Instead of using water in my pancake mix I used coffee.
Don't try it. It just taste like beans.
Not even coffee beans.
Just beans.
Me: Mom, I'm transgender. It means I want to be a man and would like to be known as one from now on.
My Mom: What does that even MeAn?
mothers are like *intentionally misinterprets your words*
The sequel
My friend and I discussing the future of America.
Like to charge reblog to cast
Stranger: Wow, you're so pretty.
Me: Aww, thanks.
My friend, who I have a crush on and I don't know how to deal with it: Wow, you're so pretty.
Me who has no idea how to flirt and is blushing profusely: What? How dare you?
Alright so I see a lot of people being like "how did Spencer reid make it through college he was like 12?!?!"
hear me out
Some absolute dudebro frat boys saw this skinny little genius child and went "oh shit that's our son" and took care of him. Like, they would walk him everywhere to keep him safe, would put together furniture for him, and overall kept an eye on him.
Also I just love picturing some jerk picking on little Spencer, just to have a very angry group of probably hungover frat boys come to beat them up.
oH MY FUCKING GOD I LOST HIM!!! I LOST JOHNATHAN!!!!!!!!
Hi everyone I would like you to meet my new friend, Johnathan.
He is a baby rollie pollie and I love him.