I Have Been Gaining And Losing The Same MOTHERFUCKING Kilogram For A Month This Is Not Okay

everyone in my life is so talented and passionate that i have to compensate for my uselessness with not eating

tumblr: *actively making me worse*

me: 😍🩷✨🥰💕😘

cheesestrings are my favorite things ever 60 calories for one, fun to eat AND the taste and texture are perfect for my autistic ass

day twenty three gang!

yes definitely, ive always wanted to be thin, and in asia (where im from) the beauty standard is to be skinny and pale, and im neither unfortunately. tbf i live in a western country now, so ive started liking my skin more

got termed again - new intro post ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

hihi new people !!

used to be arch444ngel and 4rch444ngel - i always post under #arch44ngel if you ever need to find me

to whoever keeps reporting me, please stop. you're not helping anyone, you're taking away the only place where i can talk about my struggles. like I've said before, i'm not pro anything, this blog is only ever directed at myself. if anything from my blog triggers you, please block and don't report, it only harms me if you do that.

welcome to my personal obsessive-compulsive n!ghtmare ˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

my name's risa

my pronouns are she/her

i'm from the uk

i'm a taurus sun, scorpio moon, and leo rising, and an infp-t

i'm 17 years old, but i will literally talk to anyone

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i have ocd, and i've struggled with disordered eating for around 5 years now. again, PLEASE block, don't report if anything triggers you. this is only a space for me to track my insanity and keep my obsessions all in one place.

please dm me, i am always, always bored. dm to be friends, to vent, to just talk, best believe i will reply.

i may occasionally post something about my struggles, but it is always only as a way to track my thoughts and basically talk to myself. i am very much pro recovery, my thoughts are quite literally uncontrollable, so this blog is only ever directed at myself.

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some of the very many things i'm obsessed with:

religious iconography - sort of obvious (i have crippling religious ocd and years worth of catholic trauma)

classics of all forms

music - i'm not joking when i say this is my life, here's my spotify

manifestation (yes i am one of those freaks, thank youuu. subliminals, crystals, and angel numbers control me.)

the marauders, tsh, dps, bowie (iykyk)

THE HUNGER GAMES - anything dystopian, really. suzanne collins is a visionary.

anything and everything luca guadagnino, wes anderson, and sofia coppola

lily rose depp, kate moss, enya umanzor, timothee chalamet, matthew gray gubler, harry styles - i'm bisexual, evidently

currently specifically obsessed with organic chemistry??? (you are amongst a stem neek with way too much brainrot and not enough motivation to revise)

'i am nothing in my soul if not obsessive' fr.

(and slightly insufferable, but its okay, here's my pinterest).

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currently reading to the lighthouse. i would recommend, if you want a good distraction. been very obsessed with massive attack lately, but i listen to literally everything. my favourite book is probably 1984, or anna karenina. my favourite song changes almost every day, right now, it's wildflower wildfire by lana del rey. my favourite movie also changes often, but i really really like palo alto - here's my letterboxd. my favourite tv show currently is criminal minds (PLEASE talk to me if you like cm, i need to theorise). 

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anyways.

stats:

height: 170cm (5'6 i think)

sw: 125lbs (56.7kg)

cw: 96lbs (43.5kg)

gw1: 115lbs (52.2kg)

gw1: 110lbs (49.9kg)

gw3: 100lbs (45.4kg)

gw4: 90lbs (40.8kg)

ugw: 85lbs (38.6kg)

bmi: 15.5

numbers do not define me. numbers do not define me. numbers do not define me (daily affirmations).

2025 will be a good year. 

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i guess that's everything. i just really need other people to be insane with. please, please block and don't report. and as always, i'm pro recovery, this is just my personal way of processing things.

please be my friend, i crave companionship. 

˚₊‧⁺⋆♱

stay safe skinnies x

love from risa

“you attract what you fear” ahhhh bmi 16 i’m so scared oh noooo ahh

was forced to eat lunch today because my friends told me i looked pale and sick yeah maybe thats bc i havent eaten since yesterday morning? tbf they dont know the extent of my 3d

THIS BECAUSE WHY ARE PROTEIN BARS LIKE THREE QUID

starving is surprisingly expensive

lowcal alternatives, water enhancers, multivitamins, etc

the sweet call of the edge of a cliff lures me closer and closer every day

day sixteen

ive always wanted to lose weight, and i got really depressed for my first few years of secondary school and got really chubby and i think thats when i properly started skipping meals and exercising more