whats the ice cream bar approach ?
So, @bipolarings has a post talking about this a little already, but I'm always happy to be given an excuse to blather about brains :D
The ice cream bar/sundae bar metaphor was originally created to describe the autism spectrum, but it works really well for other things too, including bipolar disorder. I'mma adapt it a lil bit here, in fact, to make it work even better. Yay me.
The principle is this: instead of trying to divide up bipolar disorder into I/II/NOS/etc, or classify it as 'severe' or 'mild', picture it as a sundae bar.
Now, every day, you make yourself a sundae. You can take as many toppings as you 'want' and as much of each topping as you 'want'.
There are some toppings that go well together, so, for instance, if you take a lot of euphoria there's a good chance you'll also get some hypersexuality, some delusions of grandiosity, some creative drive, some ambition, some psychomotor agitation. And that would be called a 'manic episode'. You could get somewhat less of each, maybe leave off the delusions of grandiosity, and people might call it a 'hypomanic episode'. Even less and people might call it 'euthymia'.
But the thing is, you don't have to get it that way, and you can take any amount of each! So you might get low mood but a lot of psychomotor agitation, irritability, and disregard of consequences. Or you could get a huge amount of emotional numbness but combine it with the stuff other people like to put with euphoria. Or you could get just a bit of low mood but spice it up with hallucinations and delusions (other). Or you could get a lot of delusions of grandiosity but only a tiny amount of euphoria.
And what you get one day doesn't determine what you get the next. You could spend years getting nothing but the 'hypomania combo' and the 'depression family-size' and then one day decide to dump the entire bowl of euphoria in your cup and top it with so many delusions it starts to spill over the sides. Or maybe you've only ever gotten small, carefully curated sundaes with a healthy amount of two or three toppings but today you just tell the server 'fuck me up' and get some of absolutely everything.
While certain sets of symptoms commonly appear together, and are then labeled 'mania', 'hypomania', 'depression', or 'euthymia', symptoms don't have to appear in those particular combinations. (Also the DSM isn't necessarily even right about what combinations are common.)
You could also have different proportions of symptoms than someone else does. (And that doesn't necessarily make your disorder or theirs automatically more 'severe'.)
Even if you do only get common combinations of symptoms, that says nothing about how 'severe' it is. If you get an enormous amount of emotional numbness, lack of motivation, executive dysfunction, suicidality, paranoid delusions, and disregard of consequences, continuously for 98% of your adult life; and someone else gets one (1) single 3 day long episode with a medium-sized serving of delusions of grandiosity, hallucinations, and disregard of consequences; they'll probably be diagnosed with Bipolar I and you with Bipolar II, but your life is probably being affected a lot more.
What symptoms you get can also change, which can include changing from what a psychiatrist might call 'Bipolar I' to 'Bipolar II', or 'BP-II' to 'BP-NOS', or whatever. You haven't magically gotten a new disorder. You just got a different sundae today. You're still eating at the same sundae bar.
I think people need to get better at saying “maybe, maybe not” or “do I really need an answer?” when faced with uncertainty. this is something that gets taught to people with OCD, but I think the masses would benefit
“what kind of attraction am I feeling?” would it be the end of the world if that question didn’t have an answer?
“am I allowed to identify as x when I’m not sure if it applies to me?” maybe! who cares!
literally. you can apply the “fuck around and find out” method to anything
continuously feeling the need to hunt for answers is going to eat you up inside. take it from me. your life gets so much easier when you let yourself be unsure
Just saw a spicy hot take in the notes of an ADHD post that was like “adhd isn’t a mood disorder stop making excuses” from a supposed fellow ADHD person and like yes, ADHD is not exclusively a mood disorder. It’s 4 of them hiding under a trench coat with 15 other neurological disorders. And also:
ID, a screen grab from an article that reads: About 70 percent of adults with ADHD report problems with emotional dysregulation, going up to 80 percent in children with ADHD. In clinical terms, these problem areas include:
-Irritability: issues with anger dysregulation – “tantrum” episodes as well as chronic or generally negative feelings in between episodes.
-Lability: frequent, reactive mood changes during the day.
-Recognition: the ability to accurately recognize other people’s feelings. Individuals with ADHD may tend to not notice other people’s emotions until pointed out.
-Affective intensity: felt intensity – how strongly an emotion is experienced. People with ADHD tend to feel emotions very intensely.
-Emotional dysregulation: global difficulty adapting emotional intensity or state to situation.
/end ID. (Source)
Like not to be wildly and irrationally peeved about this, but bully for you if you don’t experience this as part of your ADHD, but over 70% of us do and saying we’re making excuses or not trying hard enough is the exact same shit neurotypicals say to invalidate us, and causes us real harm. Please don’t do the same thing. Trauma inflicted by neurotypicals is a huge part of why living with ADHD is so difficult. We don’t need it from within our own community too.
We all experience this shit show disorder differently. It’s a spectrum of one size fits no one, not a cookie cutter mold to fit into.
And yeah, you know what, this shit isn’t an excuse to behave badly, but you know what, knowing emotional dysregulation is a symptom of ADHD helps you to treat it and work on getting a handle on it. Knowing the reason it feels like the world is ending in your chest because something bad happened, and knowing it’s because your gremlin brain is perpetually starved for dopamine so there’s no cushion for the raw emotional feedback currently happening can help you, with practice, to curb the impulsive desire to do something rash or harmful.
I mean, fuck, there’s a reason for why suicide is so prevalent in ADHD, and I’m going to go out on a limb and say that impulsivity and severe emotional dysregulation is a part of that.
Knowing that the feeling will end and isn’t an accurate reflection of the situation, overwhelmingly painful as it is in the moment, can help. It does help. So denying this aspect as part of ADHD? Not helpful, and you need to take some time to sit with your thoughts and see why you want to distance yourself so much from this to the point of invalidating others.
I'm in a support group for queer adults with disabilities (before I joined i didn't even know there *were* groups for that overlap, it's amazing and I love it) and we had our digital meeting on Monday. I shared your most recent flag update, where you had moved the new version to the public domain. Especially since we were talking about the ADA and its anniversary, it was very fitting. Everyone really liked it! Several people commented about the symbolism, in particular. So, just letting you know of some responses from outside tumblr. Thank you for putting it out there!
Thank you!
(Confession: At the time you first sent me this ask, the new version of the flag was not yet in the Public Domain. But it is, now! 🏴🎇🏴)
Shamelessly plugging the new version, again – especially since I want it to eclipse the old one:
To the extent possible under law, Ann Magill has waived all copyright and related or neighboring rights to Visually Safe Disability Pride Flag. This work is published from: United States.
And for those who want detailed ‘specs’:
The ratio of overall breadth to overall length is 3 to 4. The ratio of the flag’s overall length to the width of each stripe is 10 to 1 (So the ratio of the overall length to the width of the combined stripes is 2 to 1).
The Hexadecimal codes for each of the colors are:
The Field: #585858
The Red: #CF7280
The Yellow: #EEDF77
The White: #E9E9E9
The Blue: #7AC1E0
The Green: #3AAF7D
Now, as to the symbolism: in the original flag, the zigzags were meant to represent “navigating around barriers.” But instead, they were the barrier – so they were removed.
So let me put the story of the new symbolism into words – here and now– and thereby bring it into being:
The Black, as it was from the beginning, represents rage and mourning for those who’ve suffered violence and abuse because of their disabilities.
The five colors, in order from left to right, represent bodily disability, neurodivergent disabilities, invisible and/or undiagnosed disabilities (always in the center, because any disability can be invisible at any time), mental illness/emotional disabilities, and sensory disabilities.
The colored band starts at the top of the hoist, which is a starting place of honor, and ends at the fly, which represents moving outward into the world.
Walls and locked doors (behind which Disabled People have been hidden for too long) are right angles, and square. And so the colored band is a diagonal that cuts across those right angles, in defiance.
The five stripes are parallel, to represent our solidarity.
There! How’s that?
you are so valid!!
your traits/symptoms are valid!!
your experiences are valid!!
self-dx is valid!!
executive dysfunction is valid!!
nonmedicated ppl are valid!!
medicated ppl are valid!!
autistic + ADHD ppl are valid!!
stimming is valid!!
hyperfixations are valid!!
comorbidities are valid!!
all ADHDers are valid and your efforts don’t go unseen!! keep up the great work funky neurodivergent ppl!!!
Not the “oh Einstein was probably autistic” or the sanitized Helen Keller story. but this history disabled people have made and has been made for us.
Teach them about Carrie Buck, who was sterilized against her will, sued in 1927, and lost because “Three generations of imbeciles [were] enough.”
Teach them about Judith Heumann and her associates, who in 1977, held the longest sit in a government building for the enactment of 504 protection passed three years earlier.
Teach them about all the Baby Does, newborns in 1980s who were born disabled and who doctors left to die without treatment, who’s deaths lead to the passing of The Baby Doe amendment to the child abuse law in 1984.
Teach them about the deaf students at Gallaudet University, a liberal arts school for the deaf, who in 1988, protested the appointment of yet another hearing president and successfully elected I. King Jordan as their first deaf president.
Teach them about Jim Sinclair, who at the 1993 international Autism Conference stood and said “don’t mourn for us. We are alive. We are real. And we’re here waiting for you.”
Teach about the disability activists who laid down in front of buses for accessible transit in 1978, crawled up the steps of congress in 1990 for the ADA, and fight against police brutality, poverty, restricted access to medical care, and abuse today.
Teach about us.
It is still a balance of trying to let go and not be rigid despite knowing this. I am not expecting to reach perfection, but just getting through every day, a day at a time, and knowing that bending is okay.
if you feel like your bipolar doesnt present in the same way as other people’s its okay.
if you feel like you dont relate to other people with bipolar disorder its okay.
if you feel like you dont experience symptoms that you “should” or you do experience symptoms that you “shouldnt” its okay.
youre not secretly faking.
bipolar disorder is a complex mental illness that wont look the same on everyone. whatever it looks like on you is a normal way for bipolar disorder to look. you’re valid and loved and welcome in our community.
Are you having a hard time keeping yourself and your brain stimulated? Can you even stimulate yourself at all? Maybe you should try making a Dopamenu!
I made a Dopamenu today by following How To ADHD’s guide.
I recommend watching the video and trying to make yourself a Dopamenu as well. I used OpenOffice to make my Dopamenu, it’s a free alternative to Word and it works pretty much the same!
LINK TO MY GOOGLE DRIVE SO YOU CAN GET THE FILE & FILL IN YOUR OWN DOPAMENU YOURSELF