So Goddamn Sweet, I Want My Boyfriend To Be Like This!!!

So goddamn sweet, I want my boyfriend to be like this!!!

Your Missus coming home after another night out with the boys.

Kyle and Johnny had taken Simon out again. Good lot, those two. He needed it, desperately so in your opinion.

So when he came home in the wee hours of the morning, pissed beyond belief, so much so that Kyle and Johnny were practically holding him up, well...

You figured Simon didn't know where he was. He'd taken one good look at you, or rather through you if his blurry gaze was any indication, and slurred out, "...'m sorry, luv, but I'm a taken missus."

Yes. Yes, you are, Simon.

You helped the boys get him situated. Simon refused to leave the couch, though. You made Johnny and Kyle crash in the spare bedroom and busied yourself helping your husband out of his clothes. His back would be an outright bitch in the morning. You can't say you didn't warn him. "Yer a good one, mate," Simon slurred as he sluggishly helped you take his shoes off, "Jus' like muh missus."

"That so? What's your missus like?" If you can't beat him, join him.

"Bes' fuckin' thing," he started, burping before laying down on his back. Simon looked at the ceiling, eyes half-lidded, fighting sleep yet two seconds from passing out, "Made o'good stuff, lovin' a bastard like me..." Your heart swelled with love, pride, and a little sorrow. You'll make sure to triple the amount of kisses you give him. After his hangover, that is.

"Yer made o'good stuff, too, mate," he trailed off sleepily, "Gonna get a'good missus like mine..."

"And what if I already have him?" You asked as you draped a blanket over Simon. "...Lucky bloke, then. Kick his ass if he doesn't see it..."

Will do, Simon. Will do.

And when your husband woke up the next day, his back an outright bitch, head throbbing, and cursing Kyle and Johnny to high heaven, you recounted every single word he said.

He hasn't lived it down since.

More Posts from Choppedlambchops and Others

10 months ago
“The renowned British-Japanese visual artist HANA TAJIMA wore attire inspired by the Palestinian flag to the state banquet for the Emperor and Empress of Japan held at Buckingham Palace.” - Dr WR

People all across the spectrum are falling more strongly behind Palestinian… pic.twitter.com/BlZMy2CaGE

— The Curated Edit (@TheeCuratedEdit) July 11, 2024

“The renowned British-Japanese visual artist HANA TAJIMA wore attire inspired by the Palestinian flag to the state banquet for the Emperor and Empress of Japan held at Buckingham Palace.” - Dr WR

People all across the spectrum are falling more strongly behind Palestinian humanity and rejecting Israeli barbarity.

This will only going to get stronger and stronger.

It’s a marathon not a sprint!

Hana stated that she was wearing the colours of both Palestine and SUDAN. She wore items designed/made by Palestinian and Sudanese creators. Please don’t forget the suffering of the Sudanese people. https://t.co/H9GCofD12B

— Meg 🇸🇩🇵🇸 (@odetodaisie) July 12, 2024
6 months ago

Everyone has goth sex hormones it came free with your fucking existence.

7 months ago

you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc

You Know The Drill, Op Disabled Reblogs Etc Etc Etc
10 months ago

This is something that needs to be more recognized as the rule. I had a friend who was Catholic and trans. He was banned from many Churches and a few he was thrown out of because of this. He killed himself a while back, and a kind young man (probably like 16-17ish?) was the only other person at his funeral other than priest (who didn't really even want to be there), my late friend's girlfriend, our 3 friends (practically our shared family), and I. He didn't even really know my friend, but he still came to his funeral. Now that young man is a priest and when I have the chance I go to his sermon, even though I'm not Catholic, I'm not even Christian, but it's amazing to see him preach. Most of his church left after he retold the story about my friend and it's sad that people can't even feel sympathy or even feeling horrible for someone who killed themself because of their bigotry and hatred. But then they claim to be holy and that all sinners deserve to die and burn in hell, how are they saintly people if they wish death and pain onto others? Only because they don't worship the same or they don't worship the same God/deities or they don't worship at all? Just because they are different they deserve to die and "burn in hell", but they are good people, who will go to heaven and be in pure paradise and bliss. How is this your religion that you choose to follow, a corrupt religion that preaches hate that you call conditional love? And then you choose to ignore the real religion you claim to be a part of? How?

Say it LOUDER!!!!

10 months ago

Nothing screams you’re racist more than being threatened by the existence of characters of color & dismissively calling it “forced diversity.” It actually pisses me off so bad that brown & black people still have to deal with this in fandom spaces, when I’d argue that even when a character of color is involved they’re usually not as fleshed out as their white counterparts are

11 months ago

This is how I feel when I tell someone I wake up at 4:30 to run for an hour. Thank god I work third shift (I hate it).

choppedlambchops - Lamb Chops
11 months ago

This actually makes me feel a whole lot better. Unfortunately I believe it's my boyfriend's son that's doing that. Don't you just love 11 year olds telling you that you belong in the kitchen and you are such a waste of womanhood? I know I sure do! Oh he is also saying how I am in my "prime" (what the fuck does that mean! I need to know😭) and that I have such "wonderful childbearing hips", can't forget about that part. He's such a sweet, darling, normal child, who I don't have to fear for the girls around him!😅

choppedlambchops - Lamb Chops

Tags
10 months ago

HC that Ra's al Ghul knows internet slang.

Since he's been alive 600 years or so and obviously knows modern English, this means he regularly keeps up with language changes. He would thus be fluent in internet slang, even if he doesn't use it.

10 months ago

Just a reminder Elliot knight is a Zionist.

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choppedlambchops - Lamb Chops
Lamb Chops

Why can't I write decent stories? 27, She/Her

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