One Of My Most Persistent Fantasies Is Me Giving Myself An Incredibly Deep Wound And Then Cauterizing

madoka magica is sooo crazy imagine being in middle school and your crush dies and you’re so upset that you kickstart a time loop and repeat the same month 100 times over trying to stop her from dying but unwittingly you make her more and more important to the universe’s continuation (because you have effectively created 100 timelines that are dependent only on the survival of your crush) and therefore her death becomes more and more devastating to the world as a whole in every new timeline and finally your crush sacrifices her life willingly to become a god and you’re the only one who remembers her and this depresses you so much that you construct a whole imaginary universe where your crush is alive and you trap yourself and the souls of your friends inside it and then when you realize it’s Not Real, Actually, you pull your crush (who, again, is now god) down from heaven and become the literal actual devil

"you were such a sweet child what happened?" existence

i wanna be okay SO BAD

april fools in a few weeks. who will ask me to be their fool

keep yourself cute!

Close up under the cut

i spend a bunch of time overthinking only to make an impulsive decision in the end, such is the plight of a fool

"this fit eats!" but then the fit is just being skinny...😭

that feeling of joy that comes when you finally have a good day after months is so pleasant but also...why'd it take so much effort just for me to wash my face😭😭

digging myself deeper into this hole because if i'm unable to rejoice in the light above ground, at least i can find comfort in the familiarity of the darkness

i'm such a coward