Latest Posts by badweatherbartender - Page 2
This guy raised an abandoned moose calf with his Horses, and believe it or not, he has trained it for lumber removal and other hauling tasks. Given the 2,000 pounds of robust muscle, and the splayed, grippy hooves, he claims it is the best work animal he has. He says the secret to keeping the moose around is a sweet salt lick, although, during the rut he disappears for a couple of weeks, but always comes home…. Impressive !! MINNESOTA CLYDESDALE
Graffitto in the stall of my local queer furry bar
I hate when people ask me about my preference but I don’t understand their preference level. Like yes I kinda want Chinese food 10% more than I want a sandwich but if you want a sandwich like 40% more than Chinese food then I would say it’s totally reasonable we get sandwiches.
Dogs have a fascinating range of personhood. Like they're all on a sliding scale, on one end you've got the kind of dog that's literally just some guy, like that's your uncle's roommate whom you share an awkward silence with when your uncle gets up to go get something and you two don't know each other well enough to make small talk.
And then on the other end of the scale, that's barely even an animal. Not a single thought in there. That's just the world's happiest battering ram.
you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it
example: you absolute coat hanger
A unique intelligence....
the tv show "the torment nexus game is bad" being a poignant critique of wage slavery and class disparity and capitalism that is popularized in the west by big tv corporation bc it makes them money, then being turned into "the torment nexus game is bad: the game show" by the most souless and therefore most popular youtuber because it makes him money, so then big tv corporation makes their OWN "the torment nexus game is bad: the OFFICIAL game show" to make even more money off the "the torment nexus game is bad" fictional critique of capitalism tv show, and then it turns out that many allegations of torment nexus-like conditions come out of both reality tv game shows but there aren't any consequences. and then Bigger Corporation goes to the soulless youtuber and is like. lets make another "the torment nexus game is bad" -esque game show to make us a lot of money because the people stuck in the torment nexus love that shit. it's called "the torment nexus game is fun :-)" and then the writer of the "the torment nexus game is bad" posts on twitter that he fucking hates his own story and what it has become. you would think this is a plot from a heavy-handed early black mirror episode but it is unfortunately a plot from real life
if you don’t know the difference between a hare and a rabbit you’ve never gazed into the cold wild eyes of a hare and known that if it could speak it would speak backwards
im surprised no one is talking about how elon musk paid people to make high level hardcore characters for him so he could claim it was all his work on livestream only to be immediately exposed as he couldn't even play the game right
researching 17th century piracy tonight. came across this:
One popular pastime amongst pirates was the mock trial. Each man played a part be it jailer, lawyer, judge, juror, or hangman. This sham court arrested, tried, convicted, and “carried out” the sentence to the amusement of all. (x)
how widespread could this have really been? how would it have gotten passed from ship to ship? can you imagine a pirate crew at a tavern, bragging to another pirate crew about how good they are at playing pretend? why was their go-to game “legal system”? were they performing incisive satire? is this some sort of pirates-only inside joke that’s been lost to the ages?
sweet treats should not cost money they should come as complimentary gift for not giving up
By the way, It Could Happen Here and Behind the Bastards are great podcasts by Robert Evans and friends.
So I had a hysterectomy today (hooray!) and I brought along my stuffed orca, Shamu, as a comfort object. And everyone i interacted with during my pre-op was like "Oh! Who's this?" so I was telling them all about him, how he's been with me since I was 9 and gone on every single vacation and road trip, and they were telling me about their own stuffed buddies (one lady said she still has hers after 40 years!) and all of this while I was signing consent forms and providing a list of the things I'd brought with me, you know, small talk.
So then a nurse comes over and goes "Okay, I've got some stickers I'll put on your things so we know they're yours" and I'm like "OK cool" so she puts a sticker on my coat and stickers on my bags of clothes and then she turns to Shamu and I'm like "oh I guess he gets a sticker too"
But no. She pulls out a hospital bracelet that's an exact copy of mine and slaps it on his tail, like so:
And i was delighted by this, so I took a picture to send to my friends, who were equally delighted, and were cracking me up with their reactions (like so:)
Anyway, they take me back and put me under, and when I awake groggily a few hours later it takes me a minute to get my bearings, so I don't notice Shamu at first. But then I realize he's tucked up next to me in the gurney, so I grab him, and my hand touches gauze.
And I'm like "huh?" so I look at him and I realize
They gave my fucking orca a hysterectomy
we really devolved as a society when we stopped using fully painted pictures on romance novels and started using cheap photoshop instead
it's not that I need a quiet day or a day off exactly; it's that I need a pocket of time that exists entirely outside of linear time as we know it that would allow me to get things done without time passing in the real world, and frankly, I don't think that's too much to ask.
my brother kept playing with two ssds so I said "aw you're making them kiss" and he answered "yeah. and there's a 500 gb difference between them. barely legal" I'm going to blow him up
My favorite detail about Jurassic Park is that it has a baked-in justification for any and all retcons it might need to make due to paleontology advancing forwards.
Because there is not a single dinosaur that has ever appeared in Jurassic Park.
Not one. Not in the books. Not in the movies. Not ever.
"Now what John Hammond and InGen did at Jurassic Park was to create genetically engineered theme park monsters." ~Alan Grant
Grant says that in a moment of cynicism. It's part of his arc for the film. But it's not inaccurate. What Jurassic Park has, what it's always had since the very first novel, are "Mostly Dinosaurs".
"And since the DNA is so old, it's full of holes! Now, that's where our geneticists take over!" ~Mr. DNA
It's impossible to recover a fully intact gene sequence from an ancient amber mosquito. Cloning a pure dinosaur would have been completely impossible, and so the park filled in the gene sequence with whatever works. Frog. Lizard. Bird. Whatever they need to get the result they are trying to get.
Every single dinosaur is a chimeric beast made up of mostly dinosaur and a bunch of other stuff that some scientists thought would achieve the appropriate dinosaur-like result.
"Nothing in Jurassic World is natural! We have always filled gaps in the genome with the DNA of other animals. And if the genetic code was pure, many of them would look quite different." ~Dr. Henry Wu
Which, from a writing perspective, is fucking genius. Because now you have a preset excuse for each and every plot hole your movie has.
Like. Why don't the raptors have feathers? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why do dilophosaurs spit venom? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why do T-Rexes have movement based vision? Oh, they don't. But Rexy does. Because of her chimera DNA.
Why is the Spinosaurus so fucking big? Because of the chimera DNA.
Why are the velociraptors mislabeled? Because Hammond's a dipshit.
Like. I've always marveled at the way Jurassic Park started out by giving itself a blanket excuse to be wrong about every single thing it ever said about the central attraction of its franchise. It's honestly beautiful, and allows the series a degree of immortality well into the era where we know better about its animals.
on a scale from Essek Thelyss to Ira Wendagoth, how dedicated are you to holding onto the slight of Ludinus Da'leth fucking over your research aims
If you’ve never been all that disobedient before, you can and should start really, really small. For example, you can wear the slightly revealing or gloriously trashy-looking garment that makes your mom roll her eyes and sigh despondently every time she sees you put it on. You will feel judged and disapproved of when you put it on, but that is fine. Your goal is to sit with the uncomfortable feelings and continue with your desired behavior anyway. Saunter down the steps in that highlighter-yellow Garfield crop top with your chest hair flowing over the neckline, and harness as much courage as you can muster. It’s okay if you feel like a beacon of sin. Just keep it moving. Your emotions are not the target here. Your behavior is. You can feel however you are feeling in the moment so long as you keep acting like you’re free. Do you have a favorite TV show that a partner or roommate vocally hates? Try watching that show around them without apologizing or defensively joining them in mocking the program. At first, you probably won’t be able to enjoy the show while in their presence. You’ll feel self-conscious about everything they find annoying or cringe-inducing about the show, and so focused on their reactions that you can’t relax. That’s okay. Allow those feelings of embarrassment and guilt to exist and pass through you without giving up. In time, you will be able to ignore these reactions more, and enjoy the activity. You want to see the needle of discomfort moving down just a little, like Link’s body temperature meter in Tears of the Kingdom when he puts on a breathable outfit in a hot climate. You’re not gonna go from roiling hot to frosty cold in an instant. But after a certain point, you won’t be actively in pain anymore. Things are just gonna slowly suck less, bit by bit, until they are finally okay. That’s true of most major life adjustments, I find. Probably the best way to develop self-advocacy skills while growing in your distress tolerance is simply by telling other people no. Do this without explanation or hedging. Nitpicky aunt wants to hear all about your dating life? “No, I don’t want to talk about that.” Unreliable ex-friend wants you to do them the tiny favor of moving their entire home gymnasium into a new third story walk-up? “No, I’m not available.” Manipulative shift supervisor wants to cajole you into sticking around for another three hours to close? “No.” As many advice columnists smarter than me have already intoned, “no” is a complete sentence. “No” requires no explanation. “No” is not subject to debate. “No” can be repeated over and over like a broken record if a disrespectful person acts like they can’t hear it. And you can walk away at any time to make your “no” physical and impossible to argue with, when someone has proven they don’t respect your boundaries.
you can read or listen to the full piece for free here
Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.
domming for a werewolf that takes notes for you...makes him your lycan sub scribe.