Conflict Between An ENTJ Father & A INFP Daughter?

Conflict between an ENTJ father & a INFP daughter?

[see this post for relationship tips]

This relationship would be fraught with landmines. A father/daughter relationship is already unequal due to age and gender. On top of that, ENTJs can be very domineering, which could easily intrude upon an INFP’s sense of privacy and personal boundaries. Both would have to work hard to find some middle ground.

ENTJ (Te-Ni-Se-Fi) + INFP (Fi-Ne-Si-Te)

Potential for Conflict:

Te: ENTJs need structure and INFPs tend to resist it. Thus, ENTJs may see INFPs as ineffectual, disorganized, or undisciplined, and INFPs might see ENTJs as controlling, overbearing, or inflexible.

Ni v. Ne: ENTJs tend to look for one direction/path to take, whereas INFPs enjoy exploring ideas and possibilities. Thus, ENTJs might see INFPs as impractical, unfocused, or unreliable, and INFPs might see ENTJs as stubborn, closed-minded, or single-minded.

Se v. Si: ENTJs can use Se defensively to overemphasize achievement or recognition, which may strike INFPs as vain or misguided. INFPs can use Si defensively to obsess about (past) details, which may strike ENTJs as fussy, irrational, or stubborn.

Fi: ENTJs tend to have difficulty processing and expressing emotion, whereas INFPs value and stay in touch with emotions. Thus, ENTJs might see INFPs as oversensitive, withdrawn, or too passive, and INFPs might see ENTJs as repressed, unreflective, or judgmental.

ENTJs tend to be more assertive and outgoing than INFPs.

Opportunities for Growth and Balance:

This pair could complement each other well if they were mature enough to learn from each other’s strengths. ENTJs could learn from INFPs to be more reflective and treat people more sensitively. INFPs could learn from ENTJs to be more organized and goal-oriented.

Be more open to each other’s advice or suggestions. ENTJs should realize that INFPs tend to be more spontaneous and individualistic, so be more flexible in your expectations and do not try to place undue restrictions upon them. INFPs should realize that ENTJs tend to need more structure/routine, so help them maintain order and fulfill your responsibilities on time.

ENTJs should realize that INFPs are creative people who like to explore new ideas, so be more open-minded in exploring things with them. INFPs should realize that ENTJs are pragmatic people, so do not distract them with things they would consider a waste of time.

ENTJs should realize that INFPs have their own standards for success, so do not try to change them into something you want them to be. INFPs should realize that ENTJs tend to be driven and ambitious, so try to be more supportive and accepting of their efforts.

ENTJs should realize that INFPs tend to be empathetic people who are in touch with emotional life, so do not judge them as oversensitive. Be more open to exploring your feelings with them instead of dismissing or brushing them aside. INFPs should realize that ENTJ are not always good with exploring emotional life, so try to approach them more calmly and objectively.

In terms of conflict, it would be important that both learn to express dissatisfaction or negative emotion in a constructive way in order to resolve relationship issues properly. Never assume that you know what the other person is thinking, feeling, or intending without getting all the facts first. Both types tend to judge others too quickly and this could easily lead to frequent misunderstandings. ENTJs should remember that INFPs do not respond well to harsh criticism, and INFPs should remember to express needs/requests clearly and matter-of-factly instead of bottling up emotions or resentments.

Find an activity or project that you can work on together in order to build closeness through teamwork. Come to an acceptable compromise in terms of maintaining good E/I balance in shared activities.