They Call Me Microplastics The Way Im In All Sorts Of Places I Am Not Meant To Be

i enter the political art exhibition going yay! i love art galleries! yippee!

i exit the political art exhibition going there are kinds of exploitation i could never have even imagined

well here i am….reading yaoi in the hospital waiting room again…

One time, I had an English professor tell me I should stop using my inhaler because it was bad for the environment.

Yeah an if you dropped dead it would significantly reduce your carbon footprint too, huh. What if we ALL just stopped breathing. Can’t be throwing fistfuls of plastic fuckin straws directly into the South Pacific when you got a BPM of zilch, can you? What a fuckin innovator. Was he head of your nation’s EPA *directly* before he retired to become world’s youngest baseline edgelord 4chan ass 14 year old boy with tenure, or did he wait for his 3rd consecutive Nobel peace prize before giving someone else a chance? Ask him if his back hurts from carrying the weight of all the world’s most pressing concerns to and from Chuck E Cheese each night or if his tiny spiny propellor hat lightens the load a bit. Did his big red clown nose come standard with his tweed set or he spring for the premium model with the biodegradeable sustainable foam and the super-boosted honk-honk action? Are his size 23 clown bitch oxfords custom? Does he take one off to use as a canoe on his annual vacations to his summer home in the balmy and tropical shit fuck dumbass islands or does he just levitate everywhere he goes by the power of his unparalleled Xmen level intellect. Can you ask him if Magneto is gonna spare the human race to run laps in his hamster wheel electrical generator complex or if he’s just gonna wipe us all the fuck out for the carbon tax credit. Ask him if the weight of his gigantic balls dragging in the ground behind him everywhere he goes adds to the mileage on his Tesla. When he wipes his ass does he use single ply to save the trees or just a fistful of baby ducklings that he can then gently bathe by hand with water collected by the rain barrel in the endangered orchid garden by the solarium on the west side of his sprawling villa, the one he bought when he sold the patent for the perpetual motion motion machine he built out of toothpicks and marshmallows in third grade before the obvious intellectual gap between himself and the rest of us bumbling simpletons weighed him down and killed his passion to create. What other wisdom has he yet to share with the world? What other knowledge that only he and my reiki-healing essential-oil-drinking violet-aura neighbour know that may benefit us all? Holy shit, have I been drinking WATER my whole life? That shit that whales live in? Guess I’ll just go lay in a hole out back and wait for the compost heap to take me. Should I confess my sins to Captain Planet first, so he may redeem my wicked soul in the true Eco Catholic way, or was that recyclable soda can I threw in the trash downtown at last year’s garlic bread festival because there were no recycling bins provided the final straw that made me unworthy of glorious green salvation? BRB, gotta go strip naked and flagellate myself before the begonias so that they may know the depth of my remorse. Don’t worry, I only buy locally-sourced hemp lashes produced by small home businesses at the farmer’s market, they have a three-for-two sale on Sundays if you bring your own reusable bag. Christ on a fucking cupcake

i dont know why id waste time boring myself by telling lies for the sake of seeming normal in a social situation when i could tell lies for the sake of seeming like a peculiar entity. why would i pretend to be friends with someone i hate when i could say “i hate you” and spend my time instead training myself to politely nod and say a random name every time i see a bird in order to convince strangers that i have memorised and named all the pigeons in my local area

competitive sports are not my thing at all but holy fuck i love bot fights- killing machines with googly eyes beat the shit out of each other while the nerds controlling them look absolutely giddy? 10/10 fucking incredible entertainment

If I didn't like being on the internet so much, I think I would have liked to be a sailor

been in a bit of a mood lately, listening to my edgy early highschool playlists has been good though. made this after voting (im australian) but didn't colour it in until now, idk if i like this drawing but im trying to post more art and be less critical of it, plus im still working out how to draw furries

happy out of touch halloween thursday

whenever a song says "carry on" i hear "carrion" and then i start thinking about vultures