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01/02/2020 - 1/100 days of productivity

Happy February! New month, new me? I’m going to do the productivity challenge again.

My mum visited me at uni today so I spent the afternoon with her in Birmingham. I decided to condense 3 handouts from my lecture course on carbonyl chemistry onto one summary page this morning before I met her, and I finished it off after she left to get the train home.

I decided to write up the mechanism for Swern oxidation even though it’s beyond the scope of the first year course; it helps me remember the conditions if I actually know what each reagent does!

We all forget things.

So today I was meant to give a presentation in front of my chemistry class, but I completely forgot and didn’t prepare anything. I was mortified when my name was called and I told her, “But I can’t - I’ve literally not prepared for this at all!” The room went silent and I felt so awful in that moment.

My chemistry teacher said, “I will see you outside.” And I thought I would get a bollocking. As soon as I got outside, I broke down crying, annoyed at myself because I never do things like that. I wanted to show her how on it I am and how well I can rise to challenges like public speaking, but instead I failed to follow a simple instruction and humiliated myself in front of the class.

So I went outside, ready to go on the defensive about why I should not be made to present. My teacher gave me the biggest hug and told me that I am only human - which is why she would let me do my presentation next week and just in front of her. She reminded me not to be so cruel and hard on myself, because I do that. I beat myself up over little things.

She told me that I have so much on my plate right now with university stuff as well as upcoming mocks that I should allow myself to be forgetful once in a while.

She told me that she is usually the most organised person ever but she forgets to bring stuff to the right lessons all the time.

She told me she doesn’t hate me, isn’t disappointed in me and all she wants is for me to stop stressing. And then she told me to go to the toilets and wash my face while she told the rest of the class not to talk about it.

My point is, it’s okay to skip a beat and forget something. It’s okay to admit you are only human.

And I am blessed to have a teacher who genuinely cares. How many people can say the same nowadays?

14/08/19 22:11

Less than 11 hours until I get my results! My plan is to wake up at 7am... except this plan is inherently flawed because it follows the (false) assumption that I will sleep at all.

I’m so stressed even though I shouldn’t be but I am because in this moment it’s a big deal even though it’s not really and oh my god why am I like this

I love bees!

save the bees🐝

11/4/19

Mindmaps make everything look so much more manageable

Today has been really productive. I went to school for two hours for some biology revision and then went to meet a friend for lunch. It was such a lovely day that I chose to walk the hour back home rather than catch a bus so I could listen to the audiobook version of Nineteen Eighty Four. However, as punishment for being healthy, I now have blisters on the soles of both feet :(

4/3/19

I hate electrochemistry so much but I’m trying not to make life harder for myself by creating a mental barrier

18/5/19

17 days until my first A Level exam!

Sorry I’m so inactive - I’ve just been getting speaking exams out the way for French and German.

French went amazingly; German not so much - but then my standards are very high so it will likely still get me good enough marks.

But now I can get stuck into my other 3 subjects! Not a fancy set-up this evening; just my favourite notebook and pens and my trademark cup of tea haha

I hope you are all looking after yourself during this stressful period - especially those who are taking exams, whatever level they may be at x

I wrote a letter to my uni friend today. Along with it, I sent her some homemade star confetti, a list of music and films I was enjoying (she shared her playlist with me first and I thought it was a cute idea), and a handwritten copy of my favourite Brecht poem, since we met each other in German class. I hope she likes them as much as I do.

22/2/2020

We love tutorials! Photo is a bit bad but it’s late and I feel bad for neglecting this account haha

24/09/18 - 13 days of productivity // Day 1 of 7 in my life

Despite the raging cold, this is what my Monday looked like!

07:10 Wake up!

07:15 Brain training using Peak while having a bath

08:20 Finally got out the bath... don’t judge it was cold outside haha

08:30 Dressed and ready to knuckle down. I had taken my meds and made a cup of tea.

08:30-09:00 Chemistry homework!

09:00-09:30 German quizlets

09:30-11:20 Maths

11:20-11:45 Lunch!

11:45-12:30 More Maths

12:30-13:00 Break with my mum

13:05 Bus to school

13:30 Arrival at school - their lunchtime

14:00-15:00 Biology lesson

15:00-16:00 French lesson

16:16-16:30 Bus home

16:30-17:30 Chill (Skyped friends today)

17:30-18:10 More maths! Arithmetic progressions and all that jazz

18:10-18:30 Tea time! (Or dinner, depending on where you’re from)

18:30-19:10 French homework

19:10 Pack my bag for tomorrow, relax in my room with a cup of tea and Le Père Goriot

21:00 My bedtime - non-negotiable haha