Saving This For Self-care And For Anyone Who Might Need This

everybody cries doing their math hw, those who claim they don't just haven't met that hw yet

this unlocked some ancient pain lol

BCC

A minimal figure-eight knot on the body-centered cubic lattice

(source code)

also i'm having a quarrel with my parents, i'm afraid they will disown me or kick me out

they are anti-vax and full-blown conspiracy theorist and my mother found out i took a covid vax

the fact that my father believes the earth is flat makes me so motivated to become a full-time scientist, being the very thing they hate. then they could not undermine what i say with "what the fuck do you know, you're just a student"

my father likes you only if you agree with him and he literally tells me every time we talk that i am stupid and should go fuck myself. not that i don't say the same things to him, i do, i hate the fact that this is how this relationship works

i am aware that doing things to prove something to someone is not the way to go but up to this point it was just my goal, one of many, to be a scientist, now it feels like a necessity

ah yes my boy tom cardy. everyone must listen to him, he's the best

I need everyone to see this ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECE

13 I 2023

two days ago I went to the 0th term exam for commutative algebra and received the highest possible grade!

the thing I noticed when studying for it was that the topics that used to be fairly ok but not very clear became completely intuitive. the best example of this would be fibers of maps induced on spectra. it feels so good when after trying to understand something for two months everything finally clicks and I obtain a deeper level of understanding

also I realized that making pretty notes actually doesn't help at all, so I switched to making more messy, natural ones. maybe I can no longer look at them and admire the work of art, but I think the principle behind it is that the more I focus on making my notes pretty the less attention I pay to actual information processing

so maybe these ^ don't look as good as they could and they are probably hardly useful for anyone other than me lol but the benefit is that I started learning really fast compared to how it was going when my notes were a work of art

currently I am studying sheaf cohomology and preparing for a complex analysis test (it's next week). I have two courses left to pass and I would like to ace them too, although that's rather unrealistic

the second batch of topics for complex analysis includes: order of growth of entire functions, analytic continuation, gamma, zeta, theta functions and probably elliptic functions. significantly more sophisticated than the first part of the material. for the course on algebraic methods, everything is hard lol I am waiting for the moment when homological algebra and sheaf theory become intuitive

next semester I am going to take algebraic topology (fucking finally), differential geometry, number theory, statistics and algebra 2 (mostly galois theory). I have never taken 5 courses in one semester so I'm very scared

@dimiclaudeblaigan asked for a tutorial on how to begin drawing. Good news! If you can draw a funky looking stick man, you have already started!

I think that stick people are a great starting point for artists because of the things you can learn from them that will be important later on.

If you are able to draw a circle and a couple of lines, you can easily put together a stick person.

Congratulations! You have started to draw. :)

A stick person is a very minimal artistic representation of a real life person. It is simple yet recognizable, and is widely used in art, media, and signage.

But what can a stick person teach us about drawing people that look more like… well, people? Lets have a look!

By simply adding a few more lines, we can add a pair of eyes and a mouth. Maybe even a little triangle nose! Or half circles for ears. We can now draw a face, which provides a basis for all sorts of expressions.

These simple additions can allow us to explore the wide range of human emotion and individuality.

This may seem like the basics of the basics. But that is what we want! In order to get to the point where we are able to draw complex, elaborate representations of humans and objects, we will need to start with simple shapes like lines and circles and build our understanding from there.

For instance, lets give our stick person some cool new features, such as hands and feet. I chose little squiggly circles to represent hands, and triangles to represent feet.

We can go a step further and modify the body of the stick person to include shoulders, hips, elbows and knees. These parts of the human body are quite complex in real life But here, all we need to do is add a few simple lines and dots to our stick person.

The lines provide some additional structural elements to our stick person's body, which are the shoulders and the hips. The dots indicate the points of articulation - elbows and knees, the places where the arms and legs bend!

Now we can use our stick person to show us an even wider range of human movement, action, and expression.

Our little drawing of a human being is evolving! All it took was adding a few more lines and shapes here and there.

By elongating some of the existing lines and making the head an oval instead of a circle, we can give our stick person proportions that resemble that of a real life human.

By this point, we have managed to add more complexity to our stick person simply by using our ability to draw lines, circles, and other basic shapes!

These basic ideas are the building blocks that will enable us to create more complex shapes.

The next part may be a considerable step up if you are absolutely new to drawing, but I have decided to include it in order to show you how complex objects like the human body can be built from shapes that are a bit more complex than circles and lines.

For example. Two ovals and a rectangle can be combined to create a cylinder.

Six squares can be combined to create a cube, or a box. Here, each square is distorted slightly depending on which way the cube is facing.

Note that the back faces of the cube and the bottom of the cylinder are hidden. These shapes allow us to visualize that which should not normally visible.

A sphere from all perspectives can be represented by a circle. But we can make it more like a sphere by adding lighting and shadow if we so desire.

Cubes, cylinders, and spheres are examples of 'solid shapes' because they consist of 3 dimensions.

Lets see how these solid shapes can be used to compose the human body.

By stacking three cylindrical objects, we can create a torso. Two spheres have been added to form shoulders, while a smaller cylinder forms the neck.

An arm is an alternating sequence of spheres and cylinders connected together. Note that the hand has been simplified for this example.

We can apply these solid shapes to the rest of the body to give us a more recognizable representation of the human form. It doesn't even have to be perfect. And just like that, our stick figure now has a silhouette that is unmistakably a person!

In the above examples, notice that we kept the stick person at the beginning while building up the shapes and solids around it. This is because the stick person serves as a guide for positioning the body and its various parts -> also known as posing.

You can do the same thing to everyday objects! Here, I drew a wine glass by stacking these three dimensional solid shapes.

The cup and its contents are two ovoid shapes that were cut in half. The stem is a very thin cylinder shape. The base is a cylinder with a slightly wider bottom.

Solid shapes help inform us how objects and parts of the human body may appear from different perspectives.

For example, a sphere can be used to demonstrate how the human head appears when looking up or down, turned to the side, or tilted at an angle.

With these examples, I hope I have managed to convinced you that if you can draw a circle and a couple of lines, you can draw a person! You just have to train your eye to recognize the simple shapes within complex objects. Try it with everyday objects as well! Or even your favourite media! A drawing subject can be as simple or as complex as you envision it to be.

Once you have mastered that, there are many aspects of drawing you can explore from here that may require you to seek additional resources or a fellow artist's advice.

Last of all, remember that drawing is an iterative process. Even if you draw something correct the first time, you will need to draw it again and again to get it right all times! And by making small changes like the ones we explored in this tutorial, your drawings will gradually transform!

I hope what I've demonstrated here are enough to provide the basics of how to get started with drawing objects and people, and also to help refresh more experienced artists. :) Hopefully I didn't go too off topic with what was requested, and let me know if there are any more questions I can answer.

Cheers :3

The chili plant made a deal with their God to only be consumed by things that could spread its seeds and fly. The chili received capsaicin, making itself painful to eat for mammals, but not birds, and all was well for the chili.

Then the human shows up, tastes it, and likes the pain. So now there's this flightless fucking mammal eating the chili. Like not even a fruit bat or anything, a flightless fucking mammal chomping on the chili.

What the fucking shit, God, cried the chili, I specifically requested the opposite of this.

Now hold on, wait a moment, replied the God who talks to plants but has no idea what the fuck these apes are going to do next. It might be something cool.

And in a flash of a second, in barely fraction of the time that chili took to develop capsaicin, the humans went from walking across land bridges and rowing little boats across small waters, into building ships that could cross oceans. More humans tasted the chili, and liked the pain. They took the seeds with them, and planted it elsewhere.

See? They spread the seeds.

They're still not flying, said the chili, still feeling insulted and betrayed.

But before the conversation was over, the humans were still not done fucking around and nowhere close to finding out. The ships became machines, and another machine was invented, capable of flight. Now, not only were the humans farming chili on continents far too far away for any of the birds that originally ate it could dream of flying, but the chili flew with them to lands where it could possibly not grow, so that humans over there could also eat it and enjoy the pain.

You see? They spread your seeds and fly.

It doesn't count as keeping a promise if you only manage it by a fucking accident, said the chili, still somewhat insulted. But nonetheless, the chili thrived.

10-12 VIII 2021

finished the basics of the measure theory and god am i in love

sleep: ok

concentration: good

phone time: good

yeah so now i know what a measurable set and a measurable function is, i'm on my way to lebesgue integration. however, i don't have the intuition for measurable functions yet, just the basics. there are those two theorems that i merely vaguely understand and idk barely can touch them. one of them is lusin, the other one is frechet. they seem very important as they deal with continuity of a function in the context of measurability. and do we love continuous functions my dude yes we do

tomorrow i plan to solve some problems concerning measurable functions and then do topo. i must admit, measure theory devoured me entirely recently and i had a break from topo. gotta fix that. and possibly do some coding

ok i get it now, most people need plans and structures so then they can study what they're really into in the future

btw today i'm doing operations on topo spaces, i love that already

i gotta say i don't buy all them planning strategies and tips that require more effort than just sitting and doing the work

i mean that might help some people but i find that when i am doing something important to me i need no plans nor do i need motivation, i also don't procrastinate, everything falls into its right place

and if achieving something takes so much effort in preparation, is this even supposed to be a thing? idk, maybe that's the reason why i have no external proof of my work lol

14 II 2023

so yesterday would be the last of my exams but I decided to retake both the written and the oral part. the grade I would get is 4, so not the highest possible, still pretty good especially for the standards of that course (it's one of the most difficult), but I am not satisfied

it was the professor who suggested I retake the exams, which surprised me, I was mentally prepared to finish being only half-happy about my results and his reactions, strangely enough, inspired me to try harder. he wouldn't offer it if he didn't think I could do better, right?

if he gave me a 5 with my written exam points I would feel like an impostor, because I don't think I am fluent enough with the topics to receive the best grade. to be graded 4 and not being effered the chance to try again would make me feel that it's done, I was just too slow and I can't do anything else to fix it (at least on paper, but we're talking symbolics now) and him giving me a second chance meant to me that he believes in my potential yet doesn't want to give me a participation trophy, instead he made it about earning the reward that I know I deserve

he achieved the aurea mediocritas with this and the most absurd part of it all is that he of all people was to give me this inspiration. half of the students I talk to think that he is pure evil, the majority of the other half think he is an inconsiderate asshole lmao

so in two weeks I'm trying the exam again. in the meantime I will have a party with friends (small – 5 people + my boyfriend's cat) and then I will be grading the math olympiad. afterwards my another grind of algebraic methods shall commence and this time please let me not fuck it up