"Treat Others How You Want To Be Treated."

"Treat others how you want to be treated."

That phrase is one I've heard all my life growing up, yet it's clear how my family wants me to treat them.

My uncles want to be left alone, even in the worst circumstances,

my grandma wants to keep in touch and love me always,

my dad wants nothing to do with me (same as my sisters apparently) my brothers want space and nothing but space and for their annoying younger brother to stay away

and my mom.. well,

if she wants to be treated as how she treated me, then surely I should kill everything she loves, throw her to a rap!st for 1.5 years, bring men around that will treat her like shit (oh wait she already does that herself), betray her repeatedly, destroy her room and let crackheads sell everything/destroy everything she has, tell her no matter what she is to upkeep the majority of the house chores (yes even with fresh SH! cuts), tell her her medical problems are not only a burden but a detriment to how I'M living MY life and that she needs to think of the family when she complains about anything, call her a bitch, cunt, monster, manipulative, etc., call her just to scream at her for manipulating my friends into helping her get necessities out of life, neglect her in a trap house for 6 years with no outside support except begging neighbors for essentials like hygiene products, drivee with her in the vehicle but almost crash it about 5 times each time, demean, aggravate, punish, abuse her as she's abused me.

...And then tell her that she's not allowed to seek outside help or support, and not even utter a single fucking word about what goes on in the house, because as she's told me over and over, what happens in the house stays in the house.

And she still thinks she deserves forgiveness? She treats me like a criminal not knowing she's a serial killer of souls and hope.

I've forgiven her actions of the past, but that doesn't mean the pain and absolute agony of a life I once knew just disappears.