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meirl

I was going to say something but i don't think anything can top that

list of sentences that convinced people to jump into an aqueduct

We were cleaning the python's tank and I was holding him, and he went up my shirt, and needless to say, snake in boobs.

I need to learn to account for the buoyancy of grapes.

I AM NOW IN SEARCH OF AN ENEMY TO INEVITABLY FALL IN LOVE WITH BY THE END OF THE BOOK. PLEASE APPLY ASAP AS I AM DOING VERY WELL IN MY CASTLE WITH MY VAST AMOUNTS OF WEALTH AND I DESIRE TO SPICE THINGS UP FOR PLOT REASONS.

Sibling has said terrible things to me involving Brynjolf. Please kill on sight.

when you wake up to a mouth full of skin.

My boss makes a dollar, I have depression, that's why I cry on company time.

Sign at my local movie theater that feels like a desperate warning