I’m Rereading Rwrb For Obvious Reasons, And I Just Got To The Part Where Henry Is  Telling Alex About

Regulus would definitely pick Sirius's long hair off James's clothes and say "who is she?" every time as a joke

The Marauders 🐾

rip james potter you would’ve loved this targeted ad i got for 1200 tiny ceramic ducks

So High School! Chapter Three!

“Ready to go now?”

James hears Regulus laugh softly, “Not quite yet, mon chéri.”

He can practically see Harry’s pout, “When?”

“Just give us twenty minutes,” Regulus replies, even if Harry hasn’t quite managed to work out what exactly time means yet. He’s been asking if they’re ready to go for hours, and still comes back every few minutes acting like hours have passed. This always happens when they plan to go over for the monthly Black family dinner. They’ve been good about hiding it from him and surprising him when the day comes around. Someone, Sirius, told him it was today though when asked. Sirius shot them a knowing smirk as he left. He did this on purpose. Surely to fuck with Regulus, but James isn’t sure which one of them is suffering more.

James feels a tug on the back of his shirt and he’s not even surprised. When he turns around Harry’s standing right at his heel, his eyes wide, “Leave now?”

James shakes his head, biting back his laughter as he lifts him onto the kitchen counter, “Didn’t you just ask Papa the same question?”

Harry pauses in consideration for a moment before he says, “Papa says we leave now.”

“Oh did he?” James asks.

regulus “and i wouldn’t marry me either, a pathological people pleaser” black and james “i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings” potter

"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair,” -Alexander Hamilton to Thomas Jefferson

(i know this is a fake quote but i still find this way too funny)

Regulus: my parents have chosen the woman I am to be in an arranged marriage with

James: I’m pregnant!

Regulus: what!?

James: and it’s yours

How to catch me

Marauders Group Chat

(Based on this text post) 

Padfoot: I’m bored!  Someone entertain me.

Prongs: Pads, it’s 1 am and I have class in thee morning, wtf?

Pads: But I’m boooored, Prongsy, can’t sleep.  It’s your job as my best mate to entertain me.

Wormy: I really need to turn my notifications off before I go to sleep.  Go to bed, Padfoot FFS

Moony: I’m trying to finish watching this weeks GoT before you twats spoil me again and now Pads’ whinging interrupts me? Go the fuck to sleep, Pads

Padfoot:  Moony!  Moonbeam!  Moon of my life!  You’re up?

Moony: Can you hear my groan all the way from your flat?  Because I’m groaning here

Padfoot: But you’re already awake Moonpie!  You can keep me company!

Moony:  What part of I’m watching Game of Thrones did you not get, you wanker?

Padfoot: I can watch it with you…?

Moony:  You scream at the tv and have given me spoilers almost every damn episode if I’m behind, why the fuck would I want to watch with you?

Padfoot: Because you’re awake, I’m awake, and you love me and know I’m going to annoy you until you give in.

Padfoot:

Prongs:  FFS Moony shut his ass up

Wormy: Awww look at the pupper

Moony: That won’t work on me, Pads

Padfoot:  I promise I won’t spoil anything and I won’t shout at the screen!  I’ll even bring chocolate… ;-)

Moony:  you’re annoying, you know that?

Padfoot:  Come on, Moons, I promise I’ll be good.  I just wanna bang you

Wormy: ….

Prongs:  Did he…did you… FINALLY!!!!

Padfoot:  I meant Hang!  I meant I want to hang with you… but you know… whatever.  

Wormy: Yeah sure that’s what you meant, uh-huh

Prongs:  Shut it Wormtail, my OTP is finally admitting their feelings!!

Padfoot:  Fuck… Moony?  I’m sorry, it was a mistake, I just meant

Moony: Are you bringing the chocolate?

Padfoot: Ummm sure?

Moony: Ok then

Padfoot:  Ok?

Moony: Yeah

Padfoot: To… hanging out?

Moony: Or whatever…

Padfoot: Really?

Moony: Just shut up and get over here already, will you?

Padfoot:  I’ll be there in 10 minutes!

(Padfoot has logged off chat)

Prongs: 

Prongs:  My boys, my babies!  FINALLY!  

Wormy: Well this has been like 5 years in the making. it’s like a slow-burn fanfic

Prongs: Yeah that idiots pining and friends to lovers shit.  That’s my jam really

Moony: You twats do realize I’m still here right?

Prongs:  Good.  Stop being idiots and bang each other then

Moony: Oh my god

Prongs:  I can hear Pads rushing through the flat, he’s obviously in a hurry to get to you, Moony.  *wink wonk*

Wormy:  Just wear a condom, mate.  Safe sex is good sex.

Moony: 

Moony: But yeah I already have some, thanks Pete.

Wormy: Lube is important too, just saying

Moony: Now is a great time to shut up mate

Prongs: So ummm I just yelled at Sirius you already had condoms and he ran out the door so fast I think i heard him fall down the stairs

Moony:  You guys suck

Wormy:  Nah, but I bet Pads will ;-)

Moony: Fucking hell, and on that note I’m gone, ta

(Moony has logged off chat)

Prongs:  

Wormy:  yeah I’m happy for them too, the dumb pining idiots.  But now I’m wide awake

Prongs: Me too. Wanna watch Umbrella Academy online together?

Wormy:  why the fuck not. 

Wormy: Hey, does that Klaus guy remind you of Sirius?

Prongs: I think Pads even has that leather skirt, honestly.