Aureostuff - Obey Me Stuff

Obey me Hogwarts AU headcanons

Basically the title, only doing Lucifer, Mammon, Satan, and Beel bc their the only ones I can think of which house they belong to. For each HC, MC will be in their house. 

Lucifer

Obviously Slytherin.

Is the house prefect.

Will get perfect scores on all his exams.

Will get into the ring on the Apparition test on his first try.

Will bully first years when he gets the prefect badge because of his authority. MC being the other prefect would tell Lucifer to go easy on the kids.

If MC and Lucifer were dating he’d most likely help the first years for MC because he doesn’t want a puny brat talking to his lover. The first year would end up running away saying things like ‘Never mind, I can just do this by myself’ and ‘Oh I forgot Professor Solomon asked me to do something for him’ because Lucifer can be very scary

Would sometimes skip class to go make out with MC.

Favorite subject is Charms.

Mammon

Gryffindor because of how reckless he is and how daring and brave he is to steal stuff, because that is something I can’t do.

Will beg MC for help on tests, MC obliged bc their nice.

When he takes the apparition test, he doesn’t move a single bit and ends up failing.

When MC ends up becoming Gryffindor prefect and he doesn’t he’ll be all pouty and jealous. But when he see’s the other Gryffindor prefect all jealousy is forgotten and he always follows you on your prefect duties, to make sure the other prefect doesn’t do anything to you.

Favorite subject is Transfiguration.

Satan

The book boy is Ravenclaw? Never expected that.

Is Hermione Granger, but more cynical.

Just like passes Lucifer, he passes his apparition test on his first attempt.

Would be a very strict prefect. Is basically Percy Weasley but doesn’t constantly clean his badge and doesn’t think that just because he’s a prefect doesn’t mean he’s all powerful.

MC and Satan: Bookworms (MC is a bit toned down on books compared to Satan)

Satan is basically MC’s study-buddy. 

Favorite subject is potions.

Beelzebub

The precious baby is a Hufflepuff.

First day at Hogwarts. Will eat almost everything at the Hufflepuff table. Maybe even the plates if he’s really hungry.

Is not the prefect, but neither is MC. 

Will sneak into the kitchens at night, and the house-elves love him, they’d even remember when his birthday is to give him a giant basket full of food.

Will get splinched on the apparition test, (most likely because he was hungry and wasn’t focused on the location of where they were supposed to apparate.)

Favorite subject is Care of Magical Creatures.

i dont think there is a word yet that can describe how absolutely vile israel is. they killed thirsty children by targeting a water tank.

how inhumane do you have to be to support this, to fund this, to excuse this, to ignore this and pretend as if it isn’t going on?

* news was originally shared by Ramy Abdul, chairman of Euromed Human Rights Monitor

it is also not the first time Israel has targeted water tanks . this is how some Palestinians in Gaza get water supplies since the IDF threatens to shoot them.

Ramadan is coming up and I can’t stress enough how much Palestinians have never got the chance to experience one normal Ramadan for 75years

You may not have been subjected to this, but as a person from an Arabic country, every Ramadan from every year there’s always headlines of Israeli iof soldiers or Israeli extremist settlers attacking Palestinians during Ramadan, especially Palestinian worshipers trying to pray in the al aqsa mosque

It’s happens almost every single year

Ramadan is suppoused to be Muslim people’s month of worship, of Baraka and it is very important to Muslim people

But Palestinians never ever experienced a normal Ramadan because Israel attacks them Viciously

Almost

Every

Single

Fucking

Year

And I will dare and say that Israel does it on purpose, it does it every Ramadan on purpose

And now, this year, with Ramadan being only a few weeks away, I doubt that they’ll have a normal Ramadan, not in the West Bank, and not in Gaza

All what I have to say here is that Israel will still follow this trend, something bad is gonna happen this Ramadan, keep an eye on Palestine during Ramadan

Anger Issues

Brothers with an MC who has anger issues, cusses like a sailor and is also very strong, but is very supportive and caring.

Gender Neutral Reader

Lucifer

He can get quite annoyed with you at times since your outbursts tend to lead you to breaking anything within a five kilometer radius, and that includes his brothers.

He’ll have to lock you up in your room to prevent anything else from breaking. 

Sometimes when you get REALLY angry at him, you’ll end up swearing at him so fucking hard that Satan would literally be cheering you on.

“Lucifer you motherfucking son of a bitch where the FUCK is my Limited-Edition Vinyl Box Set?!” “MC, what did you just call me?”

This man will not accept being called a ‘motherfucking son of a bitch’, remember he’s the avatar of pride. He will not take your insult well. It also turns out that he accidentally broke it.

Though you insulted him that badly over your broken Vinyl box set, you still care for him as usual. Scolding him for having a shitty work and sleep schedule. Insisting that he could get more work done rested well. (though you’d prefer if he worked less and spent more time with you)

Mammon

Is fucking scared of you, but also fucking in love with you. He’d even sacrifice the things he’s bought that were so fucking expensive, for you to use it as a stress reliever. 

Story time, when Mammon tried to escape Levi and use you as a sacrifice. You’d literally grab his jackets collar, and said to him. “Where the fuck do you think you’re going? Are you that scared of some scrawny-ass bitch?”

Sadly, he managed to get away. 

There are cute moments between you two at times. Like how you are literally helping him get over his immense fear of Lucifer and telling him to ‘man up’ and you also encourage him to stand up to the people who bully him, like a real man.

“Listen here Mammon, you gotta stop letting your lil’ brothers bullying you. You are literally the second strongest, act like it! You’ve gotta stop acting like a pussy!”

All I can say is you’re making progress, just very slowly.

Leviathan 

Remember how I said that you called Levi a ‘scrawny-ass bitch’? He was very offended by that, but couldn’t help but accept it as the truth since he is what you’d call a ‘Slim-Jim’

He’ll yell at you, saying that was offensive. And he couldn’t help it since he was a disgusting shut-in Otaku.

“Who the fuck told you you could degrade yourself huh? I see nothing wrong with how you are you fucking dumbass!”

He’ll be crying tears of gratitude, but he’ll quickly wipe them away and get down to business to defeat, the Huns.

He’ll invite you to play video games with him (specifically games like Super Smash Demons) just to see your angered reaction when he wins. He’ll find it amusing and scary at the same time. It was funny to watch the loser rage when you won. And it was scary because unlike the times when he watched the losers rage, the loser, was RIGHT beside him, and could literally put him in the hospital. 

Whenever he calls himself a gross disgusting otaku, etc. you will literally smack him and swear at him very heavily, yelling at him to stop calling himself that. 

Satan

You think the avatar of wrath, ANGER INCARNATE, would get along with you, A LITERAL TICKING TIME BOMB THAT’S ABOUT TO EXPLODE. Well you are sorely mistaken. 

You guys would literally be the best the best of buddies. No doubt about that. You both would go to libraries (and proceed to get kicked out because of how loud you are), go to art museums to admire art. (and proceed to get kicked out because you’re being too loud and disturbing the other people who are trying to admire the art).

He’ll vent to you about his daddy issues problems with Lucifer. And you’ll gladly help him vent out all his pent up anger. “Listen here Satan. The best way to vent your anger is through violence, so if you don’t want to beat somebody to a bloody pulp, now’s your chance to do so.” when you told him that he was like: dude wtf is wrong with you. Then you told him that he could just use a punching bag. 

So yay! He can let out all his anger AND get ripped! Nice. He can use his (soon to arrive) muscles to crack Lucifer’s head open, yipee!!!

Though sometimes you get angry at Satan and vice versa. You two’ll get into fights and the room you two were fighting will be absolutely DEMOLISHED. Satan would be in demon form- no joke, he will be in his fucking demon form. 

You will both be incredibly bloody and beat up, that the brothers wont be able to recognize you. Apart from those ‘small’ fights, you both are very good friends and always look out for each other.

Asmodeus 

He’ll be telling you that being that angry will make you look like an old person, ew! 

Honestly in my opinion, he’ll be the person you’ll complain about your (small) problems to the most. He’ll be painting your nails and you’ll be like: “Dude, Beel ate the fucking food I ordered from Akudonalds! I was fucking starving and Beel just had to come along and eat it.”  “I get what you mean darling, one time Beel ate the limited edition perfume I had bought and was going to use on my date with this hot succubus.” 

Whenever he’ll take a pic with you, you’ll always look angry or be mid-shout in said pic. 

The replies on that photo would fall into one of three categories: a. They’re mainly focusing on Asmo, b. They would be laughing at your face or c. They’d be asking on who the fuck you were.

Asmo would reply to one of the comments in category c telling them: “He’s my significant other ofc~~”

You could always sense whenever he was feeling insecure, so being the good friend you are, you pull up a chair, and have a talk with Asmo.

Beelzebub

Your strong? Well now you’re Beelzebub’s gym buddy yayyyyyy.

Ninety percent of gym equipment is broken since you get a bit too angry, and Lucifer is going to give you one heck of a scolding. 

Beel will eat your food (he’s the avatar of gluttony, what’d you expect), then you’d literally be throwing hands with this giant.

“BEELZEBUUUUUUUUUUUB, HOW DARE YOU EAT THE FOOD I’VE BEEN WAITING TO ARRIVE FOR A LITERAL FUCKING HOUR.”

He’ll feel sorry and try to make it up to you, he’ll give you food, more food, even more food. Till there’s a mountain of his stash of food (plus the food from the fridge) right outside your door, he would literally wait outside your door, starving, as he’s waiting for you to go outside.

When you do go outside, you’ll spot Beel, hugging his knees, most likely asleep. You’ll sigh and grab some of the food on the pile and made your way towards the man. You grabbed him by his hair, lifting his head up. Beel would yawn and blink twice, then he’ll see your face. “MC... I’m sorry about your food...” you sighed. “Don’t worry about it Beel, now eat this shit. I know you’re hungry.”

Belphegor 

When he tried to kill you, your first thoughts were: Aight, time to kick this guy in the family jewels

And that you did. 

Though you still died, so your efforts were all in vain, and then you came back to life. You literally charged at him and pinned him to the ground, shouting profanities as the brothers tried to get you off of him. 

Honestly, you guys really wouldn’t get along that well. If he’s going to try to sleep, one way or another you’re going to stroll in arguing with one of his brothers. You were yelling loudly and swearing a bit too much that it caused Belphie to wake up, which in itself is an impossible achievement since Belphegor could literally sleep through an entire building construction even if it was all happening right beside him.

He’d be pissed that you woke him up, and then you’d forget your previous argument and focus on the one you currently having with the Avatar of Sloth.

He’ll be very happy when he sees you have fights with Lucifer, because nobody in their right mind would dare shout curse words and punch him in the gut, apart from him and Satan of course. When Lucifer locks you up in your room, he’ll make an attempt to help you escape your prison if he’s feeling generous. 

you’d think a muppet Sherlock Holmes would cast Kermit as Holmes and Miss Piggy as Watson based on body type, but no. You’d be wrong. Holmes is Miss Piggy and Watson is Kermit and you know, you KNOW I am right

reblog to let people know you were here before the great twitter migration

This is Rafah, The "safe" zone, where 1.5 million Palestinian fled to. You have to understand, what bombing Rafah means.

Please don't look away, while everybody is busy watching the super bowl, Israel commits one of its most deadly and openly genocidal attacks on Rafah. Please don't look away.