In The Bed

how I feel when I look at people's profiles to see that Real Adults are following me/on my taglist (I am also (technically) an adult):

chapter 7.0 ☆ the lock and key theory

ss: 7

wc: 1,692

cw: swearing, food mentions, jokes about disability (from a disabled writer)

a/n: seeing my work while I'm innocently scrolling through the skz x reader tag is WILD y'all

yn's office hours were... interesting. during their first year as a part-time professor, it had initially been pretty boring. no one really came to their office. the students preferred to go to their more serious professor, as it were – and dr jang was definitely more serious and more experienced. she had more of a reputation. which was fine, yn was perfectly happy to lesson plan and do the more computer heavy side of their research in that time. they enjoyed working alone. no distractions.

the second year? not so quiet.

it had started small. justin being the main instigator. he was always one of the more outgoing ones. he came in once or twice a week, bothering them with questions about the material. things he probably could have figured out on his own, but it was kind of nice. 

now, yn had justin, and oftentimes a few of his friends, hanging out with them during office hours. doing homework, asking about assignments and essays and sometimes just yapping. and, strangely... yn liked it. sure, sometimes they had to use urban dictionary to decipher the young people language, and deal with the occasional millennial/old person joke, but it was pretty fun.

today was one of the more yappy days, clearly. justin did have his laptop out, precariously placed on his legs, but he was completely ignoring it except to make sure it didn't drop to the floor. instead, he was rambling on about how painstaking sewing beaded fabric was, and stitching and so on. don't get them wrong, yn was absolutely listening, but they were also having something close to a religious experience with today's cheesecake that dr jang had brought up from the cafeteria for them.

"–and i've already managed to break two needles on that stupid stuff, even though I spent ages unpicking the beads by hand, like, at this point, is it even worth it?"

"mmh," yn hummed sympathetically, taking another bite of cheesecake, chewing slowly. shifting on their desk chair, they crossed their right leg over their left to get more comfortable. "well, considering how much you've been talking about this for the last couple of months, I don't think you should give up now just because you're frustrated over some fabric."

justin huffed. "yeah, but it's annoying, and-" he stopped, and yn looked up at him from their lesson plan after a few moments of silence.

"what?"

"nothing, it's just..." he squinted at their knee. "has that tattoo on your knee changed? did you get a cover-up or something?"

"it's not a tattoo, it's my soul mark," yn said, before looking down at their knee in confusion. they were less averse to showing it now that it was pretty much unreadable. or... it was.

"what the fuck..." yn muttered to themselves. it wasn't completely as it was before all the knee surgeries, but it was definitely... closer than it used to be. and even through their sheer tights, they could read a few initials – b.c., s.c., and y.j.. well. shit.

"do soul marks... usually change?" justin murmured.

yn's area of expertise was not soul marks in any capacity, but it couldn't be a coincidence that the only three of their soulmates that they'd seen – and touched – were the ones who's initials they could read now. one? sure. two? weird, but okay. but three? yeah, something was definitely going on. yn hadn't heard of soul marks changing after interactions with soulmates, but then again, they also didn't know anyone else who'd had their marks fucked up, especially to the extent of their one. "uhm... not that I know of..."

"that's... weird."

"... yup."

"does it feel any different?"

"i would have noticed earlier if it did," yn replied.

"do you know why it's doing that?" justin asked curiously, leaning further over yn's desk to look closer at it.

"i... have an idea," yn said to their chagrin.

"cryptic."

"you're my student, you don't need to know about my love life," yn said. "i'm sure you have much more pressing matters to worry about. like... studying..."

"boo. that's boring," justin said, heaving a sigh and draping himself over the back of his chair.

"i feel i should remind you that you have a test next week," yn said flatly. "and while studying may be boring, it does help your results." yn left out that they had not been the most avid studier during their university years. do as i say and not as i do, right? justin didn't have to know.

not that he listened, continuing his impassioned rant about beaded fabric and other things, while yn silently had a mini crisis over the new development in the soulmate department.

"hi," yn mumbled, frowning down at the pan in front of them. they were... attempting to cook dinner, their phone set up against the back wall of their kitchen counter. but it was one of those days when they had to drag a chair into the room so they didn't have to stand up, so it wasn't a particularly nutritious meal. still better than not eating, though.

"hey." the audio from minji's end was... crackly. the connection in the gym she went to was shitty, to say the least. and she'd chosen to accept the video call while on the treadmill, which was a choice, for sure.

chika giggled quietly, and the half-drunk margherita that she held told yn she was at least a little tipsy. her location was unclear, but it was clear she'd found some room away from the main party where she wouldn't be disturbed for a while. "guess who I'm with," she hummed out in a sing-song voice, before turning the camera to bring her companion into frame.

yn, at this point, wasn't surprised at who it was. it was, in their mind, only logical – chika was at a versace event, so was hyunjin, and fate seemed to have it out for them recently, so why wouldn't it be him?

"we're hiding," chika whispered. "it's very loud. and there are too many people. i am quite overstimulated."

"hello," hyunjin said shyly, giving a small wave to the camera.

yn, for all the repressing of their feelings, still couldn't deny how cute he was. it was just one of those things. they suspected it had a little to do with the fact that he was their soulmate... but it was also just one of those things.

"so, what was the stuff in the group chat about your soul mark changing?" chika asked, a shit-eating grin spreading across her face, as if one of my soulmates wasn't unfortunately right beside her.

"shut the fuck- oh, my god, get your furry ass off my counter!" yn complained, getting up off their chair to grab bingus, who was making his daily escapade into the kitchen cabinets. honestly, they wouldn't really have a problem if it was the ones at ground level, but trying to haul the cat's fluffy body out of the top shelf of the higher cupboards every day was just... it took far too much effort. they sighed, walking back into frame, holding bingus like the little baby he was, slumping back down into their chair, breathing a little heavy. "he's such a pest."

"just grabbing your cat has you breathing like that? damn..." minji said with a slight laugh, the background noises of her running slowing down as she lowered the speed of the treadmill.

"yeah, well, health is wealth and I am dirt poor, if you catch my drift," yn said, scratching bingus behind the ears and kissing his little forehead.

hyunjin gasped from the other side of the camera, his eyes going wide. "you have a cat?"

yn chuckled, picking up their phone to hold the camera closer to their kitty. "he's called bingus. i woke up to him sitting on my face this morning."

hyunjin muttered something that the microphone didn't manage to pick up, but evidently chika found it absolutely hilarious in her drunken state. "he's so cute..."

bingus meowed gently at the camera, blinking his wide eyes innocently like he wasn't just trying to use yn's ramen stash as a cat bed, instead of literally any other surface in their apartment. he was a strange one. although, maybe that was just cats in general.

"that he may be, but he also made five escape attempts in the past hour and was sulking until about ten minutes ago because I wouldn't let him risk his life in seoul traffic," yn replied in exasperation.

minji sighed sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "you clearly don't love him then."

"yes, i hate my cat and want him to live an unfulfilling life. he reminds me of that often. maybe i shouldn't have trained him to come with me on my bike. i've given you a taste for danger, hm?" yn smiled down at bingus, kissing his cheek.

"you have a bike?" hyunjin asked.

"yeah," yn confirmed. it was pink, and had hello kitty detailing – what more could you want?

"they're objectively less safe, you know that, right?" minji said. it was a conversation they'd had many times, but it always ended the same.

"i never said it made sense," yn protested. "but, unfortunately, i don't have the luxury of being able to walk everywhere, i'm scared of cars, and me and public transport don't mix well because it's usually too busy to sit down, so... this is my solution."

"i think we should go back," chika said, finishing the conversation abruptly. "i think donatella has some attachment issues," she whispered, not that it was any quieter.

yn chuckled. "alright. see you in a few days."

minji's pout was practically radiating through the screen as she said her goodbyes, to no surprise. it wasn't just donatella versace who had attachment issues.

and so, yn was left alone with their thoughts again while they ate their noodles – and simultaneously tried to stop bingus eating them as well. hyunjin was... nice to talk with. not that they expected otherwise, but... a part of them wished he wasn't. it would have made it easier to reconcile staying away for so long.

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chapter 9.0 ☆ imposter syndrome

ss: 18

wc: 829

cw: food mentions, mentions of physical fighting

a/n: I lost two years of my life trying to edit that photo if it looks bad don't tell me (also the initials l . y are l/n y/n if you're confused)

"okay, okay, hear me out," minji paused, chewing a heroically sized mouthful of pizza, holding her finger up as if to hold her place in the conversation.

it went on for just long enough to be awkward, and yn took a sip of their soda – as if they weren't already stewing in a pool of their own embarrassment at this whole situation. and it was embarrassing, to say the least. how long would it have taken them to get to this point if not for some... some bitch trying to steal their soulmates? honestly, yn thought they would have the opposite reaction to this sort of thing. the other yn – she was pretty, able-bodied from what they could tell, and she seemed remarkably put together. a far cry from their own life. she seemed to be everything yn wanted for their soulmates.

well, except for the fact that she was almost undoubtedly a sasaeng. stray kids' management had gone to great lengths not to show their soul marks, but there had been a few slip-ups over the years, and despite their best efforts, it had come out that the group were soulmates – and that there was one more person included. that came with a lot of failed attempts of stalkers trying their best to convince they boys that they were their soulmate. up until now, it had always been fairly mediocre attempts, and/or easy to see through. it was different this time, almost indistinguishable from yn's own (before the accident).

but apart from that, theoretically, she was perfect for them. and yn... wasn't. but that didn't stop the pit of frustration burning deep in their stomach – frustration at themselves, mostly, at the world, and everything else. although, that last one was the more general ire for living made worse by this whole debacle.

sometimes, privately, yn wondered if it really was just a big coincidence, if they really were their last soulmate. it just felt like they... didn't fit. and, just occasionally, they wished it was that way – although, not really. they didn't know the others, and didn't really know how to feel about them just yet, but the idea of chan being with someone else made yn's chest clench painfully.

"what if," minji started again, "what if you showed up at the company building with like, one of those massive rose bouquets and blasting a sad song on your boombox?"

"well, first of all," yn said, "where are the funds for this rose bouquet? with the price of everything these days, i'm not sure i even have enough for twelve. secondly, a boombox? how old do you think i am? contrary to apparently popular belief, i do not have a boombox. and, you know, i think security wouldn't let me within 50 metres of the building."

"darn."

the quiet clicking of lego pieces broke the silence between the poignant lack of ideas in the brainstorming session. it was difficult, coming up with a way to explain to your best friend that you'd been hiding the fact that you were his last soulmate that made you look least like a buffoon. it was unavoidable, looking like an idiot, but surely there had to be a way too minimize the damage, right?

it wasn't going very well so far.

yn sighed heavily to themselves. any angle you looked at it, it was bad. the problem being self aware was exactly that – being self aware. the second-hand embarrassment at their own actions had suddenly hit them like a freight train early that morning during classes. it had not been a pleasant day, with every free moment spent shrivelling into their own skin in a very visceral reaction. god, it was just... ugh.

the doorbell rung out through their apartment, breaking the spell that had fallen over the three of them. bingus trotted in, complaining loudly at the intrusion. his fur was all scruffed up, indicative of his 47th nap of the day that he'd just been rudely awoken from.

chika furrowed her brows, glancing in the direction of the door. "you got a package coming or something?"

"uhh... not to my knowledge..." bingus jumped up onto yn's lap, circling a few times before climbing up onto their shoulders like a parrot. chika reached over to brush his fur back into place, eliciting a deep, crackly purr as he pushed his face against her hand. "i'll go see who it is..."

yn stood up tentatively, gently supporting bingus's ass so he didn't fall off during the process, before walking over to the door, grabbing the keys off the hook next to it and unlocking it.

"hey," minho said conversationally, like he hadn't just shown up at yn's door unceremoniously.

"hi," yn mumbled, forcing the word out. they couldn't decide where to look, the doorframe taken up by not only minho, but seungmin and hyunjin as well, the other two appearing at least a little more awkward about the situation.

"we know."

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a/n: if you're wondering I do find joy in torturing people with cliff hangers

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chapter 0.75 ☆ my destiny

ss: 18

cw: mentions of covid, mentions of vomiting, coming out (accidental), friendship + family issues, doctors being assholes, medical angst, mentions of food, dividers between time jumps

a/n: yes there's another backstory chapter lol. 0.5 was getting too long to fit it all. click for quality

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a/n: are all the trials and tribulations from experience?... no comment

taglist (10/50): @sunfk88 @estella-novella @boo-ven9eance @0sunshinecryptid0 @idiotmaterial @tearsofgenshin @tirena1 @cowboylikemalika @d3kstar @heyheyitsmk

LOL thanks

chapter 6.0 ☆ have you been flossing?

ss: 16

wc: 311

cw: swearing, mentions of car accidents, mentions of the french, yn is bad at feelings, teeth stuff???

a/n: 56 followers?? I never thought this many people would like my shit lol thank you guys 🥲🫶

updates are probably going to slow down a bit because I'm going back to college next week (I am writing this instead of doing my homework, how did you know?)

also the amount of research I did on dental implants for this one chapter just for the most random plot point... idk anymore

it had been... well, annoying, to say the least, the time after yn's old crowns had been removed. it hadn't been strictly necessary to go around wearing a mask everywhere they went, but it was just... weird, right? walking around with holes in their smile. luckily, it had only taken few days for the new crowns to be made – silver, this time, as recommended – and they did look pretty cool. a little cold in their mouth, though. yn supposed they would get used to it.

however, the last person yn expected to see as they were walking out of the dentist's office was... dear lord... yang jeongin. luckily, it wasn't a long interaction, or even an interaction at all, for that matter, they both just brushed past each other in the doorway. but it was enough to set yn's palms tingling, something that lasted until they made it back to their apartment.

hopefully jeongin hadn't noticed. even if he had, there was only a slim chance that he'd be able to track them down, anyway.

although there was a part of yn that wanted him to try. not that they would acknowledge it, of course, but after that interaction with changbin the other day, it was hard not to wonder what it would be like if they were to finally give in to the whole soulmate thing. maybe it would be... nice. 

but the combination of pride and shame that had welled up inside them over time stopped yn from making any move themselves. they had gotten used to being alone, and that sticky feeling of sadness that clung to them whenever they saw concert clips, or skz code, or their lives. they were better off without each other, yn told themselves.

but they weren't sure how true that was anymore.

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Being neurodivergent and chronically ill is crazy because you already have issues with executive functions and then your body hinders you even more. AND your sensory issues are heightened by the pain you feel.

chapter 4.0 ☆ death of achilles

ss: 9

wc: 1,143 ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

cw: mentions of food, swearing, apple slander (deserved)

these types of days were some of yn's favourite days. the slow days, when they were finishing up a paper, when they could just sit at a cafe with their noise cancelling headphones and do the final editing. the days when they could rationalise buying a few too many sweet treats because didn't they deserve a reward?

it was a little less enjoyable this time, as yn had woken up at stupid o'clock in the morning and had been unable to get back to sleep, so they were at the cafe far earlier than usual, but... it was still better than having to supervise second year students fucking around in the lab.

they had learned their lesson, and yn didn't order any caffeinated drinks, otherwise their shaky hands would have been no use with their temperamental laptop. it was, admittedly, on its last legs, but after eight years it was like their child and yn was unwilling to part with it until it was really, truly, unfixable. but that day was not today.

yn fiddled with their pochacco usb absentmindedly as they read through their paper, fixing spelling errors from the words that were evidently too scientific for autocorrect to handle, no matter how many times they put it into their personal dictionary. at this point, they'd just accepted it, and were resigned to going through the entire thing. it wasn't like it was terrible, anyway, but after seeing it almost every day for the last six months it was getting a little old.

luckily, in the midst of the slow, calm morning, fate had decided to make the day more exciting. because apparently, a calm morning was not in the cards.

it all happened so fast – someone bumped into someone else, a muffled curse, and the next second, three drinks had their contents emptied onto yn's laptop.

thankfully, yn had the presence of mind to pull the usb containing their paper out of their laptop, wiping it on their sleeve, hopefully before any damage could be done. after almost deleting their entire thesis during their bachelors degree… they weren't taking any chances. so while it would suck losing the editing, they had backups, so it wouldn't be the end of the world. but their laptop?

oh, it was not having a good time.

the screen flickered a few times, before shutting down, unprompted. and yn had a feeling that this time, it wasn't powering up again, especially with all the liquid currently seeping into the hardware through the gaps in the keyboard, and dripping off the table onto the floor as well as into yn's lap.

but, of course, that wasn't the end of it, because when yn looked up at the masked face of the person who spilled all that coffee over their laptop? seo changbin.

seo fucking changbin. of all the people in south korea, it had to be one of the eight people yn was trying so hard to avoid.

they just sat there in shock for a few seconds, staring down at their soaked laptop, before he started apologizing.

"i am so sorry-" changbin started before yn cut him off.

"it's fine," they said quickly. it wasn't fine, not really, but those words came out of their mouth on reflex.

finally, yn stood up, cringing at the feeling of their damp trousers clinging to their skin, knowing it would probably stain, and also knowing that it definitely looked like they pissed themselves now.

"oh, let me," changbin said, pulling off his jacket and tying it around their waist, covering up the worst of the spill.

both of them seemed to kick back into gear at that point, grabbing handfuls of napkins to try and mop up the liquid, to marginal degree of success. in the end they were ushered out of the cafe, leaving them standing awkwardly on the pavement outside, while yn tried to not make eye contact with the billboard showing a close up of changbin's face. it was like the universe was taunting them.

"sorry," changbin apologised again. "i could pay for the repairs, if you want…"

"you don't have to," yn replied, turning their gaze down at their shoes, and shifting their weight over to their new cane – which didn't start creaking immediately, a definite improvement from the last one. "it's pretty old. i'm not sure it can be revived another time."

"i'll buy you a new one, then."

"no, you don't have to do that," yn protested, but they got the idea that it would need a lot more to convince him not to.

"why is your laptop called achilles?" changbin asked, bemusement evident on his face.

yn shrugged. "when i was setting it up, you could name it... for, like, bluetooth or something. one of my old friends named it."

"right..." he replied, clearly not understanding.

yn laughed quietly to themselves, the conversation going quiet again as the pair walked into the electronics store. at least they had an idea of what they wanted – yn had become quite aware over the last few months that their laptop was... close to death, and had been preemptively window shopping for a new one, so they just made a beeline for the one they'd been looking at.

"not going to milk this for something more expensive? like a macbook?"

yn shot changbin a withering look. "macbooks suck. they lose battery in, like, 20 minutes, then they overheat when you charge them. the layout is awful and completely different from almost every other laptop for literally no reason and they're so expensive for what? to be unusable without a software update that makes everything worse? spare me."

changbin muffled his laugh behind his hand. "all my friends are weird about iphones, too. they're so much worse, i don't get it."

"right? i just want a good device, and apple is worse than everything else, as well as being way more expensive. the hype is completely undeserved."

"so... this one, then?" he asked, pointing at the model they were standing in front of.

yn nodded. it wasn't the best, or most expensive, but it had all the things they needed, and it weighed less than seven bricks, as minji had so aptly put it.

it didn't take long for the new laptop to be purchased, and changbin handed it over with a new litany of apologies. yn accepted it with an embarrassed smile, unable to stop the hitch in their breath as their hands brushed his.

"i, um... thank you," yn muttered out, averting their gaze. they felt the tips of their ears heat up, in a way that had nothing to do with the weather, accompanied by a sinking feeling in their gut. somehow they knew that it was going to become a lot harder to hide from their soulmates from now on.

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a/n: is this a weird plot point? maybe. but I have free will and I can write what I want

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chapter 5.0 ☆ jeogiyo noona hokshi namjachingu isseoyo

ss: 20

cw: swearing, nude + nipple mentions (no pictures, nothing graphic), descriptions of pain, reader called 'mama' once

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Hi! Could i please be added to the taglist for U? Sorry if i missed a form or something, didn’t see it on the masterlist

yes you can!

there isn't a form as of yet, you didn't miss anything :)