Latest Posts by bluryy-face0 - Page 2

"it's all in your head" correct! unfortunately I am also in there

i havent felt like myself in months and its a feeling i truly cant shake, i dont know how long i can continue to mimic the other behaviors people project to fit in and seem normal.

i yearn to be like a happy ghast please (i am just nether ghast... )

I have an idea where game version of eggman is working on trying to sent agent stone back to his original dimension. All while agent stone is pampered him.

I have killed my desire to be loved, understood, or accepted because I'm fully aware of how unlovable I am.

sorry i cant hang out i forgot how to mimic human like behaviour

woah buddy no need to describe me exact experience over here🧍‍♂️

I keep doubting my BPD because I think my emotions aren't intense enough, but then I remember I've been in a state of dissociation for what feels like weeks now.

I don't know if any other borderlines relate, but sometimes I'll express emotion on the outside, but I won't feel any of it on the inside. For example, this morning I woke up and seemed very happy and like everything was great. I spoke to my mom and was showing a lot of that happiness through my voice and body language, but internally, I wasn't feeling anything? It's like I'm not feeling emotions somatically.

Because of this, I always find myself confused as to whether or not I'm actually feeling an emotion or not? During times like these, it triggers my imposter syndrome, and I start missing my intense emotions/mood swings.

Maybe it's the black and white thinking, too? If I'm not experiencing an intense emotion, I think I don't have BPD. But when those emotions come back, I'm like, "Yeah. There it is..." and I want to die all over again.

What a suffocating existence

Every part of me is ruined. I'm afraid I have nothing left to offer you. So if you decided to leave, I wouldn't blame you because if I were you, I would leave me, too.

beating back the mental illness allegations by lying

Once I actually open up in therapy it's over for y'all

bpd splitting rn so we hate him now (only to want to go back to him crying again)

Default

Even in sunlight,

when the wind is soft

and someone loves me—

I am already gone.

The ‘yes’ lives

in my marrow,

quiet,

not dramatic—

just there,

like breath.

Joy feels like

a borrowed shirt.

It fits,

but it isn’t mine.

Laughter echoes

off walls I don’t touch.

I watch it float

and fall

like dust.

Ask me again.

Ask me on a good day.

Ask me when the sky is gold.

The answer is still yes.

Because even the light

can’t reach the basement

where I live.

And God knows,

I don’t want to live.

I feel so Achilles when people start making valid points right after I've decided that I'm gonna be mad. Like, fuck you and your reasons I'm not listening anymore lalalala kys

I NEED someone to love

Someone I can pamper with affection, someone I can smother in kisses, someone I can sing sweet songs to, someone I can fall asleep next to.

I need to love...

so that I can forget the emptiness.

Not good enough for my family

Not good enough for my friends

Not good enough for anybody

everyday is all the same

frustrating

tiring

my heart has grown tough

it’s darkened

it’s slowed

im supposed to stay tender despite it all

a soft laugh

a sweet smile

a kind soul

i’ve never been an angry person, even when i should have been angry

but lately

im so tired

time never stops

i wish it could stop

so i could catch my breath

relax for a moment

maybe one day

i won’t have to worry about everything

i can finally sleep

the entire past year doesn't even feel like it was real and i have no idea what to do now

i need this to happen sometime soon preferably

Getting over your weekly breakdown

One of the hardest things you will ever have to do, my dear, is to grieve the loss of a person who is still alive.

I don't want to feel like this anymore.

fucked up and evil that i Have been drawing and writing all through january but none of you are allowed to see it

One more life changing event and I'm leaving earth. I can NOT go through another test omfg

Constantly switching between healing and complete self destruction

*guy who is very clearly going through. something* oh yknow. just a little tired haha

There are so many better options than me

now to make it through april-june

wishing everyone a very good luck getting through january-march without killing yourself