Boobyisme - Booby Is Me

Grown up fan girls aren’t supposed to outlive their teenage heroes my dude.. this man impacted my entire teen years and now he’s forever immortalized at 31. I don’t think I’ll ever fully process what happened today but I’m grateful for having the teen years i had cause of a dude named Liam mf Payne

We all have our off days. Don’t allow the hate to bury you under for too long.

I've been listening to so much 1D and watching old videos and reminiscing and One Direction were sooooo special!! And to have been a fan during the whole 1D era, being excited for new concert videos (esp 2012-2014 was insane) and coming online every day to share that joy and excitement with fellow fans - I mean, grateful beyond words. That era can never be replicated, there's no boyband doing what they did now. I honestly don't think there ever will be. And to know that we will never get the reunion they said they'd be open to do one day- fuck it breaks my fan-heart to pieces 💔

you have to be extremely intentional with the choices you make and the life you create for yourself - the people you cultivate relationships with, the things you spend time doing, the career you have, the habits you build - don’t just let things happen to you, take control of what you can and leave the rest to God

Early one direction was fantastic. NO stage presence. No dance moves. They’d just be up on stage like awkwardly bopping around and shoving each other and like fucking giving eachother smooches on the cheek. There was one show where Harry styles got pantsed during his solo??? They were the boyband that NEVER wanted to or intended to be in a boyband! They were totally in it for the fame and the money, but they became BROS !!!! They were FRIENDS!! And that’s the true beauty, the friends we made along the way!

1 am thoughts

Hi. Once again, I remembered D and instantly cried. I just don't understand why I can't let go of the thought of him because it's not like we even dated. We spent a few hours together for one (1) night and THAT'S IT. I really don't understand where this desire is coming from. I don't understand how I can feel all these emotions for somebody I don't technically know. It has been over a year and I am still the same mess, even after having dated a few people since. I was talking to God earlier about how I need help from Him to take this sadness away. I am really so happy where I currently am in life and I know that I can definitely do without a partner (maybe) at this point. AND YET SOMEHOW!! On the rare occasions I do think of a prospective partner, it's him I go back to. I can't rationalize why I feel this way, but I know that it was that moment of peace and quiet and coziness and serenity and bliss in his car on the drive home after having just shared a few hours of fun and intimacy that did it for me. I can think of a long list of songs that I can associate with the feeling of being in that car with him. It just felt so good and right. I hope I was better with words but to give you a slightly descriptive picture, that car ride felt like what it did when we used to walk back to the parking in G4 after having just watched the last full show of some movie. So cold and quiet you could hear crickets and you were still slightly sleepy because you had been asleep for the latter parts of the film.

That's what the car ride felt like. It felt new yet familiar; new because I knew for certain that I had never felt that way before, and familiar because it felt as if I had known him my entire life. I know it probably did not mean shit to him in the slightest, but to me, it felt like a rebirth, and that's what makes the entire thing so sad to me. I did not even reach the point of getting to try it out. It was literally just (barely) one night, yet however, I am still so connected to him in ways I did not imagine possible. If I have not told you yet, he is workmates with the mother of my very best friend. MY BEST FRIEND. The one friend I hang out with every single day. He LITERALLY works 3 desks away from Tita Pearl. SO CRAZY. There has even been a time when I got to see his desk firsthand (he wasn't there at the time, thankfully) because Faye and I had to meet up with Tita Pearl at her office. I don't care what you think of my story. This story has been sending me into a pit of depression every time I try to recall it and I cry the same amount of tears each time, even more so because he is currently dating another girl. I know that this is not the kind of prayer God would want me to make so I stray away from hoping they don't actually end up together. The other day during worship, Fr. Jade talked about how evil never prevails -- no matter how hard you pray for it. If it is evil at its core, there is no chance God would grant it. I think I have already fully come to terms with the possibility that we might never cross paths again because, really, it's okay. As I said, it does not bother me much to be without a partner. In fact, I enjoy it. I enjoy having all this luxury of time and space to do whatever the heck I want. It's just that when I do think of anyone, I always think of him. I think he's a really smart and good person with a really nice personality and I know I would really love to spend time with him. He feels like somebody I wouldn't hate having around all the time, which speaks volumes about how much I actually like him. However, I understand that this might not be what God wants for me at this point because literally nothing is happening and it's not like I'm going to barge back into his life and reintroduce myself. Like I said, he is seeing someone else and I respect that. While I know there's no harm in simply reaching out, I have so much respect for my fellow woman so I will not do that. After all, God knows what is best for me and I will follow just that; the lack of opportunity in sight is already a big fat sign. Right now, my main concern is to be rid of the sadness that comes with remembering him and our short time together. These days, nothing makes me sadder than when I'm trying to recall those moments and getting flashes of what could have been. One day, I know I will find closure, even if it's not with or from him. I hope that, if it cannot be him, it's somebody infinitely better. I hope that that person could make me feel as good as that car ride in 2023 did, if not so much better. Lord, you have never failed me even once in my life. I find no reason to doubt your plans, especially at this point. Right now, please just help me be happy for him and for whatever is going on in his silly little life.

D, you were exceptional and I truly have never met anyone as lovely as you are. I hope to see you again soon.

I do feel like this whole self improvement culture thing can go too far where people are never happy with who they are and where they are because they’re constantly trying to be better or do better and they’re always waiting for some sort of glow up or achievement or therapy realisation that will make them feel complete but that isn’t real and life is actually in the every day