Diary Entry #12

Hello again

Am 19 now, not on T yet (unfortunately!!)

LOVE THIS THIS IS INCREDIBLE!! I NEED MORE ART OF THIS MAN

zomboss is my favorite character from the comics? yes. This is actually a wip because i havent finished this one.

(angry video game nerd voice) two genders? that's it? and you just get given one at random, you don't even get to decide which one you want? what a shitload of fuck

how it feels to be online these days

Literally my shitty religious counselor with the "you should talk to your father again!!" when i've told him how many times he's fucked me over and how he neglected me when I was a kid. If you're reading this, i hate you (my counselor)

HAPPY TRANS DAY OF VISIBILITY EVERYONE!! I am closeted but I tried to celebrate today by drawing and having a good time as best as I could. Here's the drawing I made with my trans oc!!

cw- drawn sh scars, not a vent post just a part of the character

(The text says happy TDOV; don't let the bastards win!)

[ID: a drawing by OP of his zombie oc; he's wearing headphones, a torn shirt, a binder, cargo pants, and is waving a trans pride flag. Nico, the oc, has brown hair and is smiling slightly. /END ID]

I don't think you're a trans ally until you accept trans people who don't want to transition. And I don't just mean medically.

I mean trans men who look indistinguishable from cis women and trans women who look indistinguishable from cis men and they're happy like that. Who have no intention of changing their style, presentation, or even pronouns.

Some women don't look like the stereotypical idea of "woman" and it's the same for men. But they're still men and women. I need you to understand that gender has no bearing on appearance and people's comfort in their own bodies is more important than the fictional idea of what manhood and womanhood looks like.

And, yes, some people can't transition due to disability or funds or whatever and they're included in this, yes. But you need to accept people who don't want to either. Who willingly make the choice to not transition in any way because that's how they're the most comfortable.

A trans person who doesn't transition is just as much their gender as anyone else of that same gender. Please get that through your head.

To any trans men who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a man. You've always been a man. You will always be a man.

To any trans women who don't want to transition or change their appearance in any way: You're a woman. You've always been a woman. You will always be a woman.

The way your body looks doesn't matter in the slightest, your gender is real and legitimate and valid regardless of any other factors.

I live in -misery- (missouri) and i dont think I can ever move so that’s fun. Illinois is so fucking close but I can’t move there!! Help me!!

For my Americans out there, here is a map with the safest states for trans folk. These are the states that have the most laws in place to specifically protect trans people.

Maryland is currently the safest, here is an article about it.

t.co

Maryland Governor Declares Maryland A Trans Sanctuary State

Maryland is the 12th state to enact policies that refuse compliance with out of state laws that target transgender people. Governor Wes Moor

I hate how people martyr the pre-transition version of myself, as if they were an innocent victim I've killed.

When they speak about my past, they use my old name, and always in a somber tone, as if they're mourning this poor innocent person who had so much promise, who had achieved so much. When I remind them it was me, I'm still here, I'm told that it was them who achieved these things, that I need to remember that.

That person they remember so fondly, mourn so much was a shell. They mention how pretty she was, how accomplished she was. They speak about me now with disdain, like I've ruined her memory. Like everything I'm doing now is an affront to what she did. They attribute the achievements I made to somebody else, somebody who doesn't exist.

I was miserable. I made all of those achievements in spite of my suffering. On paper I was the perfect granddaughter, the oldest daughter, the golden child. In reality, I couldn't imagine a life where I could ever feel happiness, barely took care of myself, was numb to everything. All of those achievements are nothing in comparison to the joy that living my life authentically has brought me. The passport showing my sex as male, with my chosen name, is worth so much more to me than my degree certificates.

Doing what was expected of me what easy, nobody would have shunned me for being the perfect daughter. The efforts I've made over the past year to build a life worth living, just for myself, in spite of how I've been treated for it, that has been hard. But that is worth it.