Valerie Gray Gets A Security Job In Gotham

Valerie Gray gets a Security Job in Gotham

So, basically, Valerie's dad gets a new high paying Security Job at Wayne Tech, and he decides to bring his daughter into the Business since she can use her Red Huntress Skills

Not like she's gonna have much use for them, Phantom managed to establish a peace treaty between the Ghost Zone and Amity Park, so now there's no need for a Professional Ghost Hunter/Hero.

Also, she kind of needs to get away from that period in her life, and maybe move on from her breakup with Danny (and the argument that happened after the reveal)

So Val applies for the Wayne Tech Job alongside her dad, and during the Interview she manages to reveal most of her secrets, by the virtue of the face that she doesn't really care anymore. Not like it matters at all.

...

Interviewer: So, do you have any reverent work experience?

Val: I'm a retired successful Superhero from Illinois, Red Huntress, and I managed to fight off multiple Other Dimensional beings during that time. I also have experience traversing dimensions if that's helpful.

Interviewer: Uh...

...

Interviewer: How do you feel about fighting super-powered Villains once a week?

Val: Please, those guys are cool and all, but many of the Ghosts I've fought have the same powers but dialed up to eleven.

Interviewer: OK, gonna have to look that one up later...

...

Interviewer: How would you deal with attempted Theft by a Super-powered Rouge?

Val: Aim for the knees.

Interviewer: Can you elaborate?

Val: Aim for the Knees. Then the [REDACTED]

Interviewer: Remind me not to get on your bad side...

...

Inrerviewer: How do you feel about potentially/probably dying on the job?

Val: Basically everybody in my town is so Ecto-Iradiated to an absurd extent. If I got killed I would just become a Ghost and be back in by Monday.

Interviewer: OK that's just ridiculous

Val: My Ex's dog, Cujo, was killed while working as a Security dog, and came back to work the next week. If he can do that, I can do the same.

...

Interviewer: *pulls off fake Groucho Marks glasses to reveal Tim Drake* I regret deciding to review this batch myself.

More Posts from Candle-burner and Others

2 years ago

glad to see the looney tunes show is trending again cause that shit was GREAT. 

1 year ago

hey so your jaytim art has given me permanent brain worms and i love all of your comics - i was wondering if you have any fic recs of them? thank you!!

I also have jaytim brainworms.

Fic recs, in no particular order:

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/48258529 (incomplete but currently obsessed with this)

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672923

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/48390700

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/48158206

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/3419555

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/959767

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/43896162

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/12665469

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/39897726

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/38062399

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/3545531

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/30423240

- https://archiveofourown.org/works/6153868

I am personally writing uhh… like 3 different jaytims rn. No idea if/when they will be posted bc summer = sludge brain. But we’ll see.

2 years ago

So I binged the entirety of How To Build a Sex Room last night and this one scene just cracked me up

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So I Binged The Entirety Of How To Build A Sex Room Last Night And This One Scene Just Cracked Me Up
So I Binged The Entirety Of How To Build A Sex Room Last Night And This One Scene Just Cracked Me Up

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

So I Binged The Entirety Of How To Build A Sex Room Last Night And This One Scene Just Cracked Me Up
So I Binged The Entirety Of How To Build A Sex Room Last Night And This One Scene Just Cracked Me Up

The professional disgust, I'm living

So I Binged The Entirety Of How To Build A Sex Room Last Night And This One Scene Just Cracked Me Up
2 years ago
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far
My “draw The Squad” Memes So Far

My “draw the squad” memes so far

5 years ago

a butter me is coming.

candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
1 year ago

Dc x Dp prompt #13: Hell to Pay

They say there are only two things certain in life: death and taxes. That’s why even the Joker doesn’t fuck with the IRS.

However, unfortunately for the Joker the other certainty is death and he has yet to pay his dues. Just like how he could only get away with tax evasion for so long, there are only so many times the Joker can dodge death.

Death is coming to collect, with interest.

And the Joker will have hell to pay.

~ A dark green cloud swirls over the city. From it, emerge three oppressive figures:

The one on the far left with flowing hair like white-hot fire. His vambraces made of (what appeared to be) molten glass stopped under his fingers, which then extend into into claws that seemed to drip lava. He had spiked obsidian pauldrons on his shoulders, fastening a luminous, stark-white cape to his shoulders. He wore a coronet of lightning and wielded a flail that appeared to be made of coal chains and a shrunken Red Giant star.

The second on the far right had a helm of dark iron wreathed in a plume of purple flame. His gauntlets and sword flamed with green hellfire. A pure black sheath seemingly made of void and a silver hunting horn were tied to his waist. He wore an armor forged of shadows and proofed with fear. He rode atop a mighty stead. An inky dark stallion with a curved horn and bat-like wings. His form was constantly slightly shifting depending on the angle which viewed him making him appear larger and more slippery than he was, enhancing his disquieting nature.

The third stood in the middle, smaller but no less terrifying than her companions. Her hair was wild with movement, only just visible because it appeared as if someone had bound the winds to her head. She wore a tiara made of storm clouds and pearls. She carried with her a spear, the shaft crafted of amazonite and the tip of a clear quartz, almost reminiscent of sea salt. At her hip lay a whip made of a restrained gale and a sea glass knife. She wore armor that appeared to be Greco-Roman in origin: a chest plate made of some sort of coral-like material and a battle skirt decorated with metallic bronze feathers.

They slowly descent on the city, bringing down a sense of power and dread. They paused at the top of Wayne Tower, where the city's vigilantes had all gathered in an attempt to create and feasible plan of action to discern what these beings want. The young woman in the middle speaks and the wind carries her voice. She is not loud but it the whole of Gotham hears her words.

"Greetings, Heroes of Gotham. It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Spirit, Princess and Head Diplomat of the Infinite Realms. This is Samhain, the Fright Knight, loyal knight to the king,” she gestured to her right before switching to her left “and this is Prince Wraith, current General in Chief of the Realms. We come to you as the King’s Guard and entourage. We have official business in your city and wish to civilly notify you of our presence. The King will be arriving shortly and your cooperation would be great fully received.”

Batman moved forward to shake her hand and address the situation.

“I’m afraid that we prefer not to have unknowns operating within the city. Would you be able to tell us what business you have here? Perhaps we could reach an agreement?” Batman tried to negotiate as politely as he could. He did not want to risk offending the evidently powerful beings.

Princess Spirit’s smile sharpened as she thrummed her finger against her knife. She spoke again with an unnervingly pleasant tone.

“It appears you do not understand. We are not asking for your permission.” Her grip around his hand tightened. “ We are informing you.” She finished releasing his hand.

Batman withdrew his aching hand and regarded her with the beginnings of a protest on his lips. She didn’t allow him to speak.

“ This is out of your jurisdiction Batman. This is a matter of the Realms and the Afterlife. Whatever worldly rules or morals you wish to impose on those who enter this city do not apply to us. We will do our best to work within them, so as to appease you and to attempt to maintain a friendly relationship but in the macrocosm of the multiverse and afterlives you have no official power over us. Additionally, we have direct permission to operate here however we see fit from the City Spirit herself, Lady Gotham.”

Batman’s shadow seemed to fluctuated. His and his teams shadows moved from beneath them, closer to the Princess. Lady Gotham, though not manifesting. Was making her presence and approval known. Batman could not deny what he was seeing. His team shifted uncomfortably behind him. He appealed to her once more.

“ I see that we can’t stop you. We don’t want to get in your way either. Could you at least tell us why you are here?”

She smiled as if telling a joke, “All will be revealed in time”

Suddenly, there was a loud noise that sounded like tearing fabric. The green clouds mixed with purples and blues and began to churn faster. The cyclone emitted a flashes of bright light. In unison all three of the King’s Guard lifted up from the roof and took place underneath the eye of the wind storm.

Spirit holds her spear aloft. With one swift, commanding move she slams the butt of her spear down, creating a platform out of solidified air.

Wraith bellows out smoke and ash onto the platform to discolor it. With ferocious and precise movements his claws to carve in a sigil, leaving a soft orange glow against the black and gray.

Samhain sheathes his sword and pulls his horn from his waist. He wills his dark stead to rear up as he blows the horn, letting out one loud prolonged cry.

The three warriors stand at attention and Princess Spirit calls the winds to project her voice once more.

“ Now introducing the Ruler of the Infinite Realms, High King of the In-Between, The Great One, The Benevolent King, The Peace Maker, The Guardian of Souls, The One with the Cloak of Stars and the Crown of Frozen Light, The Perfect Balance, Ancient of Space and Reality, The Infinite King: Phantom!”

With a flash of white light a figure appear in the center of the platform. Simultaneously, the three knights bow in reverence.

The King has arrived.

As the Heroes of Gotham regain clear vision they are met with a striking figure.

There stood a toned young man appearing both boyishly young, yet wisened and weathered. He had side swept hair the creeped to the bottom of his neck. His skin was pale with an icy blue tint. He opened his eyes to reveal they shone an electric green. Upon his head rest a crown made of a crystalline material, reminiscent of an aurora. He wore a navy blue cloak that had a rich purple hood lined with stark white fur. The underside displayed a shifting galaxy pattern. His under suit was the same midnight black as Samhain’s. He donned golden arm bands and a gold chest plate in style quite similar to Spirit’s. His hand were covered in snow white gauntlets that matched Wraith’s vambraces.

They all stood in awe, beholden to the almost divine figure.

The king sent them a gentle smile. It was warm and comforting yet sent a chill down their shoulders.

King Phantom began to fly down toward the center of the city, his entourage fell into step behind him. He hovered several hundred feet over Wayne tower and looked down at the city. He then spoke in a booming voice, his tone kind but commanding.

“ I humbly greet the Lady Gotham, her champions, and her citizens,” the shadows curled toward him appreciatively. “ I am grateful for your cooperation in our effort to rectify a great injustice. As High King of the Infinite Realms it is one of my duties to preside over the afterlife. To bring guidance, peace, and justice to the souls under my jurisdiction. Recently, it has been brought to my attention that there is a soul among you who has not only dodged death, but caused great strife to a vast number of souls who call for justice.”

On the roof of Wayne Enterprises Jason and Damian both stiffen, but remain firm in their gaze toward the king. The king looks out at the city and sparing them the quickest of glances. He continues onward.

“ The man formerly know as Jack Napier, now called The Joker. He has avoided death on many an occasion but his life should have ended moment he fell into a vat of chemicals. Since then he has sent hundreds more to the afterlife. He has long yet to pay his dues. That is why on the behalf of justice, restoring balance, and of my subjects I officially condemn Jack Napier.”

“Jack Napier, you have been allowed 24 hours turn yourself into our custody in order to be put on trial for your crimes in the Infinite Realms. Should you fail to turn youself in, we shall take that as an admission of guilt and acceptance to be punished for your actions. After the 24 hours are up, Samhain shall use his horn to summon The Hunt and we shall track you down.”

His gaze passed specifically over Red Hood, one of the Oracle’s drones, Nightwing, Signal, Red Robin, and Batman before he spoke his next words.

“All those souls who have been wronged by the Joker, both living and deceased, who wish to have a hand in their justice have been invited to join The Hunt if they so choose.”

The king lifted his hand, calling the swirling green clouds to his gather in his palm. The clouds swiftly rearranged themselves into a smokey timer hanging in the sky.

An impish smirk graced King Phantom’s face as he let out a malicious laugh and gave his final decree.

“ Your time begins now!”


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1 year ago
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
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candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
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candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body

Dyslexic adventures!

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ristay
www.webtoons.com
The horribly awkward, unique and embarrassing stories of ristay.

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5 years ago

Hair band for giants

candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
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candle-burner - Soul Possesing A Body
Soul Possesing A Body

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