And then it would be chuuya and dazai that try to assure kunikida that he doesnt need to save everyone. That he didnt fail his ideals.
no but do you understand. kunikida being the one person who sees both dazai and chuuya as irrevocably human. dazai and chuuya each see the other as human but don't have the same faith in themselves. but kunikida. kunikida getting close with both of them, and finding the humanity in both of them. everyone else is so far away, so far below, everyone else sees the untouchable Double Black. everyone else sees the wake of their destruction, the craters left by chuuya's ability, the meticulous plans set up and executed by dazai, the infallible partnership that could level city blocks and take out entire organizations. everyone else sees them as gods, and dazai and chuuya see themselves as monsters, but kunikida--
kunikida sees them after the comedown. he sees dazai on his bad days, when he can't even drag himself out of bed, when it's more painful to hold himself back from jumping in the river than just letting the water fill his lungs. he sees chuuya post-corruption when everything hurts and dazai's touch is the only relief and he's vulnerable and willing to ask for help instead of just taking whatever it is he needs. he's seen them laugh at stupid jokes (both each other's and his own), he's seen them throw popcorn at each other during movie nights, he's seen them during the quiet moments when there's no performance, when they can just relax. he's seen chuuya without the hat and gloves, and he's seen dazai without the bandages. he's seen their pasts laid out on their skin in every scar. he's heard some of the stories and inferred others. he's seen them as Double Black too, of course - he saw the destruction caused after the dead apple incident and he's seen the darkness that lingers in dazai's eyes and he's seen chuuya come home with blood on his clothes and a grim expression on his face. but he's also seen chuuya half-asleep wearing a shirt that's too big for him and he's seen dazai light up at something as simple as kunikida making an extra cup of tea for him. he's seen the destruction caused in their wake, but he's also felt their hands on his skin, gentle, holding him like he's something precious. he's seen beneath the surface, and knows that they are neither gods nor monsters; they are just two humans who have never been told that is all they ever need to be.
may I suggest a Chuuya pixel sprite π
after much procrastination here he is!! Thank you for your patience ππ
At this point og bsd is more traumatizing than beast
Drying hair
Yes
chuuya's my scruffy cat and i haven't drawn him in a while so here's soukoku being dumb
Icarus faked his death. Crawled onto the shore, skin Sparkling gold and reddened And Apollo said, "your dad won't find us here."
- a post I saw on pinterest
akuatsulucy on their first date
Atsushi, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing.
Akutagawa: Okay, weretiger.
Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink?
Atsushi: Orange soda, please!
Akutagawa: I'll have the strawberry soda.
Lucy: Me too, strawberry soda!!
Atsushi:
Atsushi: What the hell, guys βΉοΈ
I need a fic or c.ai bot like that
I think the main part of my Chuuya overworks himself and is a chronic people pleaser headcanon comes from the fact actual Nakahara Chuuya's poem 'The Village Clock' is imprinted on my brain.
'The big village clock was working day and night. The clockface's paint had already lost it's shine. When I drew near, there were lots of tiny cracks.'
Not the full poem, but the lines that really stick for me. This is just Chuuya to me. Keeping going, keeping working, not smiling as much as he used to. Keeping up appearances. Keeping even his friends at a distance so they don't see he's not as happy as he used to be.
I agree in the latest chapters Chuuya looks tired as hell, but his eyes have always read as tired to me. He's always looked like he needed a nap (It took a moment to find a mostly neutral expression in his introduction because, well, the Dazai effect). The straight across upper eyelids and the rounded lower eyelids just scream "I'm too tired for this" to me
It's quotes from the Mayoi 'Joyous night' cards.
Kouyou: "Chuuya are you saying you can't have what I'm drinking? There's no need to worry so long as you drink in moderation. Surely you can afford a glass at a banquet." Chuuya: "What are you drinking Ane-san? Wine, is it? Interesting... No, I couldn't. I'm you're escort. If something were to happen while I was drunk, well... *sigh* Alright, maybe just a glass. This is a banquet, after all."
Like, yes, I'm fairly certain these are in reference to Chuuya being a lightweight and not wanting to get drunk at a fancy party. But it's also Chuuya not allowing himself to have fun. Kouyou realistically doesn't need escort, Chuuya was likely asked along because she enjoys his company.
It's wine. He collects wine and he won't even allow himself to indulge in his own interests because he's too busy unnecessarily worrying about Kouyou and how people will perceive him at the banquet.
It's the fact despite there being several high ranking mafia members introduced by the time of the three way conflict, Mori always uses Chuuya for his plans. There's really no need for an executive to be the one to check up on the hired assassins, or deliver information to the ADA.
Chuuya even remarks upon it himself, saying he didn't think himself fit for the role of envoy. But he does it because the boss ordered him to. He won't say no.
I don't think Chuuya is the same type of overworker Kunikida is. Kunikida has to have everything done right, he needs it done on time. He has a set of meticulous rules and practices to ensure it gets done correctly.
I doubt Chuuya is the type to be worried over his reports being perfect or "in on time" because he's part of the mafia. This isn't a day job. Sure, there probably deadlines where stuff is time sensitive, but again, Chuuya is an executive. He can delegate such work to subordinates if needs be. I definitely don't think he's above coasting his work and putting in minimum effort as long as the job gets done.
I think Chuuya is an over worker in the sense, that even if he's exhausted, even if he wants to go home and collapse, if Mori handed him another job, he'd do it. He has a hard time saying no to people and it carries over into his work.
And he has difficulty shutting off work mode once he's home. "Might as well sort those emails while I have some spare time" Turns into Chuuya unable to sleep hours later because he lost track of time, drank too much caffeine and has a migraine from staring at a screen for so long.
As for being a chronic people pleaser? Well, we mostly see that in Wan or the anthologies. As I've already stated, Chuuya has a hard time saying no to people close to him. It's important that it's not everyone. If he doesn't know them, he can and will tell them to beat it, if he wants to.
But show him a little of bit kindness? An ounce of respect? Be nice to him for a moment and the people pleasing button gets pressed. He goes about it in a round about way, he can't have you know that's what he's doing so Chuuya makes up excuses as to why he's doing it, but he does it all the same.
We see it when he buys Kenji dinner, or makes everyone shaved ice and plenty of other examples. He has to go above and beyond. He wants you to be impressed because he wants the praise, but he can't have you know that's what he wants.
The only person he doesn't do this with is Dazai. And that's probably to do with how they met at 15 (also because Dazai annoys the hell out of him). They met when Chuuya's people pleasing was at its worst, when he was King of Sheep and had next to no will of his own because Chuuya was too afraid of losing the Sheep to not do as they say. Dazai breaks him out of that.
For all they make the bet that Chuuya's his dog, aside from the odd joke, Dazai is never seen making good on that. He never orders Chuuya around like a dog, they are partners and he treats him as such. When Dazai witnesses Chuuya being treated this way by the sheep, he looks annoyed, he doesn't like seeing it. Chuuya being his dog was always just a silly joke.
Dazai being so annoying that Chuuya couldn't stand to do what he said helped Chuuya break out of some of his people pleasing habits and learn saying no was okay. After Dazai defected, I think those habits came back as Chuuya had to fill the role of Mori's right hand in his absence.
Shin soukoku
Akutagawa : I shall rip out your throat and celebrate your death but only if it is by my hands. If someone else kills you or even hurt you I shall rip them apart too
Atsushi: Only if you promise not to kill anyone for six months
Soukoku
Dazai : Let's do this.
Chuuya : Do what?
Dazai : Do crime Be gay
Chuuya : K
That's it. That's the difference. One is still in denial and the other is just...ignoring it for the time being
O acquaintance, grantors of dark disgrace, do not wake me up again.
i'm too good, i can make something like this everyday- motivation required thoπ