I Think Waiting Together Is A Love Language. Wait For The Train With Me, So We Can Talk A Little Longer.

the swears that non-native-english-speakers come up with are absolutely fantastic sometimes. my friend just said “she is fuck as shit” instead of “she is fucking shit” and now i cant stop saying things are fuck as shit. the weather is fuck as shit. my homework is fuck as shit. phenomenal.

love pickles. a little pickle never killed nobody. Unless you’re in one. Then shit ain’t funny.

wade has two hands for a reason

It feels like I'm cheating 😭

when he said "atta boy" to agent zero my dick was so hard that i had to wait a solid 20 minutes before hitting play again

save me lumberjack logan howlett, save ME!!!!!!

Third base is getting stabbed in the stomach and slumping forward with your chin on their shoulder and blood dripping from your mouth

every time i complain about being single and having no hoes i want everybody to remember that i intentionally and strategically sabotage any opportunity i have to open myself up to a romantic or sexual connection because i’m a pussy and an idiot

oh no notes for me thanks i just wanted my post to be on this ugly ass dashboard next to yours

I love saying the word niche, it's so fun to pronounce

man i have GOT to do this thing. *doesnt do it*

fuck twins angst let's have stanley and stanford sit on the couch and watch some dumb soap opera drama and get so intrigued that they start waiting for the next episode every week and get on that couch every time a new episode drops