I Was Trying To Be Funny But It Came Out As Really Mean: A 5-part Documentary Starring Me.

my fav XB v. Mumbo case bits

"Objection!" "On what basis?" "On the objection basis!" "Sustained."

"I will object, this outfit reminds me of Angus Young and I like that." "QUIET, FORMER CONVICT OF THE COURT!"

"This maaaaaannnnn... has no dexterity. I don't even know how he made it to this court."

"I'm thinking of pulling a curveball. We're installing....... a jury."

"As co-owner of-" [LOUD YAWN] "Don't listen to him. Don't listen to him. You're doing great 😊🥰😍"

"I'm so confused, I don't understand the law."

"OBJECTION!!! He was mean :("

"Yeah, back in your jail cell. I mean your chair >:)"

"......Am I able to represent myself?"

"Maybe he's more dexteritous than we thought."

"Here in AMERICA.... Mr Beans......"

"ITS CALLED MINECRAFT WE'RE ALL MINERS YOU FOOL"

"Scar, if I was to single out Cub, do you think that would go well for me?" "........I CALL CUB TO THE STAND!!!"

[All court proceedings stop for Bdubs to do a magic trick]

"I have a bit of tinnitus, so if we could get a doctor working on that...."

"Can't prosecute success 😏"

"He literally owns a mine, so maybe mention that, Scar?" "....He has a character that mimes things??" "NO-"

"That's not how sound works!" "OBJECTION!" "I'm objecting on physics!"

"Please step forward onto the punishment carpet." [PIT OPENS]

"As I was saying... uhm... uhgggghh, what was I saying before they all died and stuff..."

"Obviously I'm super successful regardless of the noise and everyone else being poor is just a skill issue. Right, cooooollllll, I think that was it."

"Do you have your law license?" "I do not, your honor." "Okay, then what are you talking for????"

"If this case is lost from our side..... all hope is lost.... because it's lost anyways."

"Here's my verdict... and my punishment, btw......" "Ohh well. Punishment probably implies what the verdict may well be."

[LOUD GIDDY GIGGLES] "Are you celebrating???? Don't celebrate!" "Oh, no sir, I was just crying."

"Mumbo, I sentence you to be the server's butler for two weeks. In hopes that you will learn manners."

"Docm77, you will be sentenced to TWENY FOUR HOURS AGAIN!!!! IN THE SKYBLOCK"

All Lifers’ average placements as of Wild Life

(excluding Real Life, values rounded to 1 dp)

1. Pearl - 3.2 (=)

2. Scott - 5 (+1)

3. Grian - 5.7 (+3)

4. Gem - 6 (-2)

4. Ren - 6 (+4)

6. Martyn - 6.7 (-2)

7. Joel - 6.8 (+4)

8. Impulse - 7.3 (-1)

8. Scar - 7.3 (-3)

10. Bdubs - 7.5 (-1)

11. Cleo - 7.7 (+2)

12. Etho - 8 (-2)

13. Bigb - 9.5 (-1)

14. Tango - 10.3 (=)

15. Skizz - 14 (=)

16. Lizzie - 14.3 (+1)

17. Jimmy - 14.5 (-1)

18. Mumbo - 16.3 (=)

notes + spreadsheet under the cut

i’m not even going to bother being neutral, pearl is the undisputed goat of the life series. it’s actually insane how good she is at this

gem’s average suffers quite a bit from WL, which is unfortunate, but it’s still only a sample size of 2

the spreadsheet isn’t in order - it’s in the order of their avg placements after SL, because i inputted them in that way

the biggest jumps are joel, who pulled off a stunning win, and ren, who achieved a decent third place after two seasons of absence

THIS, I GET SO ANXIOUS LOL

talking to mutuals guide

dming a mutual tricks and cheat codes

basic techniques for reaching out to mutuals

recent advances in talking with mutuals

talking to mutuals okay?

will my mutuals think im weird for talking to them

messaging mutuals in a mutual-honoring way

The sun, the stars, the moon and Mars,

The Earth, Pluto and that fucking car.

❤️💛💚

after watching several povs, there's something so striking about the way mumbo died.

he dies at home, first of all, which is notable in its own right because so much of his time was spent running about, usually in pursuit of kills. he dies with grian, too— to a thing grian created, no less, but it isn't actually grian's fault for once.

mumbo dies in that tall tower and when lightning strikes, from all across the server, everyone looks. their eyes land on that tower, and everyone is watching. even in grian's perspective, you can see everyone at renwood mound, lined up and staring. those at the bamlands looked on too.

they didn't see mumbo die, but they saw grian's grief. grian, who, throughout this season, has seemed cruel and untouchable to those outside of his circle due to his involvement with and knowledge of the wild cards. they watch grian immediately crumble under the weight of mumbo's death; several of them even explicitly comment, "look at grian, he's grieving, he's in mourning."

i like to think that, until that moment, grian was almost god-like in their minds; now, though, he's the quintessential concept of humanity. grief can be religious if you do it right, after all. even beyond the grian aspect though, isn't this just the most despairing omen of what's to come?

i mean, there's something about this image of a man fallen from grace, crying out as he holds the mangled corpse of his friend in the home they made together, high in the sky, on display for all the world to bear witness to. and the world did bear witness, be it with pity, horror, joy... it doesn't matter, because they saw.

the canary curse has been broken, but this was a fittingly foreboding, tone-setting image that did a stunning job filling its shoes

Etho: "Mumbo, can you convey emotion? Like, can you sound angry or happy or anything?"

Mumbo: "RAHHHHH! GRAAAAH!"

Etho: "OK, he's excited, he's excited."

Mumbo: "No, I'm angry!"

make it wild. make it fun. make it thrilling. make it unpredictable. make it tense. make it hurt. make it everything. make it nothing.

make it delicious.

Got a really cute blep photo of my dog buddy

Hermitblr please read

I know we're all freaking out about the current drama, mainly because we haven't really had drama before. However, this does not mean its over, our fandom is dead, and we're all doomed.

This is a classic case of immature behavior. Iskall's response, in MY OPINION, was very immature. He directed hate towards the hermits, who were just being responsible in managing a family friendly youtube server (and who were also willing to listen to his side). If he hadn't made a response, there would have been no issues within the community at all. The hermits handled it in the same way any business would. If anything, they could've waited a bit to announce his resignation from the server.

That's not the situation I want to talk about though. So many communities have fallen due to drama between creators. However, we do not have to fall that way. All we have to do is remember that people are not perfect. The hermits could've handled the situation better, but they also aren't gods. They are public figures in a sticky situation.

Don't hate guys. Don't send death threats. The drama isn't ours. Keep making fan content as usual. Let's show the world that we can get through a youtube controversy.

It doesn't have to end with us.

Stay strong guys

(tagging trafficblr & VH too bc the fandoms overlap)

Something fun to consider about Tango (and his character) is that he’s 100% capable of and comfortable with commanding authority

You mostly see it on streams, with the firm yet easy grip he has on his chat; but it’s also clear from how his servermates talk to and about him. When selling the hermit permit concept to his audience, Grian specifically invoked Tango (alongside Etho and Cub) as someone whose approval should set the audience at ease. Heck, this year Joe Hills told Tango in an episode that he’s respected “as an authority” on the server (therefore Tango can totally issue Scar a search warrant)

And yet in the life series, Tango has a reputation for letting people walk all over him!

I suppose a simple way of putting it would be that cc!Tango is able to command the respect and attention of his peers; but c!Tango (and especially traffic!Tango) lacks the confidence required. He’ll let the Crastle and BEST pressure him out of his lives one way or another; he’ll let Skizz and Jimmy talk him down from his righteous fury

And that’s a fine, clear reading! But lately I’ve been trying to see if I can reconcile the idea of a life series Tango who can take a position of power, who knows that he can, but for some reason refrains. Because there are moments where traffic!Tango flexes his authority, and they fascinate me

A favorite of mine occurs in Secret Life, during the game of tag. Tango loses the first round and drops out, leaving Scott, Bdubs, and Impulse to chase each other down. Bdubs, currently “it” and struggling, runs past Tango and Skizz. His distress is obvious. Then Tango, calmly and firmly, instructs Skizz to get off the horse he’s riding and give it to Bdubs. Skizz protests—Tango insists. Skizz dismounts.

Traffic!Tango wielded that authority for Bdubs of all people. Fascinating