I Don’t Come On This App Often To Say How I Feel, I Leave That For Other Apps. But I Need To Get These

I don’t come on this app often to say how I feel, I leave that for other apps. But I need to get these thoughts out as soon as I think them.

I think a lot people at this time must not feel real and I need to know if I’m alone in this. Since the news of the election, I have never not felt so real as I do in this moment. It doesn’t feel good but it feels so real. So disgustingly dehumanizing. I’m forced to confront the future in ways I didn’t honestly expect.

First I fear for my sister who has had to live thru 3 times in a row my parents voted for him and she’s barely a teen now. How will life go for her?

I grieve too. As a lesbian who is of age to vote, I had that privilege, and I voted for my rights to be obtained as well as many in the country. Now I am forced to confront not only that, but I have to grieve for the fact my parents will not be in my life in the future. While I live in their home. With them, people who may be affected by the hell he will reap, I must sit here and obey. I fear they are too far gone to understand. I would be too scared to fight with them anyhow.

There’s too much. So much information, so little I could do to escape, too. I am fearful of the little kids in my life. So painfully I sit with my little cousins and hope that the future is good to them. So good to them in fact that history won’t have to repeat as it does now while they are conscious of the things around them.

I hope this turns around. And if not I hope it is the fastest 4 years of my life. If it even stays at that.