while everyone is covered in mud. The unavoidable fighters cannot be covered in mud.

Hanzaki (the ninth guy) only has his defeat scene play if you're going to fight the secret boss. Canonically, he's also the only one who died. (Maybe Kindachi, one of the secret bosses, does, but personally I think he's a ghost.)

Victory Poses in Bushido Blade

In the original game, victory poses are tied to the character's weapon. Here's Mikado striking each pose in each of the Vs stages.

Rapier on Yahiro Road

Katana in the windy Yagura Point

Broadsword in the Cherry Blossom Grove

Naginata in the Underground Grotto

Longsword at Executioner's Cove

Nodachi in the Meikyokan Dojo

Saber near Dozaemon Moat

Sledgehammer in the Bamboo Thicket

Rapier on Yahiro Road

Katana in the windy Yagura Point

Broadsword in the Cherry Blossom Grove

Naginata in the Underground Grotto

Longsword at Executioner's Cove

Nodachi in the Meikyokan Dojo

Saber near Dozaemon Moat

Sledgehammer in the Bamboo Thicket

Mikado of Narukagami

I would like to draw your attention to one of my favorite characters. She is one of the protagonists of Bushido Blade and I have several posts I'm going to make about her.

A shrine maiden at the Tatara Shrine, member (turned acting head) of the Narukami shinto school, and (former) assassin of Kage. Her design is rather straight-forward, sure.

In 1997, the dojo master, Hanzaki, went mad (got possessed) and had to be put down. The other major players went their separate ways, but Mikado stayed to continue the organization's true purpose: protecting the last descendant of the Kagami family.

In 1998, the rival school Shainto saw the weakened Narukagami and launched their attack. Mikado, however, had foreseen this and had called most of the old team back, plus a few new friends. The Shainto had overplayed their hand and Mikado saw the chance to bring the 800 year feud to its end, once and for all.

Has it really been two years?

"Light Me Up"

If I fall apart, you know where to find my pieces when they can't be found

On this day 2 years ago, The Owl House came to an end.

Thinking About Sin

I'm a big fan of combining the Orthodox eight deadly thoughts with the Catholic seven deadly sins: splitting sloth back into despair (tristitia) and apathy (acedia) [though I like to call this one sloth still], keeping envy, but ditching vainglory.

SLOTH and DESPAIR

While the end result of laziness and despair are effectively the same from the sinner side (you don't do things), the means of temptation are the exact opposite.

Contemplate what a being, say a demon, would be that invites you into sloth: a maid, the latest techno-fad, an overly doting parent. Someone who says, "Let me take care of that," which eventually mutates into a nasty little brain-imp whispering, "Let someone else take care of it." This obviously overlaps with several of the other sins.

Contrast despair, who is here to F*** YOU UP. It is here to break you with a never-ending torrent of misfortune, a constant parade of life kicking you in the teeth. This could also have the exact opposite effect, spurring someone into wrath.

The overlapping area would be someone claiming to protect you from the big scary world, but sloth says "Just don't look," while despair grabs you with both hand and slams your face into the worst of it. "Look at it! Look at this s***!"

In short, despair is clear counterpart to wrath (and both lead toward violence), but apathy/laziness feels disconnected from it and has more in common with pride and envy.

ENVY the Serpent's Glare

The sin of envy sits at the intersection of pride, wrath, and greed. This position, I feel, warrants its inclusion as a designation of category of sin; it's so common, that it seems more than just the sum of its parts, but a natural point. It's like the color green: once viewed as merely shades of blue, but it seems so obvious now that it never should have been. Some even claim envy is the deadliest of the sins, beating out even pride.

PRIDE, VAINGLORY, and VANITY the Devil's Three Heads

Vainglory and vanity just seem like archaic ideas; subdivisions of a theme that were rightfully reorganized. Boasting and self-obsession hardly feel out of place being dubbed pride and the means of temptation would be the same: just someone who's adhered their lips to your rear.

Having them separate seems as absurd to me as splitting gluttony into different sins. Though, I'm not a religious person, so my thoughts here are more narrative (fantasy writing, that is to say) than moral.

As a big fan of Bushido Blade (1 and 2), how is it that I only found out about the secret Versus mode inside of the Story mode today?

WLC 6.E: Bull-headed

"Listen fast," says Ling to the still dazed minotaur, "The kids are alive, there's one witch coming, and the second's getting the third. I've infily'ed their coven and ya're brainwashed. Play along."

Sheriff Honeycrisp has several questions. Unfortunately for him, Zingiber footsteps were slowly growing louder. He lies back into the junk pile, feigning unconsciousness.

"Water for the lady." Zingiber presents a chalice to Ling as if it contained wine or nectar.

"Thanks, mate." Ling chugs it immediately.

"Ready to see my work?" Zingiber sways with glee. "My latest I call Marrow Radiance."

"Can ya make him do stuff?" Ling puts the empty cup down.

"Oh," says Zingiber, deflating, "Like what?"

"I was just wondering if ya knew mind s***e."

"That's Gudrun's thing."

"So, she had him blame someone in town, then?"

Zingiber giggles, "Sort of. She let him just pick someone who'd fit."

"Really now." Ling resists the negative urges rising in the back of her mind. 'Think of the kids, Ling,' she thinks to herself.

"Sheriff, walk to the main room," Zingiber commands, "Any ideas, Dr.?"

Honeycrisp rises and stumbles his way out, quietly grumbling all the while.

As the ladies follow him, Ling asks, "I thought coven's shared magic. Are ya all studying extra things?"

"Yeah, the coven stuff is mostly utility: reshaping land, portals, material conversion."

"Sounds like your boss wants a construction crew," says Ling, carefully navigating the misshaped hall, "Any idea why?"

Zingiber shrugs. It wasn't going to be that easy.

"Can ya make the sheriff do cartwheels?"

"Yeah, but why?" asks Zingiber, "I can do soooo much worse."

"Gotta start small, mate," says Ling as they enter the main room again. "If ya do your big evil s***e now, how do ya top it?"

"Point taken," sings Zingiber, "Alright, moo-man, do s-"

"Zinj, I need to talk to ya," says Gudrun, standing by another door. She scowls at Ling. "In private." She looks to the sheriff. "Watch the doctor," she commands.

"Sure, what's up?" Zingiber dances across the room and follows her coven-mate into the darkness.

"Cartwheels, really?" angrily whispers Honeycrisp.

"Ya want her to pull your skeleton out your a**e?" whispers back Ling, "That one's a loon."

"All you b***hes are loons," says Honeycrisp, "Chaotic w***es the lot of you."

"Ya got a f**king problem, mate?"

"Yeah, c**ts like you!" shouts the sheriff.

"Of course, they do, b*****d," shouts back Ling, "They wouldn't hate ya if ya'd stop being a sack of s***e!"

"You diseased s**t!" Honeycrisp steps forward, his figure towering Ling. "Just here to bang the kidnappers."

"B****y f**kwit!" Ling stands as tall as can, glaring into his eyes. "Just mad ya've been saved by a woman; ya hate us so much."

"You barely count as a woman, p***y-sucking lizard."

"Says the cuckold farm animal!"

"What is this language?" asks Ioana, who had slipped into the room unseen.

"Wow," mutters the diminutive deputy behind her.

Is this what the kids call "drip"?

Pretty excited for tomorrow's The Gaslight District pilot episode :DD

Another demon passing through my thoughts:

Wearing a hard hat, putting on safety goggles, before chasing people while dual-wielding portable power drills.

SPINNING WITH A BIG SWORD

Whether you're a dark knight...

Or a pretty princess...

This feeling is unmatched.

WLC 6.D: Am I Glad that We're Not Frozen in Here

After getting their clothes, Ling once again plots a course.

"Question, mate," says Ling, following Zingiber into the junk-filled chamber, "Heard some kids have been coming out this way. They with you?"

"Oh," Zingiber squeaks slightly and giggles, "Yeah, those kobolds have been a huge help. Huge help." She laughs quietly, but, as Ling can no longer deny, evilly.

The comatose bull still stands in silent indignity, yet still towers over the elf and gex.

"I've been practicing a few spells on this dummy," says Zingiber, "But Gudrun still needs him for her plans, so I can only do weak reversible s**t to him, like Torsion spells."

Ling laughs. "Ah, reminds me of school," she says, secretly casting a spell, "B*****ds spamming that spell so much, that the whole place had Genital Shield Mirror up at all times."

L: Morality classes really should mandatory at wizard schools, to introduce the concept at least.

"You must have SO many stories about spells," says Zingiber, getting too close for Ling's sense of safety, "Especially about the o̶̢̡͇͇͚̣̮̖͍̠̗̱̍͋͑̔̿̉̿̌̀̎̕͜r̶̛͈̜̭͉͍͚̃̋͐̆͛̐͗̈́̎̏̕c̸̢̨̞̹͈̙̠͉̋́̀͝ ̴̗̱͈̙͉̪̝̳̣̝͕̩̮͉̫̖͒̽͊̓̓̅͊̆͌͜w̴̛̝̟̤͊̏͐́̌̓̄̑͒̒͗͗͗̃̚͜͝ả̶͔̣͖̘̳̫̜͓͕͒̇̉̇̕̕͘͝r̶̢̧̢̛̜͇̯̖̘̘͉̗͗̅̎́͑̈̋̌͆̅͛̕̕͝."

L: Aargh. J: What's wrong? About the what? L: Don't remember...

A sudden pounding pulses through Ling's brain like SONAR through unlucky fish. She grips her head and hisses.

"What's wrong?" The elf takes a step back. "Do you need something?"

"Water," says Ling, scraping her claws along her head-scales, "Get me water."

"On it!" sings Zingiber, "Be right ba-ack." She prances down the corridor.

Ling immediately turns her attention to the sheriff, fighting to clear her thoughts. "Alright, cavebull, time to unf**k your brain." Harnessing her knowledge of physical brains, Ling attempts to counter the hex holding Honeycrisp. Grabbing his head, she channels a torrent of magic through it. The process puts her own mind back at ease.

The light returns to Honeycrisp's eyes. They dart about his head in confusion before settling on Ling. "Get your w***e hands off me," he growls, pushing Ling away.

"Ya're welcome, ya b*****d." Regret surges forth like an open wound.

Current Wizard Lizard Chronicles Ideas:

Here's just a collection of thoughts about what kind of stories Ling has to tell. Orc War will be Chapter 8.

The Orc War: a dark story about the brutality of war, people's capacity for cruelty, and what happens when you push a good woman too far.

Cultural Transitions: "Be gay, do crimes" dominoes into two societies' revolutions. Big focus on the how the Vrow became less xenophobic.

The Godmother, or "Jevoi, We Have to Cook": Jevoi attempts to join the Mafeya.

Mother Fearest: Meet Ning; master assassin, Social Darwinist, overbearing mom.

Wizard Lizard and the Lizard Wizard: spelling errors drag Ling into her neighbor's own perilous life.

How I Met My Step-mother: Ning meets the love of her life due to her wild daughter's social strife.

Hara Kiri is Haram: Back in wizard school, Ling helped a suicidal samurai avenge her family.

Are You There, Goddess? It's Me, Jevoi: What's worse than puberty? DIVINE PUBERTY.

Succ You Bi: Young Ling is offered demon summoning powers in exchange for representing Hell in a debate and Ling learns her mother's darkest secret.

The Day the Sun Died: What drove Jevoi to ruin the world?

An Overview of Bushido Blade 1 & 2

I really love Bushido Blade 2, the somewhat realistic sword-fighting sequel for the PS1. Though I understand why someone may love the first game more.

Both games operate on the idea that if I stab you in the face, then you die and I win the fight right there. In the first game the area on the body for a fatal hit is much smaller, so fights could take longer. You could also break both the left arm and a leg to greatly weaken a character. Leg-breaking was removed in the sequel for being too devastating; you were reduced to only a few desperate attacks in that state.

In BB1, buttons were high, mid, and low attacks and a deflect/parry. You changed stances with the same buttons that controlled jumping snd crouching. There was also run and surrender (for when your legs were broken) buttons.

In BB2, buttons were vertical/stab and horizontal attacks, and stance change. Jumping and crouching are easier to do, as are the moves from those positions (like throwing things). Running is the same and surrender is now a pointless gimmick cutscene you can trigger for fun. Parrying is now done by hitting an attack right before the attack hits. Opposing attacks are an advantageous parry, same attack are disad. You can quit a fight from the pause menu instead of having to die; you can choose to go to either sub-menu (character select) or top-menu (main menu). Yes, those are the names they use.

BB1 has far fewer characters (6 plus Katze), but more weapons (8 plus Katze's gun) and bigger movelists, making each character feel special.

BB2 has a huge number of characters (20 plus 2 gunners), but the weapon pool (4 swords plus 2 faction exclusive polearms plus 2 guns) and special moves are less diverse. It does have dual-wielding, iaijutsu, deadly grabs, and falling to your death. The final bosses also cheat requiring breaking the first games honor rules: one wears armor (you have to stab him in the back) and the other can teleport for no dang reason (you have to hit him while he's getting back up from it).

BB1 modes are story, normal versus, 1st person link versus, training (freely fight the CPU), and chambara/slash. BB2 adds an additional training mode (commandable CPU), vs CPU, and team battle to that list.

Chambara/Slash is a vs 100 survival time trial against progressively harder mooks. This unlocks Katze the revolver user in both games and Tsubame (who traded her NPC ninja sword for an M16) and the bonus mirror match duo in 2.

Vs CPU is actually a gauntlet against every character you've unlocked (minus your chosen and one of those two bonus characters).

Team Battle has both players select one of the two factions and select 3-5 characters and weapons each. No character or weapon can be repeated for each team. CPU cannot play this mode.

Link Battle requires two copies of the game, PS1s, and TVs along with the PS1 link cable. All that just so both players could play in 1st person mode. Both games have a special maze stage exclusive to this mode.

Story mode is the only changed mode. In BB1, you fight 4 of the other characters (but are actually supposed to lead the first across the huge map, break their legs at the exit, and escape in a tunnel), the fight the last playable character and a series of NPCs. All without breaking the code of honor or getting hit.

BB2 is much simpler. There are eight stages consisting of 3-5 ninja and then boss on all (except the first). The gun characters and the final boss have no ninja. The Shainto also have a ninth stage, but it's just a choice of killing the descendant or just leaving. You have additional characters that you switch to for a stage, and, if they don't die, you unlock them.

The six normal characters in the first game and the starting six characters of the second have alternative costumes in it. You normally cannot use them elsewhere.

I'll probably post more about these games later because I have a lot I could talk about. I will definitely post pictures too. Special pictures; the kind you won't see anywhere else.

WLC 6.C: Or Not Sexy

Having defeated the witches in honorable combat, Ling now has the chance to explore their lair.

Wasting no time, Ling crawls from the bedchamber back to the main room and enters the next corridor clockwise. These tunnels are as unsafe to navigate as the rooms are: misaligned walls, ceiling overhangs, random steps in the floor.

In the chamber Ling chose arbitrarily, she discovers a yellow-furred minotaur clad in leather armor lying amongst piles of random junk.

"Sheriff Honeycrisp?" asks Ling, "What the- How long have ya been down here?" Ling approaches and shakes the bull.

The sheriff is neither dead nor asleep, but trapped in magical stasis. As he would become an issue in-and-of himself, Ling decides to simply make a note of him.

L: Sleeping bruty would have to wait.

Silently scurrying, Ling looks for another passage. After discovering the kitchen, toilet, and a braintree arboretum, Ling stumbles upon a portal chamber. The dark spiraling tentacled maw shines an unnatural light onto the ceiling.

"Wait there, Dr. Ling," echoes a deep baritone in Ling's mind, "I have been expecting you." As Ling tries to think questions the voice answers them. "I am the entity those witches have attempted to sacrifice children to. Worry not, for I am holding them safe in a private subdomain. However, I cannot safely return them yet; unless I place them back in this specific cave with their kidnappers, they will be flung randomly into your plane. The contract I have mistakenly made must be undone as the trio have gleefully misrepresented my will. Connive a means for them to violate the pact (of which you must uncover yourself) and I shall strip them of the boons they have misused. Be warned, they have studied further arcana; at no point will they truly be defanged. I am asking a lot of you, but I will give you the proof you seek, for I am the teacher you were told of: the missing total six girls and a boy." The vortex adjusts showing Ling the missing children held in a weave of tentacles, eyes, and teeth. "Destroy this coven where my prior agent could not, Wizard Lizard, and I shall reward you."

Ling steps back out of the room, contemplating on both how to confront the coven and how much faith this elder god can afford.

J: And you trusted that? L: It was right; Hanzy was the only boy missing. I was still holding out hope that it was all a misunderstanding and no one was actually evil.

"What're ya prowling around for?" asks a tired Gudrun cloaked only in darkness, causing Ling to jump.

"Water," says Ling, recovering, "Forgot my water."

"Why'd ya come here?" asks Gudrun, low-key irritation growing in her voice.

An idea forms in Ling's mind. "Something called me," she says softly, walking ever closer to the dwarf, "Dark, dangerous." She stops right in Gudrun's face, "Deep." She licks the dwarf's ear. "Do ya feel it down here?"

Gudrun attempts to respond, but emotions and exhaustion cut off all attempts. She sputters, red in the face. Fortunately for her, it is at this exact moment that Zingiber prances into the scene.

"What are you two up to?" she sings, "Ready for round two?"

J: Do you really have to talk about this in front of Dalini. L: She's not listening to this story anyway. Not since ya put that huge cake in front of her. D: CAKE CAKE CAKE NOM CAAAKE L: Great parenting, by the way.

"Always, but I've got a question: what are ya beauties doing down here?" Ling says backing away from Gudrun. "Most witches I know stay clear of the Underdank."

"We're working with someone special," says Zingiber, "He's kind of a pain, though. He speaks in riddles and code. He'll say not to do things when he clearly wants us to do them. The eldritch are silly like that."

Ling nods along. "When's your mate showing up?"

"I guess I can message her; she'll want to meet ya." Gudrun heads back to the bedchamber. "Zinj, ya watch her."

"Absolutely!" shouts Zingiber, "I can show her all my cool murder and torture spells." The elf dances about, like a schoolgirl or an electrified worm.

"Ripper," mutters Ling, her hope bitterly dying.

Mr. Gamma ready to rock this world.

Mario Kart World Waluigi 🌹💜

Loving the crown hat!

Mario Kart World Rosalina ✨🩵

WLC 6.B: And They Were Broom-Mates

As Ling approaches the metal windmill, the ground under it groans and shifts. A chunk of land rises up, revealing a crude staircase.

"If anyone is still alive up there," demands a young woman's voice from the dark, climbing upward, "Identify yourself."

"A passing wizard," says Ling, "Who's asking?"

"I am the Gr- hold on, give me a second," says the voice, hurrying up the stairs. As she reaches the surface, she announces, "I am the Great Witch Zingiber, Herald of Calamity."

Zingiber is a tan elven woman, barely a few centuries old, with fluffy red hair. She wears an extremely dark red cloak. Her ruby earrings are so large that the bend her long pointy ears (as they are hooked into the tips). She posed dramatically when she emerged and sneaks a look with one eye to see what reaction she garnered.

"By the Gods," says Zingiber, dropping the pose into one of exaggerated shock, "You're Dr. Ling, creator of Tendon Tearer! It's such an honour!"

L: It was a nice feeling being identified for magic for once. Wish it had been my food magic...

"Ripper, my rep precedes," says Ling, "Sorry 'bout ya're spell minefield, but I couldn't give ya a bell."

"Don't worry about that," says Zingiber. She turn around and waves for Ling to follow, "Come in, please." She giddily kicks about before squealing and charging in.

Into the darkness, Ling descends. Her orb's shine guides her until a distant glimmer sparks into view. This staircase must reach into the Underdank. If that's the case, then the sheriff was half-right.

The room at the bottom is bare, lit by the single smokeless torch hanging on the wall. A large metal door stands in the far wall inscribed with runes.

"Apple crumble and filch," says Zingiber to which the door opens. "Let me show you around."

The cavern was carved in an uneven yet cubic way, a chaotic and artificial mess. The dark stone lit by yet more smokeless torches and splattered with dried blood. An arrangement of mini mesas form a set of table and chairs with small cushions set upon them.

L: The room was a tripping hazard deathtrap. One wrong step and there's a pointy corner in your face.

"This is our main room- oh, I NEED to introduce you to the rest of the coven!" Zingiber turns down a corridor and yells, "Gudrun! You'll never guess who's here!"

"This better be good, or they better be dead," grumbles a distinctly dwarven voice from down the way.

Stepping into the room in an extremely dark green variant of Zingiber's witchy robe is a brooding pale middle-aged dwarven woman. Her hair, beard, and overdone eye shadow are as black as the stairwell Ling just crawled down. Both her long hair and beard run through simple sapphire bands.

"Why'd ya let a stranger into our lair?" asks Gudrun, "What part of secret is escaping yer erratic brain?"

"But this is Dr. Ling," whines Zingiber, "The genius that created all those body horror spells I've been practicing. She's my inspiration."

"So, ya're the lovely partner to this little psycho?" asks Ling, "Where's the third?"

L: Not a fan of being labeled a body horror wizard.

J: Then stop making new body horror spells.

L: Those are my "stop trying to kill me" spells; ya have to keep making new ones or your enemies will learn how to counter ya. Anyhow, I knew I had to distract these two to search the place.

"Elsewhere," says Gudrun, "How'd ya guess?"

"All covens have at least three witches," says Ling, "But I guess I can be your third 'til morning." Ling licks her eyeballs.

Zingiber squeals again, but Gudrun seems hesitant.

"One of my idols wants my body," she says to no one specifically. She swiftly spots Gudrun's face and falls to her knees before her. "Please, please, please, please-please, pleeeeeeeeease. We HAVE to."

Gudrun shakes her head, "We shouldn't. Not without her."

"Well, if she wants to be an equal part of this relationship then maybe she should be living with us instead of leaving us alone."

"Fair," says Gudrun, "Alright, lizard, hope ya're better than my ex-hub."

"I'll get the honey and the chaaaains!" says Zingiber darting off.

"Wait," says Ling, casting a spell on the elf. The confirmation sign appears over her head. "Carry on." She turns to the dwarf, "So, ya and this one, huh?"

"Ma always said not to stick yer tongue in crazy," says Gudrun, "But what Ma don't know won't kill her."

"Strewth."

WLC 6.A: The Real "Disarm Traps" Spell

Ling looks upon the runic circle and scans the area. As she expected, the big trap is filled with various smaller traps, some more cleverly hidden than others.

"Bl'ell," says Ling, "Only one way to deal with this."

Ling conjures a herd of false deer. She directs the biologically accurate meat puppets to charge through the field while she hides a magic shield-tree. The traps and curses detonate with explosions of various flavors of energy. Flaming chunks of meat fly into the air.

When the cacophony ends, Ling peers out onto a wizardly warzone. Stone and ice statues stand over struggling half-sunken beasts, all coated in viscera amid the burnt field and corrosive pools. Several deer suffer from various disfigurations: extra limbs and openings (like Ling's own spell "Unwanted Orifices"), inside out (Sir Kenra's "Bodily Inversion"), and a torrent of diseases - both natural and magical.

"Guess I have a fan," mutters Ling.

A: You created that spell? Wouldn't have expected you to craft such a horrifying transfiguration. L: It only lasts a few seconds. J: Enough time to cause mental damage, sensory discordance, and intense physical pain. L: Yeah, that's how suddenly gaining and losing fully functioning body parts works.

The meat and deer dissipate, causing the crumbling of the now hollow statues. Holes remain where they had been trapped.

Ling still keeps her attention focused for more hazards as she approaches the broken windmill, carefully stepping around the lingering hazards.

WLC 6.9: Something Drawful

"What's this about witches?" asks Ling, "Got a lot of questions, really."

The svelte man stares at Ling, but she does not turn away. He does not blink, but she can't either.

"I'd rather not stare in a mirror all night, b*****d, says Ling, "Just write it down if you have to."

D: You weren't scared? L: Why would I? I've fought worse. Outsiders, ghost. His mindwarp aura was bodgie as sh-

The svelte man twitches and bends one arm the wrong way around to retrieve a set of parchments from his back. He awkwardly swings arm back around to present it to Ling.

L: Bloke just couldn't talk. Still don't know what he was.

The first crude drawing depicts three beings in pointy hats - one of whom is a furry creature of some kind- standing under a purple swirl that shines a light upon them. The second shows a goblin being lifted into the spiral. The third shows one of the pointy hats throwing a sword into a lake.

A: Ioana? L: Couldn't tell from his sucky drawing.

"Strewth, that's b****y clear," says Ling, "So what's your role, tall, dark, and spooky?"

The next picture is of the svelte man climbing/falling out of the spiral. Then one of several different small crying beings surrounded by eyes and teeth in the spiral. Finally, the svelte man being hit with beams from the pointy hats.

J: And you believed him? L: Enough to believe in witches.

"So, where are they?" asks Ling.

The svelte man twitches and jerks his body behind a tree.

"Ya could just draw me a f*****g map!" yells Ling as she scans the area for him. "Or just point!" She spots him leaning behind another. "Really going to make me chase ya?"

Ling follows the svelte man as he zigs and zags across the woods until he reaches a clearing with a small broken metal windmill barely standing in its center.

Ling detects the magic runes hidden in the dirt. This place is trapped to Hell and back. As the svelte man disappears again, the silence remains; nature itself is afraid of this place.

L: Laker and Faceboy could've been lying, but I'd only find the good oil probing these witches. J: And probe them, I'm sure you did.

6.8: The Woods, Man

L: What Ioana said was suspicious; so after she and Tanglepork fell asleep, I took a look 'round.

While setting off magic detection like a radar, Ling creeps through the house. She scrutinizes every trinket and trophy that crosses her sight. The house is too small to hide anything, but, alas, her search finds naught.

Stepping outside, the cold night air greets her bare head. It is an annoying reminder that she left it in the bedroom, too risky to fetch now.

Ling circles the cabin, checking the walls. However, the building is quite normal. While a part of Ling is relieved, another is frustrated. This dead end was a waste of the children's precious time.

Suddenly, the woods grew quiet. The wind stops, the bugs fall still. A presence, Ling feels; someone lurks amongst the trees.

"Yo," Ling calls out to the unknown. She quickly walks in its direction. "Wait, mate."

The presence does not wait.

When Ling reaches where she felt it, there is only a piece of parchment stuck to a tree. It says: Beware the Witches.

"What witches, mate?" asks Ling, "Gonna need a better b****y clue than that."

D: What are witches? J: It depends on the time. It was originally a political term used to oppress: an accusation of subservience to evil power. L: Then some claimed it as a rebellious term and some drongos thought 'evil power' sounded cool. A: And then evil powers thought more mortal servants sounded cool. J: Then other powers decided to do it too. L: So now it means a mortal who gets magic from some boss. J: Or feminist alchemists. A: Morality of any party involved: undefined. D: ...So, bad? L: Yes, this time bad.

Again, Ling could feel something deeper in the woods. She opens a door in space to its location.

The entity, a well-dressed, elvenoid over twice Ling's height with lanky limbs to match, stands hunched over affixing another paper to a tree. Its head twists around bearing Ling's own face.

"G'ev'ning," says Ling, "Nice to meet ya."

WLC 6.7: House Call

The shady little lady suddenly grew twice as large. Her outfit pulls apart as she returns to her natural size, exposing scaly limbs and belly. The dark cloak is barely a cape now. The gex licks her own eyes. "G'day, mate," she says, "This do?"

Dr. Ling puts her claw on the fake lycan, whose image fades away, leaving only a blonde gnome guardswoman behind.

"Sorry for wearing your daughter's face, Ma'am," says Tanglepork, "But we had to make sure the trail was safe."

"Why wouldn't it be?" Ioana squints her eyes.

"Chil-"

"Claims of a strange svelte man lurking out here," says Ling, "Leaving messages about."

"Oh, him," says Ioana, opening her door wide, thus allowing to see her fully. An elderly lycan, her fur is greying in numerous places. She is clad in a thick pastel floral-print nightgown. "Come in, dears."

They do.

The old cabin is decorated in many old furs, hunting trophies, and small bookcases. It is divided into three rooms a simple kitchen, a comfy bedroom, and the main room with a rocking chair and a stool by a fireplace.

The elderly lycan sits in the rocking chair as Ling closes the door behind her. "Come, sit," she says.

Tanglepork sits on the stool, while Ling manifests a bone chair.

"Now, what's this about that night creeper?" asks Ioana, "What has he done?"

"We're not certain yet," says Tanglepork, "But we suspect him of the kidnapping, or worse, of several children."

"Ya wouldn't have seen any kids of late, right?" asks Ling.

"No, only my little Loomy," says Ioana, rocking, "Last week exactly."

"How long has Note-boy been out here?" asks Ling.

"And what's he look like?" asks Tanglepork.

"Less than a week," says Ioana, "He's a tall elvenoid — twice an elf, in fact — in a fancy suit, like from the old cities, but his face: it's wrong." She rubs her paws on her face. "He looks like you- er, like whoever is looking at him."

Ling leans to the side and asks, "So ya've spoken to someone who's seen him too?"

Ioana face droops. "Y-yes, a few neighbors."

"Can you tell us where these neighbors live?" asks Tanglepork, "The woods are pre~tty~ big."

"Of course, I can, dears," says Ioana, eyeing them with a sigh, "But it's so lonely being so far out here. Could you stay a while longer?"

J: Mum, tell me you didn't. L: Does it really surprise ya...

WLC 6.6: Over the Hill

The duo took a moment to admire the tranquil pond. The sun and clouds reflect clearly on the slow water.

"So, that's a 'no' on the silver?" asks Loomy to the pond.

"Doesn't matter," says Bacon, "We should keep on."

So they do.

"No idea what you're talking about," says Bacon, glancing about the forest, "What kind of forest is this anyway?"

"Uh, cedar, i think," says Loomy, looking about for what prompted that question, "What about it?"

"It's nice, isn't it?" asks Bacon, face still hidden, "Trees are nice; I need to spend more time with them My favorite is cherry. What's yours?"

A: I'm fond of the candelabra spurge. D: Palm trees are cool, too.

"I don't.. have one...?" says Loomy, "Who does? How old are you?"

"Are you really asking me that question?" Bacon's voice strains against an unwanted emotion.

The bugs chirping and birds calling echoed over the silent valley between them. It would be another half hour before either would speak again. There were no encounters, no odd sights, nor clues of any kind.

"How far away does this woman live?" asks Bacon, "We have to be close, right?"

"Yeah, right over this next hill," says Loomy, "Wish she lived closer."

As the two top the hill, Bacon sees the old cabin. And if the old woman who lives here doesn't know anything, then this, the only remaining straw to grasp, is a dead end.

J: Mum, we know this woman did something. L: But ya don't know exactly what yet.

Loomy knocks on the door and something inside shuffles, muffled within.

As the door creaks open, an elderly voice beyond calls out, "Is that you, dear Luminița?" An eye peeks through the slowly widening gap. "You look like Loomy," says the old wolf, "But you don't smell like Loomy."

"Your granddaughter couldn't make it this week," says not-Loomy, "I can explain if you let us in."

"Ya must be Ioana," says the mysterious person formerly known as Bacon, "Nice to meet ya."

"Who are you? Where is she?" asks Ioana, words sliding toward a growl "Take off that disguise."

WLC 6.5: Weapon Identification

"To what end are you traveling, Loomy and Bacon?" asks the radiant lady of the pond, looming above the water, staring down at them. The two speak over each other.

"Visiting my bunica," says Loomy.

"Searching for danger," says Bacon.

"Both of these things?" Ms. Aurocor tilts her head, "And nothing more?"

The duo look at each other for a moment, understanding the risky nature of their situation, then Loomy says, "Some kids are missing. Have you seen any come by?"

"No, I have not," says Ms. Aurocor, "But, alas, I have been here nary a week." She sits in midair, crossing her legs. "And of that time, my focus has been inward. Only these discarded blades have stolen my attention, cast into me by parties unknown."

"Can we see them?" asks Bacon.

"Verily," says the lady diving into the lake, "Mayhaps, you can identify their owners." She emerges four swords held awkwardly in her arms.

The iron sword is a straight short-sword with a typical elven hilt, somewhat fancy, but not overly so. This could belong to anyone who could afford a blade.

D: What's a short-sword? L: A big knife. A: Technically, not wrong. They're usually no longer than sixty centimeters and are built to be used with one hand.

The steel sword is a great-sword with a dwarven-style hilt, a weapon for a true warrior. Unfortunately, warriors are common to Rankedge, but someone who lost a blade this well-crafted would surely be searching for it.

D: What's a great-sword? L: Bigger sword. A: Unhelpful, but still not wrong. It'd would be longer than you are tall, Dalini.

Held carefully between the other weapons, so as to avoid direct contact with Ms. Aurocor, the silver sword is a horrifyingly serrated bastard-sword of crude goblin-make; more an instrument of torture than anything else. It is stained with hardened blood. The girls cannot identify its owner, nor would they care to meet them. Yet, still, this may prove useful.

D: What's a bastard-sword? L: It's a b*****d's sword. J: Mum, don't say that. L: What? This bloody bastard-sword belonged to a b****y b*****d. A: It's just a weapon of a very specific size; longer and heavier than one-handed weapons, but shorter and lighter than two-handers.

Finally, the gold sword is a not a sword at all. It is a wave-bladed dagger with an upturned spiked hilt. This weapon is easily recognizable.

A: Silver, I understand, but why gold? L: Gold's a good conductor. Mages are creative.

"That's the sheriff's Tei Zing dagger," says Bacon, "Who could have taken that?"

"Whose to say she didn't drop it?" asks Ms. Aurocor.

"No way the sheriff would've thrown his favorite weapon away," says Loomy.

"Oh, 'his'?" says the lady of the pond, "Then it can't have been; I've only heard two fellows around here. One I know is not your sheriff, and the other I should hope isn't."

"Who are these blokes?" asks Loomy.

"My friend has business around here; he's an educator, of sorts," says Ms. Aurocor, "The other is a svelte ne'er-do-'ell who comes forth, looming around at night. He leaves strange notes and letters on trees. Avoid him."

"Is he dangerous?" asks Bacon, "That sounds important."

"No, he's just... annoying," says the lady of the pond, she retreats, blade in tow, back into her aquatic home, "Good luck, honest travelers."

WLC 6.4: They're on a Path in the Woods

Adjusting the tie on her red hood, a young lycan, barely a gnome tall, looks down the trail into the woods. The birds are singing, bugs are buzzing, and sun shining through the canopy. She picks up her picnic basket.

"Do you really have to follow me?" she asks the dark-hooded figure behind her, "It's just my bunica's house; I go every week."

The masked figure nods. "It's not safe to go alone," she says.

"You're shorter than me," says the lycan, "I'll have to protect you if anything is actually out here."

"Not the poi~ent~," sings the masked figure.

"Don't do that." The lycan skips along the path and her shadow drags behind.

"Just keep your eyes open for any queer sights."

"Like a pond that wasn't there last week?"

"Right~io~," sings the shadow, "Wait, is that it?"

The two stop and cautiously approach the waterfront through the grass. Because of their tall boots, the two feel safe from ticks and other bugs.

The shadow skips a stone across the pond. "Seems like real water to me," she says, "But where's it from?"

"Oh, you two, right there," says a sweet voice from the lake, yet unimpeded by the water itself "You wouldn't have happened to drop a sword in here recently?"

"No?"

"Are you sure?" asks the voice, sounding closer to the girls, "There are a few down here; one is iron, one is steel, one is silver, and one is gold."

"Not ours, sorry," says the lycan.

"But the silver could be useful," says the shadow, "Can we borrow it? Just for today?"

A light shines from the lake as an elf-like woman emerges. Her skin shimmering silver, her hair gold. The water flowing around her as a shawl, barely concealing her dignity. She stares down at the children. She attempts to smile warmly to them, but it just creeps them out.

"Greetings, honest travelers," she says, extending out an open palm, "You may call me Argentalms Aurocor. May I have your names?"

"I'm using it," says the lycan, stepping back, "Sorry."

"Mine was a gift," says the shadow, stepping forward.

Ms. Aurocor rolls her beautiful pearlescent eyes. "Then what may I call you, travelers?"

"You can call us Loomy and Bacon," says the lycan, "It's nice to meet you, I guess."

"Really nice to meet you," says the shadow presumably called Bacon.

WLC 6.3: Clueless

"I assume ya've checked with the few dwarves in town already?" asks Ling, pulling a pair of chairs out of the ground.

"Yeah," says Tanglepork, "None of them were hiring kobold kids for anything." She sits down. "So, it doesn't help."

"It does," says Ling, "At minimum, this dwarf comes near town every couple days. Likely lives nearby."

"That could still mean anything," says Tanglepork, annoyed, "Woodsman, hunter, bandit, merchant."

"So who'd hire a pair of schoolgirls?" asks Ling, "And for what?"

"Why are you so focused on this one?"

"If we know where this dwarf is, then we have a direction to start looking," says Ling, rubbing her temples, "Those two are the only clue ya've given me."

"We can't even confirm if this dwarf is real, Ling," says the deputy, shaking her head, "We've narrowed it down to only one possibility: the kids walked out of town. No magic residue, no un-alibi-ed adults, no signs of violence, nothing."

A: What's the point of this? If the wolf was killing kids, just say that. L: Who said she did? J: The story of us meeting on an eldritch cruise started with me doing a drug deal in the woods; give her a chance to set this up right.

"So why'ren't ya searching the bush then," asks Ling, "Why is the most secure exit being blamed? Something magical obvy happened to those kids, we just need to find where."

"We've already asked all of the parents," says Tanglepork as she sets her notes aside, "And none of the other kids are saying anything either. The only thing we could do is search blindly."

The two sit in silence for a moment.

"What if the culprit came to us?" asks Ling. As Tanglepork's eyebrow raises, Ling asks, "Any other kids leave town on the regular?"

"Tanglepork flips through her notes. "There's a little lycan who visits her grandmother every week," she says, "But we've told her parents not to let her while we're investigating."

J: Why would the sheriff bother if you're being blamed? L: Because if she went missing in the woods, that would mean... J: Understood, not the Underdank. Town would force the sheriff's hand. L: Town would've the sheriff's head.

"Does Nana Lycan know?"

"...no..."

"Then I've an idea."