you know what really gets my goat?
AU where Jason gets over his theatre-kid need for dramatics and heat never reveals his identity to the batfam. In fact, he HIDES his identity so well that no one ever finds it out. It’s been years since Red Hood popped up and at this point he’s an unofficial vigilante with crime lord tendencies than anything else
then people start getting suspect . . . But not the right thing
Red hood: *sitting, legs crossed, on a roof ledge* scare me and make me drop my book and l don’t care if you helped me with Penguin last night, I’ll throw you off this roof and I won’t give a shit Nightwing: *slowly jacks away* um. What book? Red hood: pride and prejudice. Nightwing: pride and . . . You know, my brother liked that book. Red hood: I know he did Nightwing:
Damian: *feeling uncertain with his title as Robin* Red Hood: you know, a wise kid once said Robin is magic Batman: *eyes narrow* what kid? Red Hood: eh, just someone I used to know Batman:
Spoiler: so why did ya decide to protect the alley? Red Hood: I lived there as a kid. I . . . Uh, it just means a lot to me. Spoiler: *frowning* I assumed you’d lived there. Red Hood: yeah it um . . . *thinking of Bruce* I met someone important there. He changed my life. And when . . . I, uh, lost him, I decided to clean it up. Spoiler:
Later, in the bat cave:
Spoiler: so Red Hood . . . Batman: *gravely* dated Jason. Nightwing: but he was only fifteen! Robin: *crossing his arms* people date at fifteen, Richard. Red Robin: . . . The crime lord dated the second Robin. Batman: I’m going to kill him. Nightwing: wait, no! You can’t! Jason wouldn’t have wanted it! Black Bat: he’s family. Spoiler: *jazz hands* NEW BROTHER
Red Hood: *listening in through their comms* what the fuck
Superman introducing Battinson Bruce to his parents though.
Ma and Pa Kent open the door, ready to meet their boy’s new bf, but it’s only Clark on the porch.
Clark: :D
Ma: Hi, honey. Where is your boy?
And then, peeking around the door frame, is Bruce in a suit and long wool coat, gaunt, squinting against the sun.
Bruce: hi it’s nice to meet you I’m Bruce
Pa: Oh, you didn’t have to get all dressed up to meet us!
Bruce: Mybutlermademe
Ma: Butler? Mercy, Clark, where did you find this one?
—
Clark disappears into the kitchen to help Ma with dinner, leaving Bruce and Pa sitting in the front room watching a baseball game. Bruce is sitting in an armchair, stiff as a board, anxiety level 100.
Pa: So Clark tells me you do the same sort of thing he does? Swoop around and help folks and such?
Bruce, blurting out the first thing that comes to mind: I can’t fly.
Pa: Wh—Okay?
Bruce: I am a bat but I can’t fly. Not without my Wingsuit.
Pa:…
Bruce, realizing what he just said: never mind
Pa, turning back to the tv: So how about them Yankees?
—
Ma: And this is our chicken coop. It’s a little musty, but Clark comes by to help tidy up once a week.
Bruce: *observing*
Ma: There’s this got-dang coyote—
Bruce, pointing at the corner: The coyote that’s been eating your chickens is burrowing under there. Reinforce it.
Ma:…I love you.
—
Pa: So what’s it like in Gotham?
Bruce, hunching over: The city is overrun with crime. Darkness lurks in every corner. We have an average twelve days of sun a year. Recently there has been a noxious cloud of gas hanging over the city center. I perch myself on my tower to observe. I become part of the building. I am a gargoyle.
Pa:…
Pa: Do you like living there?
Bruce, whispering fiercely: iloveit
—
Clark, flying Bruce back home: My parents love you.
Bruce: okay
Clark: They’re convinced you’re a cryptid that’s latched onto my soul, though.
Until.
A new invention gets introduced, from a kickstarter.
It takes off, and practically overnight becomes the next big thing, the creator becoming a millionaire.
But he doesn't run off with the money. He actually makes the invention and starts up a legitimate business that has payment plans for anyone.
The invention?
A filter that attaches to the sink faucet, or goes in the water towers (there's large versions for this). It uses moon rocks along with other weird things to filter, but test after test confirms that it creates the purest, healthiest drinking water.
The inventor is Tucker Foley.
What's actually happening is that there's tiny ecto blobs hidden in the rocks, which are actually from the moon (Danny ate the radiation off of them), and those little ecto blobs fucking love the toxins in Gotham's water. They'll eat 'em right up.
Problem; now the water companies that were making a living overcharging Gotham residents are hiring hitmen to take Tucker Foley out.
a scooby-doo origin story where Daphne, Fred, Velma, and Shaggy are all serving detention together and none of them (save for maybe Fred and Daphne) have ever really talked before, but they talk in detention. they have fun, they're bonding, it's a real Breakfast Club situation, and as detention ends they're walking home and they see a dog digging through the garbage of a local restaurant
he's big, but he seems sweet and he's obviously hungry, so the gang approaches him to see if he has a collar. Shaggy manages to get to him first, and the dog immediately takes to him, giving him a big dog kiss and cuddling up to him, but the dog seems to like all of them
upon finding he doesn't have a collar, Shaggy, scratching behind his ears, rhetorically asks, "What's your name, buddy?"
and the dog answers, "Scooby-Dooby-Doo!"
after a minute of freaking the FUCK out and asking each other "y'all heard that, right?" the kids decide to take the dog (who they immediately start calling Scooby-Doo, Scoob, or Scooby for short) home, and find that not only can the dog talk, he displays human-level intelligence and is easily frightened. when they ask where he came from, he doesn't seem to know, but when they walk past an old, abandoned shopping complex on the edge of town, he completely freaks out...and there are weird noises coming from that complex at night....and some suspicious sightings....
the first mystery they investigate together is the mystery of what in God's name is going on here
It would be cool if danny the street was a part of Dannys haunt that eventually became sentient thru ghost hijinks
So, sometimes I just like to imagine ridiculous pairing and then I have a moment that makes me go "actually..."
So Danny Fenton aka Danny Phantom(he/him) x Danny the Street(they/them)
If you're not familiar with Danny the Street, they are a literal teleporting street that's essentially a gay neighborhood. They are a safe space for people who don't fit into mainstream society, and is a big ally of the queer community...
(art by Zal-Cryptid)
So, a street that is a safe haven for weirdos AND the queer community... Kind of the perfect place for a half ghost boy being hunted by the government... especially since trans Danny is a popular head-canon... and the fact they share the same name is kind of funny...
Damn it, do I now ship Danny and Danny the Street together?
Just imagine them talking to each other Danny the Street using TVs and signs and Danny just talking out loud as he works through so trauma and bonds with them over coffee...
and just the slight tragedy that is not being able to hold your lover's hand but at the same time the romance of being able to feel your lover's affection for you all around because they are literally all around you
Idk there's just something kind of unhinged yet sweet about the whole thing
— I’m killing you now, Damian. This is happening. — Many have tried. Many with much more hair.
Batfam Dynamics Series: Jason Todd & Damian Wayne
I am actually begging some people to just let some spaces exist untouched by real-world issues and horrors.
Like I've lost count of the amount of times peaceful game or fandom servers have been ruined by people stampeding in with political rants, bitching about world issues, demanding internal activism, demanding vent channels so they can whine about their shitty parents, ect.
Like. Respectfully. Not every single space has to be inclusive of and welcoming of outside topics. The real world sucks. We don't needed to be reminded of that absolutely everywhere.