" I Lost Myself Trying Not To Lose You."

" Love me from the words that I write to the words that I don't."

-H.Asteid

Autumn Love

Our love was softly subdued, in shades of autumn amber hues. With leaves crunching beneath our feet, it was his love that began to destroy me.

Reciting our beautiful vows before the lord, we danced on a windless October night, to a haunted symphony of melodious chords.

Lost in the darkness of his hollow eyes, the exquisite mask he’d designed slowly fell, into decaying autumn leaves on the ground, and his love withered without ever making a sound.

© September, 2020  Kathlene

I'm made of excerpts I personally extracted from the books I read, of songs' lyrics, of blankets and of cups of coffee.

My mind is either a gray cloud or a current of air violently whirling in a spiral.

Every night, my soul howls for the moon; my hands bleed words about tragedy and doom.

These dark brown orbs loathe mirrors but would always tear up at the sight of the sea, maple trees in autumn, of beautiful people.

And my heart only yearns for one thing. . .

To feel things in colour.

-H.Asteid

We will survive!

Oh you better watch us thrive

Yes, you did drown our dreams

But we can dive, we can swim

We'll dragged them back up on the surface

With our famous brand of determination and resilience

We'll pick up all the shattered pieces

You see , the harder the wind blows,

the tighter we hold on

The harder you try to pulverize our hopes,

the more you give us nothing but a choice to be strong

- H.Asteid

I was born with reds and violets tattooed on my stomach, shards of glass in my eyes and scars on my back. I never really knew how to talk in a velvety voice or hold flowers in my hands without crushing them in the process. The love introduced to me isn't the kind of love that'd wish you sweet dreams. The love I've known brought me nightmares with me crying, laughing at my fallen tooth on the carpet.

So please be patient with me. I'm still learning not to destroy the things I love.

---H.Asteid🍁

" You still have a lifetime to be who you really wanna be."

-H.Asteid

"I'm scared." Looking up at the night sky, trying not to fall apart.

I felt him scoot closer to me.

"Scared of what?"

I hesitated for a moment.

" I... I'm scared of the thought that this might be the last time I'll be making coffee for my Dad, the last time I'll iron and fold his clothes. I'm scared of the thought of his heart breaking when I'm not here anymore.

I'm so scared that I feel like I won't be able to witness the sun shine again, that today might be my last day."

I said looking down at my shaking hands, suddenly ashamed of my revelation.

But his next words gave my heart a sense of something foreign...Hope.

" You're scared.

Isn't that enough reason to stay?"

-H.Asteid

It was death that made autumn beautiful.

- H.Asteid

"And if you're going to lose me, I'm going to make it so hauntingly beautiful you'll remember every second of it."

-H.Asteid