Person A: “You Can’t Go Around Assaulting People With Seafood!”

Person A: “You can’t go around assaulting people with seafood!”

Person B: “Sure I can, I just slapped (Person C) with a salmon.”

Person A: “WHY WOULD YOU SLAP SOMEONE WITH A SALMON!!!???”

Person B: “It was on sale.”

Submitted by @xpegasusuniverse

More Posts from Astroschannie and Others

1 year ago
ORV As Textposts 60/???
ORV As Textposts 60/???
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ORV As Textposts 60/???
ORV As Textposts 60/???
ORV As Textposts 60/???
ORV As Textposts 60/???
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ORV as textposts 60/???

11 months ago

Han Sooyoung potentially the most doomed by the narrative character of all time. She wrote the entire narrative that doomed her. She was a lonely and neglected but otherwise normal child and then at some point in her young teen years she gets possesed by a god that uses her body every night to write the story that will destroy the world. Her mind and body are no longer fully her own, they've been hijacked by someone who is leaving her exhausted and with confusing dreams, someone who is sealing her fate and pushing her along towards her destiny without HSY having a single clue. She will follow the pre determined path this God laid out for her, will go through all the suffering and pain that this God has planned, until it is too late for her to turn back. When she finally realises the truth she will be in too deep, and her only choice will be to continue along this chosen path. She loves too fiercely to choose any other way. She will doom the world over and over again, selfishly sacrificing millions and selflessly sacrificing every part of herself because her monstrous heart is too full of love. This one boy she cares for must stay alive. There is no price she will not pay in order to make that happen.

After all this you'd think she'd be furious at this God but how can she? The god is her, just a version of her further along the narrative who cannot change her nature anymore than young Han Sooyoung or old Han Sooyoung can. The god will write and write to keep this boy alive without ever getting to see him or talk to him, and in the end she will flicker out to be nothing but a part of HSY's memories. Every version of Han Sooyoung is tied to this narrative, there is no one point where you can stop and blame a version of her. They are all guilty and they will all do it over and over again. They are too full of fierce, selfish love for any other alternative.

3 years ago

“I thought, ‘As long as I can make them laugh, it doesn’t matter how, I’ll be alright. If I succeed in that, the human beings probably won’t mind it too much if I remain outside their lives. The one thing I must avoid is becoming offensive in their eyes: I shall be nothing, the wind, the sky.’ My activities as jester, a role born of desperation, were extended even to the servants, whom I feared even more than my family because I found them incomprehensible.”

Dazai Osamu, No Longer Human (pg. 28-9)

“I Thought, ‘As Long As I Can Make Them Laugh, It Doesn’t Matter How, I’ll Be Alright. If I Succeed
3 years ago
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩
Genshin Impact Version 2.0 ✩

genshin impact version 2.0 ✩

 inazuma characters 

3 years ago

kazuha’s friend was a chaotic bisexual chad who decided he wanted to die by the raiden shogun’s titty blade and I have nothing but respect for him for that

2 months ago

no, nine, please. your leather jacket was too cunty. the people can't handle your effortless nice guy swag and bitchy personality.

3 years ago

“I’m beginning a diary of my own. Someone like me, someone who doesn’t open [their] heart to others, needs to talk to [myself] at least.”

Tanizaki Jun'ichirō, The Key

“I’m Beginning A Diary Of My Own. Someone Like Me, Someone Who Doesn’t Open [their] Heart To Others,
3 years ago

“All my life I’ve never known what scorn or hate or anger or jealousy feel like. I just copy other people and make a show out of hating or despising certain things. In reality, I don’t understand any of it. I have no idea what it feels like to hate someone, to detest someone, to feel jealousy.”

Dazai Osamu, “A New Hamlet”

“All My Life I’ve Never Known What Scorn Or Hate Or Anger Or Jealousy Feel Like. I Just Copy Other
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