Lmao Wtf People Seriously Say Shit Like "math Is Homophobic"? Because Queer People Can't Do Math… A

are you a girl?

I am, but I thought that was obvious given that I have a picture of me in my icon.

I got a proof wrong on an exam. No points. 

Then, I thought about it for fifteen minutes outside of the exam, wrote it down, nailed it. 

I showed a classmate and told him what happened. He looked frustrated. He’d clearly had this happen before, too (haven’t we all?).  He said, “Don’t you hate it when that happens?”

I almost said yes. What the h*ck!? No. No, I do not hate it when I can fathom a deeply abstracted concept in mathematics. I never hate that. I the opposite of hate that. Expecting myself to immediately understand topics like this is unrealistic. I’m proud of being able to do it at all. Who cares if I did it in the exam or within the next hour? I DID IT. It’s mine now. I can do it whenever I want. Missing points on that problem doesn’t take the knowledge out of my brain. How dare I be taught that my knowledge is useless because I didn’t have it right at that moment. It’s just as good now. 

Education is not about the arbitrary numeric number ascribed to your ability to do things quickly in an arbitrary, restricted time interval. Education is about being able to do progressively more things, to understand progressively complex things. 

Tenacity and challenging yourself far beyond your limits is a hundred times more important than getting good grades. Because, when you’re one of .4 percent of the population who possess complete knowledge on a very complex topic, nobody cares how long it took you to do it, or how well you did it the first time you tried. 

Grades don’t discover new mathematics. Mathematicians do (even the ones who failed a basic topic in mathematics because their base way of thinking was too complex). Grades don’t advance medical research. Scientists do (even the ones who had to apply for their PhD programs 3 times in a row before they got accepted). Grades don’t make science fiction into real-world technologies. Engineers do (even the ones who dropped out of school because they wanted to build things, not talk about building things). 

Knowledge is power. Skills are power. Grades are constructs. Never trade actual understanding for a semblance of understanding. 

Thinking about how when my oldest brother took Japanese classes his professor was like your pronunciation is really good 😊 but you need to watch movies that aren't about the Yakuza because you sound like a criminal

17 IX 2022

for the past few days life was treating me quite aggressively. today I had a terrible migraine, I feel weak and tired in general. doing math in a state like that isn't as pleasant so obviously I didn't do much, prioritized my health instead

during the semester I used The introduction to manifolds by Loring Tu to study analysis and I forgot that there were many nice exercises there that I didn't have time for but promised myself I would try them eventually

so tonight was the night and I studied grassmannians

I had some "results" done on my own, which later confirmed to be true, namely that the grassmannian over ℝⁿ for a 1-dim subspace is equivalent to a projective space of dimension n-1. I'm pretty sure that we are getting the projective of the same dimension for n-1 dim subspaces but I didn't calculate anything for n>3 so I might go back to that one day

it's fun to get hunches like that even if they turn out to be completely obvious to the authors of textbooks lmao

I am finally in the place with studying the theory for homology, commutative algebra and apparently differential topology (as it turned out today), where I have a variety of exercises I can try and that's the good part for me, always helps to get deeper insights and allows me to be more active

a friend asked me for a talk about the zariski topology in the context of algebraic sets and spectra of rings, so I'll see her soon for that. she will give me a personalized lecture about her thesis, which is about general topology. I am not a big fun of general topo but I'm always a slut for lectures about math so am excited for that

I hope my body will get its shit together because I still have to prep my lecture on euclidean geometry and when I don't feel good it's super difficult to motivate myself to do things that are not super exciting. I will never see productivity as a value on its own for this very reason lol I can barely do anything I don't find interesting

A monoid? Oh, you mean a monad on a one point set in the bicategory of spans of sets?

imo euclidean geometry kinda sucks, but if we mean geometry in a more general sense then algebraic geometry is the one

I've decided to start a fight

anyways geometry sucks algebra best math

maybe a littel late for Real’s Math Ask Meme 18, 6 and 3, please?

hi, thanks for the questions!

3: what math classes did you like the most?

tough choice! for the content itself I'd say abstract algebra, commutative algebra, analytic functions and algebraic topology. for the way the class was taught, a course on galois theory I took last semester was probably the best. the pace of the lecture allowed me to learn everything on the spot, not too fast, but not so slow that my mind would wander. the tutorials were also great, because the teacher found the perfect balance between explaining and showing the solutions, and engaging us to think about what should happen next. the courses I mentioned above were also taught well, but the galois theory one was absolutely perfect

6: why do you learn math?

I enjoy the feeling of math in my brain. I can spend hours thinking about a problem and not get bored, which doesn't usually happen with other things. when I finish a study session I feel tired in a good way, like I spent my time and energy doing something valuable and it's very satisfying

18: can you share a good math problem you've solved recently?

given a holomorphic line bundle L over a compact complex manifold, prove that L is trivial iff L and the dual of L both admit a non-zero section

this problem is quite basic, in a sense that you work on it right after getting started with line bundles, but I believe it to be a good problem, because it forces you to analyze the difference between trivial holomorphic bundles and trivial smooth bundles, so it's great for building some intuition

8 V 2022

I am on my way home from a math conference, the first one in which I participated actively – I prepaired the talk about the Borsuk-Ulam theorem

my lecture was centered around the connection between the classic "continuous" BUT and its combinatorial analog: Tucker's lemma

I wanted to talk about this because I was amazed at how cool and "versatile" this theorem is. there is a whole book about its applications and generalizations, which is btw very well-written, I highly encourage everyone to read it:

my presentation went well, although after practicing it for about a week the topic seemed really fucking boring to me, no wonder

other than that I have another recommendation to make. do you also hate how messy multivariable calculus is? I do. calculations and technical definitions everywhere, and at the end everything comes down to calculating the determinant of some jacobian. bluh. I stumbled upon a book that describes everything from a sort of algebraic perspective, smells a little bit like category theory too. very clean, very satisfying to read:

I have been studying covering spaces recently and I can give some dope motivation for learning about the structure induced by the covering mapping:

I will never forget that the homomorphism induced by the covering projection is injective

that would be it for my mathemathical life. my personal life, which is still closely connected to math, brings me some psychological progress. I no longer get stuck in loops of "oh I'm so bad at math. maybe I'm not? I got a good grade from X. ah but I got a shit grade afterwards". it might be because I didn't fall on my face for a while now, only decent grades, good ideas, a good presentation, this is correct. but I also do not negotiate with myself that this is supposed to be proof that I'm good enough, I just stopped paying attention to these and focused on math instead. and paradoxically when I stopped caring about being good at math I was rewarded with getting better at math???

a coincidence,

a pleasant one, nonetheless.

anyway I will have to take a fall at some point, unavoidable. and it will be the final test of my progress, becauase I used to get very elevated in my sense of self-worth after receiving a single good grade among trash ones and now I'm just ok. not the god, just ok. but back then, at some point I would no longer be god, I would get smacked in the face by some "proof that I'm actually trash" and that would be a fall from a significant altitude. so I'm hoping that the fall will also be less painful now

I think the biggest change I made was giving up, I abandoned all hope. nooow here is the moment when people interrupt me with "nooo that's horrible don't give up you're a great person you just have to notice that"

fuck off you don't understand shit

I'm doing better now precisely because I stopped hoping that one day I'll stop feeling worthless, that one day something great will happen that will prove once and for all that I'm meant for something great. I can't stand this anymore, I am disgusted by the fact that deep down I still believe that I'm supposed to be the best and that I can't enjoy anything unless I am winning. I want to puke when I'm reminded that everything I do serves the purpose of winning the negotiations I have with myself about what my actual value is

my self-hatred runs much deeper now than ever before and I have no more patience for self-victimization, no more room for "allowing myself to feel". fuck off, all I feel is rage. I want to be able to do things without the prospect of a reward, my goal is to enjoy things, not the sense of being good at doing things

so that's what I'm doing, I made peace with the fact that I will probably never feel good about myself and that I have no chance at achieving the greatness I crave. and I must say I started respecting myself more, turns out I am actually able to do things without the promise of being the best at them, the vision of bringing value to the world motivates me. and fuck the western culture with its oh you must love yourself you are a great person. no, you don't have to do that and you have no way of knowing what kind of person you are, nobody has ever defined it in a strict formal sense, people just use this phrase to trigger the feel-good in others

I am aware that all of this sounds really bad, but I don't care, it works. and my math will be better like that because now that I stopped crying over being trash I have more time to study

I just hope that the fall won't be as painful

Someone is bisexual if they are both monosexual and episexual