Waiting Is Hard But It's Better Than Having Nothing To Look Forward To.

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Today I made your favorite video. You’re welcome.

Modern-day weddings

I've been on a big number of weddings now. On fabulous ones, with huge fortunes invested and on plain ones, that were almost for free. On ones, where it wasn't the first marrige, and on ones, where it wasn't the last.

It makes me wonder: what kind of wedding did they want. Though the most obvious question is: why did they want to get married on the first place? It's totally out of fashion, as many say, it's just a piece of paper, or a bureaucratic approach of romance. These modern views shoot a bullet straight through my heart and everything I love about love.

Marriage is supposed to be the sacred covenant, which establishes, that the subjects really want to spend the rest of their lives together. In love. In olden days, divorce was forbidden, or at least scandalous. These days we interpret it as obligated suffering throughout life. But why? Love should and can last forever. It can follow you through all your years and can make them worth to live through. I have seen examples of this kind of attachment, and this is what keeps me believing in marriage.

A couple days ago I was at a wedding. It was a very small-scale one, simplistic but somehow magical, inspiring, wonderful and delightful. At the dinner, there was some quiet music, no dancing, no big party really, only a few games for the young couple. It sounds utterly boring, however, it was a true example of their care for each other. The guests weren't neglected, or such, only they were shown what real love looks like. And it looks like a fairy tale.

When there is real love between two, it deserves a chance. And this chance isn't just living together, or making love, or fancy gifts. It's way more than that. True, honest love needs a fireplace, where it can eternally blaze, keeping warm those around it. It needs reassurance of its value, lifespan and absoluteness. If you marry the person you love, you can create a home, a family, basically a life, without doubt, without insecurity. Okay, it needs a little more than marriage but marriage is a fine brick of the house of a great life.

I want to believe, that marriage can be the great start of the grandest advanture of our lives. :)

Querying

I finished my novel a couple months back and have been on and off the polishing business. But this week (ending today) I have finally arrived at the point of sending it to literary agents. It is an exhilarating and unnerving moment at the same time because I’m young, inexperienced and most of all, a terrible self-selling man. I hold it to be a huge injustice against artists, looking for representation, that they have to be able to promote themselves, market themselves because all through history it’s been common sense that they are the most shy, introverted people. Well, I’m not the typical introverted person but I still don’t like talking about what I’ve written. I like writing it fine, even discussing it but not like a used car salesman, who’s trying to point out why a wreck is still something to be wanted. Anyway, it’s beside the point--it would be if I had a point. I guess I’m just trying to get some feelings out of my system. I genuinely love the period of writing and creating but now I feel like an alien, who’s destined to fail, though I hope I’m destined to succeed but my emotions are hard to control. But now, off to bed, off to sweet dreams.

Do not speak unless you can improve upon the silence.

Quaker saying (via austinkleon)

(actually it’s a communication principle based on Kant’s maxims but yeah, way to go)

Work today

And it's been another day! (I took this phrase from POPS, which is an incredible YouTube series... just sayin') So yeah, I've been revising, grammatically, my book-to-be, which is funny cuz' this normally happens after getting a publisher. Yeah, I suck. But I'm past the half-line and the hardest part is behind me. I know I'm not a big name and not the best guy to pick to be an author of children's stories but I still live in my kid-self's magical dreamworld, so I couldn't get myself do anything else. 'Kay, maybe I lied because I enjoy practically everything and maybe next year I'm gonna start my studies as a mechanical engineer (farthest thing from any literature). BUT enough talk, cuz' it's getting out of control and it's nothing but self-obsessed, self-endearing blogging :P LOL I'm a little harsh but I consider it as a healthy sense of criticism over myself ;)

THEND (The + End = ThEnd)

Timing living

I've been all about timing lately. If it was up to me, I'd live the rest of my life in one week. But of course it's futile thinking.

A very successful man was lecturing last Saturday, and he was giving business and life-leading tips. There was one point in his speech, which grabbed my attention and it found its way to deep inside my head: there are things, which we would urge but it is not YET time for them.

Yesterday (last night) I read the Bible, book of Esther, and the main motive, which I noticed is, that in that historical period, everything was going according to a plan. The participants of the story must have been just as lost, as I feel sometimes but looking at their whole life ine one, I must admit, that every little step had its own meaning and importance.

Maybe life is like a house, where every brick has a number on them, determining where they must be put. If we were to try to put the bricks not in order, the whole building would simply collapse... There's only one way to make it right: in order, step by step.

:)

#pier #river #water #sport #nature

How to be afraid

Be afraid that you'll drop-out from school and you'll never find another one where you can fit in. Be utterly frightened that your book will never be published and that it's rubbish. Be genuinely fearful of the fact that your body can break-down in any minute because you have a disease that you think you're "too young for". Be worried about never finding a proper job. Be scared of never finishing anything. Be completely, undeniably and irreversebly drenched with fear and worries.

It's 00:12 here, in my parents' kitchen, where I write these lines, while listening to some classy music, that I invited to create the illusion of uppercase-life. But all this, around me, is built on I don't know what. I'm supposed to know, I ought to know but somehow I feel struck by worries. I've been the guy who never felt fear, the one who never regretted failure. But the ground has been shrinking under my feet and I wasn't paying attention and now I'm just floating in nothing. I feel miserable and defeated. My body is broken and so is my spirit. I know I shouldn't give in to the circumstances but I feel vulnerable and hurt. I'm immensely frightened.

Oh goodness, why am I saying this nonsense? This attitude in itself is the manifestation of everything I am against. The Bible says I should pray and do it with a thankful heart. It's extremely hard to do. But not impossible. I'm thankful for the love of my life (yes, I know we're young). I can't express how thankful I am for the promise of eternal life. This is something, that most of you can't put your fingers on. Well neither can I. But I feel that it is not a lie or fantasy. I believe because I have this splinter in my soul, shrieking: YOU'RE SAVED. And I am, indeed. My faith is not the one of the weak. It's the one of humans. Because none of us can fight or trick death. We all are subjects to it. We all are limited and vulnerable. We are creations. I find my hope and basically my life in the Creator of all of us. Even in these times. So, cheer up :)