Spare Liam Stewart Fanfiction PLEASE

anyway jeff bezos could eradicate homelessness. he could literally give each homeless person 100k and it would only take less than .5% of his entire wealth. what the actual god giving fuck

Captain Marvel: So how’s Nick’s eye doing? Always felt bad about that one

Steve: (’the last time I trusted someone I lost an eye’ flashbacks) that was YOU?

Captain Marvel: No ??? Lol it was my cat

Steve, having spent the past three years coming up with more and more convoluted/ tragic ways in which Fury lost his eye, having eventually settled on some sort of world-altering battle between him and one of his loved ones:

WHEN WILL PEOPLE FUCKING REALIZE THAT

MEN

ALSO

ARE

GIVEN

UNREALISTIC

EXPECTATIONS

DO YOU HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA

HOW IMPOSSIBLE IT IS

TO LOOK LIKE THIS???

IT’S 100% FUCKING ILLOGICAL TO EXPECT MEN TO HAVE THIS RIPPED SIX-PACK ABS AND BE SKINNY AND HAVE PERFECT SKIN AND FACIAL COMPLEXION!  MEN ALSO EXPERIENCE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE WITH OUR BODIES ALL. THE. FUCKING. TIME.

If this ain’t me

I hate when people casually discuss superheroes because I’m sitting in the corner with KNOWLEDGE and OPINIONS but I just have to smile and be like “haha yeah I like superman too” so I don’t scare anyone

Can you please reblog if your blog is a safe place for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, asexual, aromantic, pansexual, non binary, demisexual or any other kind of queer or questioning people? Because mine is.

FUCKAKDJAKCJAONCKANS

dick grayson realizing years later all those times batman sent him home so he could personally take catwoman back into custody was really just a way of getting him to leave so they could fuck on the rooftop of a museum selina just robbed:

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

give guardians vol 3 to taika

thanks for coming to my ted talk

reblog if ur bi, ur not biphobic, or ur best friend is a beautiful valid bisexual

the bat family as things my fam has said:

“the Mormons are out”

“shut the fuck up and eat your toaster strudel”

“I WILL TURN THIS SLED AROUND RIGHT NOW”

“SWEETY WHERES MY MOONSHINE!????”

“you’re such a bitch.” “Well you’re a bigger bitch, bitch”

“your dads a fucking idiot”

“it’s not my fault if you get pregnant.”

“So what??? My kids gay! Deal with it!”

“Cmon lets go on a date”

“(Gasp) LOOK AT THE LIGHTS”

“itty bitty kitty, fatty watty catty, and big bitch”

“Who is rambo” “YOU DONT KNOW WHO RAMBO IS????” “U ARE DISOWNED”

“YOU LITTLE GREMLIN”

“do you know how cool life would be if we were in a musical”

“Life sucks. You just have to drink your way through it.”

“Oh my god my 14 year old is gonna be an alcoholic”

“WHY ARE U TRYING TO PUSH ME OUT OF THE CAR”

“It’s going down for real! *falls down the stairs*”

“in my dream they were about to take me down to level F. Now I’ll never know and it’s all your fault”

“Stop being so emo.”

“ILL SHOW YOU A WEAK LITTLE GIRL”