Okay, But Like...

Batfam quotes as things my family (and friends) have said.

Damian: *ranting* Father is infuriating at times!

Steph: I don't have a dad

Jason: I don't have a mom

Dick: You guys have parents?

Part 2 of Batfam Nerf War

Scroll down for part 1. It's not far.

Previously: Tim then builds a team...

The "Tim team" consists of Steph, Duke (reluctantly), and Cass.

It starts out with the four of them ambushing Jason as random times. At one point, Jason has to restrain himself from pulling a real gun on Steph. She has her guns loaded with glitter as a "artistic addition".

Jason eventually loses it and recruits the "big guns". He promises Dick a hug and cashes out a favor from Damian.

The group spends about a week ambushing each other (Tim usually concocted unusually complicated traps). Until Dick's gun malfunctions and accidentally fires on Damian. The teams split into three, the four....

By next week the manor becomes the battle ground of a no-holds free-for-all nerf war.

God help poor Alfred.

Imagine nerf darts, glitter, and batarangs scattered all around the mansion. Alfred just following behind and cleaning up the "bat tornado aftermath".

Somehow, Bruce is completely oblivious to the destruction his children are causing. "It just a harmless game Alfred". Bruce is lucky Alfred loves him.

I'll write part 3 when I'm motivated.

Part 9!

He can fix everything. He can duct tape it all into the fluffiest family bonding~

Part 1

Jason: *wailing dramatically in a long victorian dress with a lit candlabra down one of the many dimily lit corridors of the gothic mansion at midnight*

Bruce: *turning on the hall lights* Jason, we’ve already fucking talked about this

Don't we all love some chaotic siblings shenanigans at the gala?

Ah! The annual Wayne gala...

Every year, Bruce Wayne attempts to throw a normal gala.

You, know. The kind every other billionaire throws.

But somehow

Somehow

Something weird happens.

Whether Damian lets Batcow into the ballroom, or Steph sets off the sprinkler system, or (God forbid) Jason mixes laxatives into the cake; something always goes wrong.

And. It. Is. Always. His. Kids'. Fault.

It's become a running joke in the media!

"The Wayne Kids at it again!!! Read their latest gala antics below!"

Bruce just wants to jump into that bottomless pit in the Batcave...

Why WHY are his... lovely children like this? Can't they just give him some peace.

Of course not, Dick is sitting on the chandelier and everyone is staring.

Dick waves at him.

He can only stare blankly until Tim comes over and hands him a cup of coffee, Tim holding one himself.

Not really a typical gala drink, but he deserves it. Takes a big drink and almost spits it out. He give Tim and incredulous look.

The coffee is spiked.

He can't tell if it has monster, whisky, or a fucking 5 hour energy in it though.

Tim just shrugs and takes the cup back.

"More for me"

Cass walks over and gives him a pity pat on the shoulder.

God help him.

He loves these kids.

But God help him...

⭐Prompt list⭐

Because I have writers block and need recommendations!

A) Chandeliers

B) Amazon driver

C) Fight

D) Sickness

E) Zoo

F) Cookies

G) Office

H) Migraine

I) Coffee

J) Ducks

K) Angst

L) Art

M) Holiday

No idea what depths of the internet this came from but I'm here for it.

My brother: explaining Fortnite for the 50th time.

Me: confused af, but happy to have a conversation that doesn't involve arguing.

Him: You get what I'm saying.

Me: Absolutely not, but I'm happy you're happy bud.

It like 10:40 and my brain is like "hey remember the face of the category 2 Alternates in the Mandela Cataloge"...

@oliveid

Damian in the Sons of Anarchy AU still speaks English like that but this time its Jason’s fault since he taught him to speak like a Victorian aristocrat because he was petty about being kidnapped and made a babysitter to his baby brother in a foreign country.