As A Welsh Person I Want You All To Accept That W Is A Vowel Because Honestly It Makes Pronouncing Acronyms

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I’m sure you get this question all the time, so I’m really sorry if this is repetitive, but how do you start screenwriting? I’ve been writing fiction pretty much forever, but I’ve recently had a few ideas that would work best as a TV show. How do you actually start? What do I need to know before my first attempt? Do you need any qualifications to become an actual screenwriter? Thank you so much!

Oh that's okay, I'd love to talk screenwriting! Seriously. Come drop in with screenwriting asks whenever you want to.

If the concept of screenwriting is completely new to you, I suggest you start reading screenplays to familiarize yourself with how to properly format and build one. You can find free screenplays to read here and here, or you can search on google for scripts of TV-shows and movies that you like. Watching movies and TV-shows is VITAL.

how many pages should my script be?

A quick guide to screenwriting

Switching from novels to screenwriting

What words in a script should be capitalized?

What is a beat?

The importance of mundane scenes (TV-shows)

Implying tone and using parentheticals

How do you write action lines?

Serialized or episodic TV? (TV-shows)

Tip for writing plot twists

Scripts I read

How to learn screenwriting at home (video format) (with a ghost)

A degree isn't necessary to become a screenwriter (but it's useful in terms of learning the industry and building connections). Most important thing is that you know your terminology, how to structure a script, and how to write a compelling story.

An NYPD detective is forced into an early retirement after a case gone awry. He moves into a small idyllic town in Canada. But the town holds a dark secret.

Except the secret in all his head. The town is actually as wholesome and idyllic as it seems to be.

The townsfolk are all just playing along with his investigation to make him feel better about losing his job.

In case no one told you growing up

Bras last longer if you let them air dry. Don’t put them in the dryer.

If you have a problem with frizzy hair, don’t dry your hair with a towel. It makes the frizzies worse. (I recently read an article that said to use a t-shirt? I brush mine out and let it air dry.)

Whites wash best in hot water. Everything else can be in cold - save on your electricity bill.

You can kill 99.9% of germs in a sponge by putting it in the dishwasher for a cycle or by microwaving it for 2 min (be sure to make the sponge damp before microwaving and to put a cup half full of water in with it and please DO NOT squeeze the sponge until it has cooled off)

Airing out your room/house and letting sunlight in every so often can decrease the number of household pests like silverfish and ants.

Black underwear is best during your period as stains are less likely to be visible.

To save money, put aside 10% of each paycheck into a savings account. It’ll add up.

Unless your hair has something on/in it (like grease or mud or something), using conditioner first can actually be the better choice. The conditioner holds in the good oils that help you hair look sleek and beautiful, which shampoo would otherwise wash away.

Speaking of shampoo - if you have long hair, washing just the bits that touch your scalp is generally enough. The rest of your hair gets cleaned with just the run off from your scalp.

If you put a tampon in and it’s uncomfortable/you can feel it, you didn’t do it quite right. A properly placed tampon is virtually unnoticeable by the wearer.

Apply deodorant/antiperspirant a couple hours in advance of when you need it. This gives the product the chance to block your sweat glands. Using deodorant just before going somewhere where you’ll sweat (this means walking outside for people in high humidity places) results in your sweat washing the deodorant off and starkly limiting its usefulness.

After running the dryer, use the dryer sheet from that load to brush out the lint catch - it gets everything off in a fraction of the time it’ll take you to get it clean with your bare hands. Paper towels also work well.

Wash your face everyday, or as often as possible. Forget which brand of cleanser is best. Just washing your face everyday will guarantee you clearer skin. And do you best not to pop pimples, as tempting as the urge may be.

Fold laundry asap after taking it from the dryer to avoid wrinkles. This may seem obvious for dress shirts and silly for things like t-shirts, but you’ll notice the difference even then once your shirts stop looking like unfolded paper balls.

People, especially games, get eldritch madness wrong a lot and it’s really such a shame.

An ant doesn’t start babbling when they see a circuit board. They find it strange, to them it is a landscape of strange angles and humming monoliths. They may be scared, but that is not madness.

Madness comes when the ant, for a moment, can see as a human does.

It understands those markings are words, symbols with meaning, like a pheromone but infinitely more complex. It can travel unimaginable distances, to lands unlike anything it has seen before. It knows of mirth, embarrassment, love, concepts unimaginable before this moment, and then…

It’s an ant again.

Echoes of things it cannot comprehend swirl around its mind. It cannot make use of this knowledge, but it still remembers. How is it supposed to return to its life? The more the ant saw the harder it is for it to forget. It needs to see it again, understand again. It will do anything to show others, to show itself, nothing else in this tiny world matters.

This is madness.

"There seems to have been a murder."

all of those funeral options like the tree pod or mushroom shroud or urn with seeds that "feeds" the tree are uhhhh, bullshit. unfortunately. if you want to be a tree when you die, be buried in the ground without a francy casket or embalming, and have a tree planted above you. this is the same thing as any of these hypothetical "tree pods" but it's skipping the scammy cash grab companies trying to capitalize on grief with fake ass science.

cremated remains will not "feed" anything, either. they'll probably impede growth, tbh. cremated remains are non-organic. what's left over after a cremation is hollow, dry, brittle bone fragments that someone like me sweeps up and puts in a big metal blender to create the smooth "ashes" one expects. By all means, go ahead and scatter ashes in nature, but don't expect anything to grow from them.

If you want your body to return to nature after death, go for a green burial or an at-sea burial. there are many dedicated green burial sites in the world, and one also has the option of simply being buried in a more traditional cemetery that allows for simple wicker caskets w/o a vault around them, and the body left unembalmed. If the tree thing is really your jam, go for burial in a dedicated green cemetery that allows your family to plant a sapling above you, or if it is available where you live have your body composted and use the soil to grow plants.

tldr; there are options for green funerals out there, and options for "becoming a tree," but I would not recommend going anywhere near products offering this such as tree pods, etc. as they are expensive scams preying on people's grief for their dumb start up. get composted or green buried 💚🌲 source: I'm a mortuary scientist and provider of both traditional funerals/cremations & green burial/at-sea burial.

I cannot emphasize enough how much you need to read thoroughly through the terms of any publication before you send your writing to them. It is mandatory that you know and understand what rights you’re giving away when you’re trying to get published.

Just the other day I was emailed by a relatively new indie journal looking for writers. They made it very clear that they did not pay writers for their work, so I figured I’d probably be passing, but I took a look at their Copyright policy out of curiosity and it was a nightmare. They wanted “non-exclusive, irrevocable, royalty-free, perpetual, worldwide license and right to use, display, reproduce, distribute, and publish the Work on the internet and on or in any medium” (that’s copy and pasted btw) and that was the first of 10 sections on their Copyright agreement page. Yikes. That’s exactly the type of publishing nightmare you don’t want to be trapped in. 

Most journals will ask for “First North American Rights” or a variation on “First Rights” which operate under the assumption that all right revert back to you and they only have the right to be the first publishers of the work. That is what you need to be looking for because you do want to retain all the rights to your work. 

You want all rights to revert back to you upon publication in case you, say, want to publish it again in the future or use it for a bookmark or post it on your blog, or anything else you might want to do with the writing you worked hard on. Any time a publisher wants more than that, be very suspicious. Anyone who wants to own your work forever and be able to do whatever they want with it without your permission is not to be trusted. Anyone who wants all that and wants you to sign away your right to ever be paid for your work is running a scam.

Protect your writing. It’s not just your intellectual property, it’s also your baby. You worked hard on it. You need to do the extra research to protect yourself so that a scammer (or even a well meaning start up) doesn’t steal you work right from under you nose and make money off of it.

The sugar bowl page from Austere Academy brightened up to the best of my ability and transcribed below:

It is a truth universally acknowledged that volunteers prefer their tea as bitter as wormwood and sharp as a two-edged sword, but few think to consider the true meaning behind that phrase. The [untrained or uninitiated] might assume that bitter tea means tea without sugar. But that assumes all sugar is sweet and all tea is bitter. In fact, there are many kinds of tea, that are not bitter at all, but sweet and fruity, usually identifiable by a whimsically [illegable] name and a box with a picture of an adorable animal wearing pajamas. So it stands to reason that, if not all tea is bitter, then not all sugar is sweet. The question we might ask is: why would sugar be bitter How would bitter sugar be created? And what greater purpose might bitter sugar serve? Lousy Lane, pg 678

THE SCHISM

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those hierarchies apart, and therefore instead of fixing one date for the schism, we may as well put a bracket around all of human history, and say: There! Are you happy? However, there is one thing that all sources seem to agree on: there is a vital connection between the VFD schism and the most import part of a tea set. No, not the teapot. (see “Sugar Bowl”, above)

Some people claim that the schism divided VFD cleanly in two, with one side devoted to starting fires, and the other devoted to putting them out. But of course, it is rare for anything to divide so neatly, with the exception of a particular sort of semi-soft cheese (see “Gorgonzola”, pg 401). No, it is far more likely

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remain shrouded in mystery, including the circumstances of its creation, we can only speculate at the connection between city’s official organization and its similarly-named counterpart. Some sources claim that the chief of the Offical Fire Department was a close blood relation of a prominent member of VFD, though this fire chief has stubbornly refused to answer to any of our questions, on account of being deceased.

Finally, there is much debate regarding the exact cause of the schism. While most experts agree that it stemmed from what one might politely call “philosophical differences” the truth is that these differences had been churning under the surface of VFD for some time, even going back to the organization’s very name. After all, while might assume that the phrase “fire department” would obviously refer to an organization that puts out fires, thus protecting highly flammable literary materials, the phrase could just as easily refer to an organization that prefers to start fires and burn books (see: Bradbury, Ray pg 451). Still, let’s take a moment to theorize about those philosophical differences. Volunteers claim to be acting for the greater good, but philosophers who speak to the concept of moral relativity would be quick to point out that words such as “good”, “evil”, “delicious” and “sandwich” can be ascribed different meanings, depending on the value system and dietary preferences of the

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