I Recently Watched A Rendition Of Fëanor's Speech To The Noldor On TikTok And I Gotta Say, Hearing It

no need to worry, everyone had been at some point of their lifes

I’m really obsessed with Legolas Greenleaf rn

to be fair, he would do that.

Fili: Name one mean thing I’ve ever said or done to you. Kili: You convinced me that eggs weren’t real!

someone told thorin to whenever he's lost in the darkness he should look for the light and then he found bilbo

Yaaaay! Let them see the Russian girls taught by Tutberitze ;)))

Imagine aliens being introduced to ice skating.

"Welcome everyone to the 94323th annual Talent Show! We have contestants from species from all across the galaxy showing off their amazing talents! For our first contestant, we have Kalk, a human from Earth, the first human to be our contestant!"

"Yes, Zill, unfortunately Kalk could not show off their talent live on stage, and instead sent us a video. We did send a witness to verify and record their performance so it wasn't faked. Our witness did tell us before the show that we really needed to see this."

"We are starting the video. There's Kalk outside on a frozen lake. Their giving us a bow which is a customary human greeting, and—are we sure this isn't faked? There's no way they could move across ice like that."

"I think they can, hold up they just lifted a leg—ARE THOSE BLADES ON THEIR FEET????"

"That must explain how they're moving like that. Kalk is turning around very sharply and dancing on the ice, which is very impressive and very terrifying. Our witness do not mention if Kalk was injured, so I don't think they're going to fall in the water—okay how are they balancing on one leg like that for so long??"

"Humans have been known as daredevils to use their term, but I've never seen something like this and KALK JUMPED AND SPUN IN MIDAIR! To use a human turn of phase, what the fuck??"

"I completely agree, and Kalk seemed to be about to do another jump... and it was a perfect landing! I've never been so terrified that a contestant may hurt themselves, but this is amazing!"

"And Kalk started to spin on the ice, very very fast, and I'm worried their blades will crack the ice underneath them... and they're moved away from that spot thank goodness."

"And they're about to do another jump and... they land on one foot! That appears to be the end of the performance! Kalk gives a bow... and that's it! Well, what did you think of that Zill?"

"I thought it was terrifying but spectacular. Our other contestants have to really step it up if they want to surpass Kalk."

Technically speaking, I am terrified of that...

Bro wait till the aliens learn about humans who can hyperextend their limbs

Alien: human Alex are you ok?! Your arm is broken!

Human Alex: my arms? Oh I’m double jointed

Alien: ????

The thing where you can pull your thumb backwards and touch your wrist, an alien would be traumatized from that

Frodo, meeting Aragorn in Bree: How do I know you're not a serial killer or something? Aragorn: Frdo: Aragorn: Frodo: Aragorn: You just trust me!😁 Frodo: That was a long pause!

loving lord of the rings is the secksiest personality trait there is btw

Humans are symbiotes

When we met humans we were naïve enough to assume they were like us. We thought each of them was a single entity until our ships systems completed their routine scans.

Of course we offered to rid them of the parasites they carried, it was politeness or so we thought. It took some careful explaining, we expected they would be horrified by the realisation there were microscopic creatures living within them. Instead they were horrified at the thought of losing them.

Humans are each a chorum. Do not be fooled by their use of the singular, the body you see is a vehicle carrying a population of billions.

All the bacteria and viruses we worked so hard to eradicate, humans instead invited in and made a part of them. The relationship is so profound they will deliberately cultivate and ingest the species they prefer to have inside them, and their digestion of food (another horror with their definition of food including a lengthy list of poisons) relies on of having the right population mix.

They create and alter viruses at whim to do many chores, and easily tolerate micro-organisms deadly to us.

They are each a walking army, deadly in the most terrifying way imaginable.

How do I know this?

We thought our systems isolated everything, we thought we were safe and their protective suits were sterilised. Somehow, we missed it. One of the suits had clinging to it a tiny virus colony.

When the Captain realised what was happening they closed every airlock and isolated each section to halt the spread. I got stuck on the lower storage deck for almost two cycles.

The humans did all they could to reassure me from a distance, sharing their knowledge to cleanse the ship for the rescue party. They knew they could not come in, but they would speak to me, make sure I knew what was happening and that they had called for rescue on my behalf, and how long it would be until I could be released.

They were mortified by the actions of one of the feral viruses they consider little more than an irritating pest.

I think they were sad to realise they can never safely interact with us or fully join our union. They can watch from a distance, but never walk on our worlds or share our ships. For a symbiotic ensemble that isolation must be painful even knowing it is vital for life.

I am one of the only members of the union to have met humans in person.

I alone survived the plague the humans later identified as ‘the common cold’.

So, Humans, what'cha doing?

"We're building a planet-sized Warp Gate."

...Ooo-kay then. Why?

"We wanna move some planets around."

That totally makes sense, yes, fully sensible and... uhh And you're gonna power it with..?

"That Dyson Sphere we're building around the Sun."

And the materials for all that..?

"We broke up a couple of Jupiter's moons for it. Oh right, we'll update flight trajectories for ya."

Right. Umm... thank you? Well uhh... we'll... leave you to it?

"Yup, no problem. Have a good one!"