Ruta Sepetys "Emilia;" Salt To The Sea // Cynthia Cruz "The Glimmering Room;" Diagnosis // @herchainsaregone

" 'I became good at pretending. I became so good that after a while the lines blurred between my truth and fiction. And sometimes, when I did a really good job of pretending, I even fooled myself.' // - Emilia, Salt to the Sea, Ruth Sepetys"

"The shame of being / Seen consumes me."

Two light yellow rectangles are next to each other. Messily written phrases are inside both of them.
The first one reads: "I'm terrified of change"
The second one reads: "I'm terrified of staying this way forever"

" 'I had always been calculated, distant, and unavailable, not out of any sort of strategy, but out of fear. Fear kept me from a lot of things, but perhaps the most poignant was that it kept me from love and opening myself to another person. It kept me from something fundamental: intimate human connection.' "

Screencap from "The Edge of Seventeen."
A teenage girl stands in a dimly lit room. She looks away from the camera off to the left. There are tears in her eyes.
The caption reads: "I think some deranged part of me likes thinking I'm the only one with real problems..."

" 'I did not like to be touched, but it was a strange dislike. I did not like to be touched because I craved it too much. I wanted to be held very tight so I would not break.' "

"I know what you wanted. You wanted someone to save you. / No, I wanted somebody to love me. / I think it's the same. It's the same. // Sue Zhao"

"You Are on the Floor Crying // And you / have been on the floor crying / for days."

Screencaps from an unknown movie.
Two people lay side by side together. The camera is positioned so that a young boy laying on his side is the only one in frame. The caption reads: "It's just my brain. // It never stops."

"Think I forgot how to be happy / Somethin' I'm not, but somethin' I can be / Somethin' I wait for / Somethin' I'm made for / Somethin' I'm made for"

Ruta Sepetys "Emilia;" Salt to the Sea // Cynthia Cruz "The Glimmering Room;" Diagnosis // @herchainsaregone // Jamie Varon Does The Universe Fight For Souls To Be Together? // The Edge of Seventeen (2016) dir. Kelly Fremon Craig // Marya Hornbacher Wasted: A Memoir of Anorexia and Bulimia // Sue Zhao // Clementine von Radics // pinterest // Billie Eilish What Was I Made For?

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People want to make 2024 like 2014. But I was a little kid in 2014 wanting to be a grownup so bad, now I am an almost adult wanting to go back to my childhood

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bellabiggestfan

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What a slut, I love him.

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bellabiggestfan

1 year ago

life will not stop until it stops.

so go out. wear those “special occasion” outfits since everyday is a special occasion because you’re alive. get your passport and travel. quit the job you’ve been dreading and go for the one you’ve been eyeing. compliment strangers. make new friends. visit museums and local coffee shops. move out of your hometown. learn new languages. go to a ballet. read books. ask a classmate to hang out. go to the theater by yourself. stop doom scrolling. stop wishing and start doing. stop saying no to yourself. if you don’t try, the answer will always be no. learn how to drive manual. take drifting classes. go back to school. start a business. learn how to make coffee. take lessons, doesn’t matter on what. keep learning! do pottery. get cool certifications. take horseback riding lessons. go skydiving. go to a paint or pottery class. be grateful. get a bartending license. go to a concert and let loose. book an airbnb. practice calligraphy. go snowboarding. try out new recipes. be well rounded. rearrange your room. watch documentaries. write stories! work out. take a dance class! many different styles of dance classes. learn ballet, no it’s never too late. never. explore high end gyms, go to a spa!!! learn how to code, video editing, photoshop, take photos! buy a film or disposable camera! vlog! upload carelessly on youtube or instagram! who cares about a nice feed. posting is for you. visit a car show. take motorcycle classes. learn how to draw. learn how to crochet and make cute things to use and sell. make candles. try out different styles of clothing, try something new and funky. dye your hair. cut your hair! model! apply for agencies, jobs, new opportunities. attend workshops and seminars for thousands of different topics.

it is never too late when the world is yours!! live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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bellabiggestfan

9 months ago

People often assume I'm a bore just because I'm quiet and take a while to open up. But they don't know that behind this dull exterior, I hide a colorful world. And if you knock on my door and be patient enough, I'd gladly welcome you to this rich inner world I hide within.

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bellabiggestfan

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live photos of me from tonight after working a 9 hr shift at the movie theater and hearing “president snow is hot” at least 14 times