Gotham Water Is Toxic As Shit, And The Biggest Bill People Have Is Buying Bottled Water From Other Places

Gotham water is toxic as shit, and the biggest bill people have is buying bottled water from other places so that they can drink water.

Until.

A new invention gets introduced, from a kickstarter.

It takes off, and practically overnight becomes the next big thing, the creator becoming a millionaire.

But he doesn't run off with the money. He actually makes the invention and starts up a legitimate business that has payment plans for anyone.

The invention?

A filter that attaches to the sink faucet, or goes in the water towers (there's large versions for this). It uses moon rocks along with other weird things to filter, but test after test confirms that it creates the purest, healthiest drinking water.

The inventor is Tucker Foley.

What's actually happening is that there's tiny ecto blobs hidden in the rocks, which are actually from the moon (Danny ate the radiation off of them), and those little ecto blobs fucking love the toxins in Gotham's water. They'll eat 'em right up.

Problem; now the water companies that were making a living overcharging Gotham residents are hiring hitmen to take Tucker Foley out.

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More Posts from Candle-burner and Others

2 years ago

glad to see the looney tunes show is trending again cause that shit was GREAT. 

2 months ago

A proposal

Sometimes, in fandom, we just want to write id-tastic fic that rolls around in tropes that might be viewed as problematic. But we don’t want to address the problematic side of things in this particular fanwork; we just want to roll around and wallow.

It is considered courteous to give readers a heads-up via use of AO3 tags. I propose a tag that signals that a given fanwork is for rolling around, not giving a measured evaluation of anything. The MCU has carved out a space for this sort of fic with the “HYDRA Trash Party” tag, for which I commend them. Trash Party is a bit too specific to cover all of the ground I’m thinking of here, though; I propose “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.”

For those of you not familiar with Arrested Development, Michael Bluth finds a paper bag in the freezer labeled “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat.” He opens the bag, finds a dead dove, and reacts as follows:

A Proposal

[gif of a white man saying “I don’t know what I expected” in a deadpan manner]

The “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag would essentially be a “what it says on the tin” metatag, indicating “you see the tropes and concepts tagged here? they are going to appear in this fic. exactly as said. there will not necessarily be any subversion, authorial commentary condemning problematic aspects, or meditation on potential harm. this fic contains dead dove. if you proceed, you should expect to encounter it.”

(more at KnowYourMeme: http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/i-dont-know-what-i-expected)


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2 years ago

Incorrect Batfam Quotes

Goon 1: Last night, Batman paid the boss a visit, and Robin picked up a grenade someone left on a crate, and let me tell you…

Goon 1: When Bats yelled “Put that shit back” so loud, you know what I did?

Goon 2: You put your own shit back didn’t you?

Goon 1: I put my own shit back.

1 year ago

Jazz rested her chin on her folded hands that hung on Danny's shoulder. Dani sat in front of them going over the contract their summoners had provided.

Summonings were rare for Jazz. Rarer still, were that her siblings had been summoned with her. Most only bother with calling for one of them.

Jazz mostly ignored the call. Summoning was a two way street. If one side didn't consent then the ritual would fail.

More often than not the callers were kids or drunk college students playing with things they really shouldn't. Or it was someone that wanted her to conquer or destroy everything between a kingdom to their realm.

Jazz's liminalness allowed her to sense the emotions of her caller. From that she could more than guess why they were summoning her. Gleeful emotions were to be fully ignored.

This summoning wasn't like that. Desolation hung in the air. Almost palpable.

That and mild curiosity of her siblings being called too was what brought her over. There weren't many left that could give one of them a run for their money. Let alone the three of them.

Jazz hadn't spoken much after she arrived. Content to let her brother ask the important questions as she switched between looking for red flags with the emotions of the strangers that lingered outside the summoning circle and skimming the twenty page contract over her sister's shoulder.

Jazz snorted as she watched Dani write ‘NO’ in big letters next to a crossed out paragraph. Dani flipped the page over to its blank side and continued writing.

A door swished open. A figure with a red hood pulled over his head stood there. His head bowed over a tablet.

Jazz watched the newcomer as he made his way to another guy in red with a quiver and bow strapped to his back.

He must have felt her stare by how he turned his head.

Jazz stiffened when he made eye contact.

A ringing filled Jazz's ears. She slipped away from Danny's side.

She knew those eyes. Younger and paler. They haunted her memories.

She didn't register the sparks shooting off her shoes as she crossed the summoning circle's outer ring. Its runes glowed brighter as the barrier woven within put up a futile fight. With a flash the spell broke.

Jazz didn't even notice the pulse of fear that ran in the room. Too focused on someone she thought she'd never see again. He had to recognize her. She hadn’t changed that much since the last time she saw him a decade ago.

Weapons were drawn. Red Arrow notched an arrow. Drawing it back as he aimed warningly at Jazz. Nightwing and Batman rushed to intercept her.

Danny snarled for everyone to stand down.

Jazz continued treading forward. She stopped only when he took a step back from her. To many emotions flashed through him, wrapping tight around a ball of confusion.

“Jason?”

3 months ago

The Finished Animatic!!!

I’m so excited to share this with everyone!! This is definitely the biggest project I’ve ever done before and I’m so proud with how it came out

Enjoy the little gay ghost guys!!!👻👻👻


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7 years ago
If You’ve Read Please Get F*cked Responsibly, You Can Imagine Why I Nearly FELL OUT MY DAMN SEAT AND

If you’ve read Please Get F*cked Responsibly, you can imagine why I nearly FELL OUT MY DAMN SEAT AND DIED ON THE FLOOR when Lotor said this line. 

Like, HOW DID I KNOW?!?

1 year ago

Doc. How much would it cost for you to do a drawing of Jason with his white streak? You absolute god

Doc. How Much Would It Cost For You To Do A Drawing Of Jason With His White Streak? You Absolute God
Doc. How Much Would It Cost For You To Do A Drawing Of Jason With His White Streak? You Absolute God
Doc. How Much Would It Cost For You To Do A Drawing Of Jason With His White Streak? You Absolute God
Doc. How Much Would It Cost For You To Do A Drawing Of Jason With His White Streak? You Absolute God

“Sick puppies.. cold shower, cold shower... Bruce’s face....”


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1 year ago

DcxDp prompts

2/4

Danny Fenton, a new student at Gotham University, is 100% going to be a villain. Everyone knows it. The teachers, the students, even the dean knew that Fenton was destined to become a terrifying rogue. They all also were going to delay it as much as possible.

No one ever picked on Fenton, and any bullied kid quickly learned to flock to him, and he’d protect them. The teachers and RAs learned to turn a blind eye to the explosions from the student labs, and anytime Fenton had trouble in class, his friends quickly helped him understand so he wouldn’t get upset.(teachers debated on just marking everything correct, but they didn’t know if that would offend him more)

Everyone knew Fenton was a tragedy away from becoming the next Gotham Rogue, and given how he managed to build a rocket launcher for paint ball with half an hour, no one wanted to know what he would do with real anger behind him.

Danny loved his new school! Everyone was really nice to him. His friends were always willing to help him when he needed it, and always hyped him up. The teachers were always nice to him, and no one bothered him when he was inventing. The best part was no one bullied him! He loved Gotham.

His only concern was why his classmates got so pale when he talked about the local villains.


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1 year ago

Alley Drunk! Danny AU- Pt. 4

[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3]

Danny blinked down at the cart, where a red hoodie and pants with red stripes along the side laid over the lip of the cart. Considering they’re in this universe’s brand of Marget- seriously, who names a store Target? If anything in Amity Park was named that, Skulker would have wrecked it in five seconds flat- it’s hilariously on brand. Though, to be fair, this was Gotham’s version too, which meant a lot of security guards (who definitely doubled as goons for the Rogues, Danny was sure) and the vibes were spooky.

“I’m guessing red’s your favorite color.”

Instead of the humorous way he meant the sentence, Jason looked up anxiously and Danny immediately hated himself a little bit more.

“Sh- I can put it back..?” Jason hunched in on himself.

Danny tracked the movement with clearer eyes than he’s had in a long while and ancients, does it remind him of how Dani was in front of Vlad all those years ago. And Danny has spent his entire half life being not like Vlad, so he’s not going to start now.

“Nah, you should definitely add some more stuff. This is no where near enough clothes.”

It really wasn’t. Danny had taken Jason to the store to pick out clothes- “Ther’s a second hand store down the stree’, ya know,” Jason had mumbled when they went through the doors- but the kid had only tentatively put in a small red hoodie and some pants in the cart. Now he had to put this in a way that’ll wipe the stubbornly hesitant look on Jason’s face off.

“Think about it this way, then. You’re repping me now, and while I might be the alley drunk, I’m not the poorly dressed alley drunk, yeah?”

“Oh. Tha’ makes sense.” Jason nodded to himself determinedly, and the kid strode over to the t-shirt section. For all of his confidence, he still glanced back to see if it was okay with Danny.

Well, Dani was the same way before she found her confidence (when she knew Danny wouldn’t abandon her or hurt her) so Danny just gave him a thumbs up before reaching into the rack and sweeping an armful of clothing straight into the cart. Then, he strode over to the jackets and grabbed the ones in Jason’s size and slightly bigger. Oh, he has to grab shoes. He’ll leave that for later, but Danny was going to get those ratty trainers off of Jason’s feet and into the nearest trash can if it was the last thing he does.

The halfa hummed, pausing at the first decidedly not miserable sound he’s made in a while. Dammit, if that wasn’t a sign of Danny’s attachment to Jason, he doesn’t know what would be. To be fair… Danny already committed murder for the kid, which was pretty much something he thought he’d never do, so in for a penny out for a pound or whatever.

He put a significant amount of the budget aside for the section labeled “JASON” so Danny shopped without a worry. Charlie’s ill-gotten assets were a good monetary compensation for his crime of existing near Jason or existing, period.

He picked up toiletries, toothbrushes and the like, when Jason came back sans t-shirt. Instead of a shirt- Danny had actually hoped that Jason would try to get multiple shirts- Jason was clutching a book.

Before he could even voice anything, Danny plucked the book out of his grip and put it into the cart with a disarming smile.

“Oh, good idea. We should get you books too. Wanna go pick out some more?”

“Uh- y’re just gonna get a book, just like that?”

“More than one book, I should hope. You are going to school, right?”

“…Yeah!” Danny couldn’t fathom ever being excited at the thought of school, but as Jason bounced away to peruse the admittedly poor selection of books, Danny couldn’t help but think that maybe he should give this education thing another try. Who knows? Maybe it’ll be less stressful now that he’s not Phantom.

Danny walked to the aisle next to the books and promptly proceeded to shove every single piece of stationary he thought was nice- pens, gel pens, cooling pens and pencils, a thick stack of notebooks, flash cards, etcetera- into the rapidly getting full cart.

Jason came back with three more books- nice, the classics- and froze at the sight of the cart.

“Oh, hey. Getting all of those?”

“Wha’- wha’s wit’ the stuff?”

“School supplies! Quality education starts with quality supplies, you know!” Danny said, a sliver of the grin that used to come so easily to him making an appearance on his face. "Don't worry, I budgeted. See?"

Danny handed Jason a piece of paper, confident that the kid would know if it was good or not.

"Where'd... ya get all of this?"

"Hmm... here and there."

Jason looked up at him, squinting suspiciously. "I hear' Charlie's gone poofed up."

Danny shrugged and put a calculator in the cart. "Oh, I'm sure he's busy."

Yeah, Danny thought vindictively. Busy being dead.

"Ya sound like a walking con," Jason said as he visibly decided to give up fighting against Danny's spending. "We nee' food."

"Gotcha. Well, if you need anything else, just bring it into the cart."

"I want veggies. Frozen, 's cheaper."

Danny nodded, resisting the urge to ruffle Jason's hair.

----

"Hey, you's the Alley Drunk, right? 'Bout that boy you've been toting ar-"

Danny punched the guy in the face, dropping him like a stone. He looked up slowly and swayed.

"Any of you ask about my kid brother again, and I won't bother with being drunk when I hit you."

Rapid nods. Danny shuffled away, satisfied.

----

Two weeks later, after a school day, Danny finds Jason heading to the bathroom with a box of...

"Hair-dye?"

Jason, who was marginally more relaxed and assured that Danny wasn't going to kick him out, nodded.

"Dye's fadin' n' I dun wanna get nabbed on the streets for having red hair."

Danny blinked. "You have red hair?"

"Sure do. See? Roots are showin' again." Jason pointed at his scalp where Danny could see the hair was getting lighter.

"Right. Well- I'll leave you to it. Let me know if you need help, kiddo." Danny said, desperately hoping he hid how off kilter he was feeling well.

"I don't need help, ah've been doing this for ages." The kid went into the bathroom and closed the door harshly. When the lock clicked and the faucet began running, Danny let himself slide down the wall into a crouch, hands cradling his head.

Red hair. Blue eyes. Tan skin. The facial features. The intelligence and empathy.

Danny chuckled hysterically under his breath.

Was Jason this universe's version of Jazz?

"Fuck."


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candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
Soul Possesing A Body

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